Douche of the Week

Alan Osmond Goes From Feminine Dancing to Defending Reparative Therapy

Each week, Queerty picks one blowhard, hypocrite, airhead, sanctimonious prick or other enemy of all that is queer to be the Douche of the Week. Have a nominee for DOTW? E-mail it to us at [email protected].


Last week we brought the mildly offensive but mostly ridiculous clip of Alan Osmond—eldest scion of the Osmond clan and brother to Donny and Marie—talking about how Chuck Norris helped karate-chop the feminine tendencies out of the boys’ dance moves back in the 1970s.

Alan getting more media attention for defending reparative therapy in a column on his website,

The “article” is the most redonkulous poorly worded bunch of bigoted malarky that we couldn’t help ourselves but to crown Alan Osmond with our highly distinguished honor as “Douche of the Week.”

Check out this telling passage. (The grammar and style is Osmond’s):

In addition to having counsel from the Lord’s prophet to provide guidance, it is helpful to have accurate information about homosexualityand its development. First, it is important to understand thathomosexuality is not innate and unchangeable. Research has NOT proved that homosexuality is genetic. Even more important, many researchers whose studies have been used to support a biological model forhomosexuality have determined that their work has been MISINTERPRETED.

What is clear is that homosexuality results from an interaction of social, biological, and psychological factors. These factors may include temperament, personality traits, sexual abuse, familial factors, and treatment by one’s peers.

Developmental factors aside, can individuals diminish homosexual attraction and make changes in their lives? Yes. There is substantial evidence, both historical and current, to indicate this is the case.

Oh but of course Alan doesn’t have any data on that “substantial evidence.”

The Osmond family is famously Mormon and Alan currently serves on the Church of Latter-Day Saints’ high council in Orem, UT. He states that “is not an official site of our Church,” but it’s filled with religious doctrine. So is he speaking as private individual or a mouthpiece for his Church?

His venomous diatribe would be bad enough in the abstract, but Alan is the uncle of Jessica Osmond, Marie’s out and proud lesbian daughter. Marie is supportive of her child and the gay community in general, but ol’ Alan is just fine insulting his own family.

All together now: What a douche!

Source: Back2Stonewall,

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  • Michael

    Wow, another fat-ass, unattractive, repulsive man who is homophobic. Go figure. It’s not hard to do the math. Would someone please point out one good looking homophobe who isn’t a total closet case?

  • Tim Trent

    @Michael: Maybe it’s because all the boys ignored the shiny toothed lardass and he never had any locker room fun! Oh hush my gay mouth, what have I said!

  • Cam

    1. “Even more important, many researchers whose studies have been used to support a biological model forhomosexuality have determined that their work has been MISINTERPRETED.”

    (And yet he doesn’t provide any links proving this, he is just parroting the Mormon Church’s lies)

    2. No wonder Marie’s son killed himself if this is what he was hearing in the family.

  • dvlaries

    Could it be something as simple as resentment that nobody under 50 remembers this clown as being famous for anything, and if sounding like a Marcus Bachmann disciple would put his name back out there, well, that’s what it takes?

    It has to be a blow to the pride that his kid sister, who ain’t moving records anymore either, can at least get a Nutri-System deal.

  • Ted

    Really wish you would refrain from using words like: redonkulous. It is not a word.

  • Will

    It’s really douchable since his gay nephew committed suicide a few years ago. very sad. “i’m a Mormon” indeed.

  • xander

    @michaelcrook : No, he doesn’t “get it,” and neither do you. Regurgitating discredited research from the 1970s and 80s makes your ‘side’ appear out of touch with evidence-based research and practice in the realm of human sexuality. All you got is a musty pair of holy books and blood on your hands for supporting so called ‘reparative therapy.’

  • Greybat

    Religion is the Graveyard of Show Business.

  • the crustybastard

    As usual, the pro-gay side must prove their argument to a scientific certainty, while the anti-gay side is allowed to rest their argument entirely on “well, I believe the Bible, which says…”

    If they’re the ones who insist that everyone’s sexual orientation is inherently hetero, or can be reoriented to hetero, then it’s incumbent on them to prove to a scientific certainty their theory is true; it’s not their opponent’s obligation to prove that it isn’t.

    If I’m going to assert that gravity ISN’T the reason things land on the floor when they’re dropped, it’s my responsibility to disprove the theory of gravity, not to require everyone else to present evidence to my satisfaction explaining why I’m wrong.

  • Ian

    I wonder how many times he blew Donny when they were teens…..

  • Mike in Asheville

    Who the fuck gives a fuck what this fuck has to say? He is, afterall, a member of the aptly named Moron Church.

  • Jack E. Jett

    Fucked up Mormons are a dime a dozen.

  • geoff

    Funny how he is not condemning Marie for divorcing. Wasn’t he the deaf one (?!?) Maybe he didn’t hear about it.

  • Robert in NYC

    Wow…when I first looked at his photo, I thought it was a butch lesbian.

  • shle896

    I’ve got more sympathy than ever for this man’s nephew who jumped to his death last year. If people like him were in my family, I’d be tempted myself.


    Says the fat vile disgusting reprehensive hatespewing ugly bastard……….

    Interesting to note that there is much evidence that the more sons a family has the greater chance they are Gay…..wonder how far down the line this scumbag is??

  • Bale Hipo

    I hope Queerty looks into the circumstances surrounding the 2010 suicide of Marie Osmond’s adopted son, Michael Blosil, a student at The LA Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising.
    Michael was gay and his Mormon family wants to cover it up so he doesn’t become another example of their Church’s bigotry.

  • Queer Supremacist

    This is why James Buchanan is our worst president: he had the chance to stop this cult once and for all, but he backed down.

  • dsp

    Having heard the rumours that Marie Osmond’s son was gay and now listening to this moron ohh I meant Mormon and his views about reparative therapy….makes me think that maybe, just maybe Michael Blosil thought it was his only way out of this secte…

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