vanity fairies

Anderson Cooper Let His Boyfriend See Daylight at the Oscars

Usually trapped behind a public veil of un-acknowledgment and elephants in rooms, Anderson Cooper‘s boyfriend Benjamin Maisani made his big debut at Vanity Fair‘s Oscar party. But miraculously, his name managed to escape the photo agency’s captions.

The Getty-owned WireImage agency took this picture of Cooper, the Seinfelds, and the back of what appears to be Maisani’s head in what is the closest thing to visual confirmation of the pair attending together. The arrival of the CNN newsman and the East Village gay bar owner together is a milestone because the party was a “very public event,” notes Brian Moylan. Which is true, in a sense: All eyes are on the party, and there’s a massive photo dump going on in real-time as photographers snap away at guest arrivals and such, uploading pictures to WireImage’s servers before offloading them to and other high bidders.

But truly, the Vanity Fair Oscar party is like Fort David on marching powder: Security is insanely tight, legit invites terribly difficult to come by, and the only way to get guaranteed access to the event is to marry editor Graydon Carter. Or win an Oscar.

But hey, congrats on becoming this year’s Vanity Fairies.

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  • David Ehrenstein

    I saw another shot of the two of them in a car on the way to the party.

  • benlayvey

    Slowly but surely he inches closer to the public closet door eh? Take it easy kiddo, on your own time.

  • David Ehrenstein

    He’s taken it FAR too easy for EONS!

  • Cam

    It’s a shame that the press is so unfair to the straight couples. THEY have to worry about what they look like. With the gay couples, the partners either never end up in the pictures, are not names, or are labeled “A friend” if they are shot going into the party. Good for Cooper though for finally seeming to get a little more comfortable with himself.

  • M. Bergeron

    Cooper is a coward.

  • ewe

    I think the both of them need a new barber. Their hair looks really bad. Or maybe they don’t have nice heads. You have to have a nice head to wear your hair so closely clipped.

  • Mickey

    Who knows whether AC will come out publicly, I’m not really expecting it, but it’s still nice to just see him out there at a big event like this with his guy.

  • MackMichael

    reporting on life and living it are two entirely different things, and now it would appear he wishes to do both more fully if possible.

  • terrwill

    Baby steps……….

    At least he is not like 99% of the rest if the Gays in public life who are constantly photographed with a beard, yet sporting no facial hair…………..

  • The Milkman

    Fort David? Do you mean CAMP David?

  • tri

    What is Anderson embarrassed about? being gay?

  • David Ehrenstein

    @tri: That’s a very good question. He’s not embarrassed about his bipolar brother’s suicide (a truly horrid affair that he recounts in his bio book), and he’s risked life and limb as a world-class reporter, going places few of us would even THINK of venturing into. Plus he’s a sophisticated and soignee as all get out. That’s why his choking on Teh Ghey is such a mystery.

    Coop needs to find his inner Neil Patrick Harris. Maybe he’s on the verge of doing so. I certainly hope that’s the case.

  • Zach

    For the last time, NPH was forced out and decided to take the bull by the horns. It is not Anderson’s or any other gay celebritys job to out themselves to suit our agenda.

  • ross

    There’s nothing weird about the way the wireimage vanity fair pic is labelled. The other pics don’t give the name of someone with just the back of their head in the edge of a shot.

    The party is highly photographed and filmed, there are gossip columnists in there who report on it, and the hollywood reporter publishes a list of the attendees by table including AC and his boyfriend . This is a very exposed elite party, Queerty.

  • rrr

    @David Ehrenstein: Neil Patrick Harris only found his “inner Neil Patrick Harris” because his PR person wasn’t properly on board Neil’s glass closet bus and told everyone he was straight. That ruined his plans to stay in the glass closet, it was either the real closet as a liar or coming out. And Neil would know like everyone that liars as clearly gay as he was attract a lot of hate.

  • Joe

    I dont believe Anderson is embarrassed or being a coward.
    I think its more to do with his own personal safety issues.
    He travels around the world doing news stories all the time.
    When people stop torturing and killing people cause they are gay and different, Maybe AC will finally admit to the world, That yes, He is indeed in love with another Man.
    Lets face it, He would make a perfect target for these hateful people to use AC in such an awful way. Too show the world, so too speak, the thought of it scares the hell out of me.
    He seems like a well brought up intelligent handsome gentleman
    I personally DO NOT BLAME HIM!
    Its no ones business but his own.

  • ewe

    @Joe: He was much to nice to Tony Perkins giving that thing a platform to spew out his hate against people exactly like himself. While it is admirable to some, he could have insisted Perkins defend his moral intrusion much more fiercely.

  • David Ehrenstein

    @rrr: What “plans to stay in the closet”? You’re delusional.

  • David Ehrenstein

    @Joe: Cooper has “pseronal safety issues” regardless of his sexuality. He’s a truly intrepid journalist. He goes all over the place, right into the jaws of genuine danger. I truly admire his reporting of Hurricaine Katrina. He was on the ground with the surviors at the Astrodome and was rerporting first hand on things the rest of the press ignored — and would continue to ignore were it not for him. I really admire the guy. He’s got a lot of guts. That’s why I find his choking on Teh Ghey so odd. If he came out tomorrow he wouldn’t lose a single female fan — most of whom know or guess anyway. Men who’d object really don’t matter cause not a one of them would have the cojones to go where he goes.

    I truly hope this Meet the Boyfriend tour will end on a forthright note.

  • Cam

    Ok, give me a break. I have to respond to two people..

    No. 13 · Zach
    For the last time, NPH was forced out and decided to take the bull by the horns. It is not Anderson’s or any other gay celebritys job to out themselves to suit our