Two soldiers found love in the unlikeliest of places, and their story is definitely one for the ages.
Back in 2004, Nayyef Hrebid and Betu Allami were both soldiers working together to secure a Ramadi hospital that had been taken over by insurgents. Hrebid was an interpreter with the U.S. Marines, and Allami was a soldier with the Iraqi Army.
The men spent a great deal of time in a safe house together sharing meals and conversation, and Hrebid says their bond led to something more:
“We fight. So what we talk about is our life and past, about how we feel, about where we like to be in the future. And that was very beautiful in that difficult moment.”
After just a few days, Allami professed his love to Hrebid, who returned his confession with a kiss. Though the two men found love, they were still in a very homophobic place.
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In Iraq, the men faced prison or even violence just for being gay. Hrebid shared just how dangerous it is to be gay in Iraq:
“It’s losing your life. You get shame to the family. You lose your family, and you lose your friends, you lose everything almost. That is why there is other ways to be gay, just between you and maybe the other person.”
In 2009, Hrebid was given asylum in the U.S. after being targeted by insurgents for his work in Iraq, but he was forced to leave Allami behind. Even though he was working with U.S. forces, Allami’s past as an Iraqi soldier made it difficult for him to get a visa to enter the U.S., but a friend got him to Beirut and then to Canada, where Hrebid visited him weekly.
The two men were married on Valentine’s Day of 2014 in Vancouver. Nearly a year later, the couple was finally able to get an appointment with U.S. Immigration, and Allami was approved to live in the United States. Hrebid was elated:
“I lost myself. I really lost myself because this finally is happening. We could live together. I want to wake up to up see him in front me. And when I close my eyes, he’s the last face I see.”
The two were married in the U.S. in August 2015 and have settled in Seattle.
We encourage you to listen to the entire 7-minute piece. It’s quite lovely, and although Valentine’s Day has passed, we’re sure you have time for a little bit of romance.
DCguy
Unless I read it wrong neither was a U.S. soldier. They both were Iraqi, one worked for the U.S. as an interpreter there in his country, and was later grated asylum here, the other was an Iraqi soldier.
Still a very nice story.
Brian
Great article and fascinating story.
In countries like Iraq, formal homosexuality is frowned upon but informal homosexuality is quite common. This is hinted at by one of the men in the story.
timucua
I was a little bit confused by the beginning of the story, I thought Nayyef Hrebid was an American citizen.
Bauhaus
@Brian:
It’s called the closet – a social system and society you no doubt prefer.
Sweetie Pie
They were able to get married in Vancouver.
Thank you Canada !!
Creamsicle
You mean one of the 5 Iraqi army soldiers we trained turned out to be gay? Why can’t I have those odds to work with state side?
badpappy
@DCguy: one was an Iraqi soldier the other an interpreter with the US Marines – that would make him a US Soldier. but I agree. a very nice story.
Hussain-TheCanadian
Very nice story indeed!!
The Arab world is really interesting place when it comes to Homosexuality; Woman are much freer in this regard, their girlfriends are always presented as Best-friends, and easily absorbed by both families – its true that both would be in the closet and not recognized.
Not so easy for gay men; depending on the Arab country/region, sometimes all you have to do is scratch the surface and you’ll see gay people everywhere, and people do recognize them as gay, but no one talks about it. Its easier in places like Kuwait, Bahrain, Oman, Lebanon, Turkey, Bahrain……but still nothing like a movement.
As soon as you begin to talk, if the dictatorial government doesn’t crush you, the religious fanatics will – the key to gay freedom is definitely the freedom of all Arab societies. There needs to be support from doctors, philosophers, journalists, Clerics, and civil society in general.
When transexuality was legalized in Iran, it was the first Muslim nation to do so, and it overruled 1400 years of Shariah law – so it can happen, and it will happen, it just needs the right social conditions to push for this change.
myloginname
Wow what a powerful story. I want to reach out and hug these two but since I cannot I can only send them love and prayers for a continued happy life together.
JohnAGJ
@badpappy: Not necessarily. The U.S. hired local Iraqis to as interpreters during the conflict. This didn’t make them soldiers or Marines themselves, just attached to a unit of one of them.
Bauhaus
@Hussain-TheCanadian:
Get the hell outta here! Iran?! They’ve executed between 4,000-6,000 gays since 1979. Moreover, they use that “trans” law as a tool against gay men, forcing them to have male to female sex reassignment surgery. You’ve gotta be kidding me with this crap about Iran… Go jump in a lake.
Brian
@Bauhaus: Um, no, I don’t prefer the closet. But “closet” has become a fake term which is designed to make men think that they are liberating themselves if they publicly identify as gay or take part in sexual activity in public. It’s a fake term.
My experience is that men simply move from one closet to the next when they “come out of the closet”. The gay scene is itself a closet. You’re not really liberating yourself as much as you are building a comfort zone for your sexual activity. It makes you feel better but it’s not liberation.
The forces that push men to hide their same-sex sexual feelings or activity within closets (including the gay scene closet) are many. Women are one such force. Religion is one such force. In some cases, it’s justified, in others it isn’t. There is no justification for public sexual activity in view of everybody.
Bauhaus
@Brian:
You need therapy. STAT.
Hussain-TheCanadian
@Bauhaus: Holy shit you need to calm the fuck down – I didn’t say what I said because im endorsing the Iranian regime, I gave an example of what is possible and what they, the Iranians, did.
Yes I agree, the trans operations are being used against gay men, I saw that documentary too, but generally speaking, they need a doctor to sign off on it.
No i’m not going to jump into a lake, its -2C here.
Bauhaus
@Hussain-TheCanadian:
An example of what is possible? How difficult do you think it would be to force a doctor to “sign off on it” in that evil place? Also, if there is a choice between life or the surgery… I usually enjoy reading your comments, but not this time. Peace to you.
Hussain-TheCanadian
@Bauhaus: Of course its easy to force a doctor to sign off, that’s not my point really. As homophobic as the Iranian regime is, they were forced (Ayatollah Khomeini and several Ayatollahs were forced), by several doctors, to change their stance on transexuality.
That’s why today, in the Shia sect/School, Transexuality is considered natural.
Now that being said, I hate how they are using these operations against gay men, all i saying things can change.
Disagreeing is cool, we can’t all agree on everything (smile).
eliasadc
the guy in the red jacket looks like a stud. while the short guys doesn’t look great. doesn’t really seem like a good match physically.
Stilinski26
glad they manage to get out of Iraq and were allowed to live in USA.
unreligious
eliasadc many people are not so shallow that they pick a partner based solely on looks. Nor is your standard of beauty the same as everyone else’s.
Me2
@eliasadc: Because physical appearance is all that matters, right? Which is why you and your gorgeous husband are celebrating how many years of genuine love and blissful marriage??
mozzer
@eliasadc: Shallow and RUDE!
ShaunNJ
@eliasadc: It is really despicable you would take this lovely inspiring story – of men who love each other so much they endured a separation of time and thousands of miles – and reduce it to your subjective comments on beauty. They are in love with each other and that’s all that matters. If they aren’t your type I’m sure they don’t give a shit (I find them both attractive – inside and out).
One of the freedoms we enjoy in the United States is freedom of speech – that doesn’t mean we need to share and say everything. Try to think before you speak or write.
arthurb3
Wonderful story!
GayEGO
How sweet it is! Love trumps all, and I don’t mean Donald Trump! :>)
Kangol
A beautiful story.
Gary_Gans
@Creamsicle: Finding Love is never easy, and being Westerners we instructed by the media, movies, and our own Community to take the physical appearance as a gauge to our Love with another. These two men have dealt with a war that is still happening there. What they found with each other are a relationship from the inside to out. Yes, they have a physical attraction to each other, but their bond is far more than just their physical appearances. It is the type of Love that lasts a lifetime.
I wish them a happy, healthy, and loving marriage. It is inspiring.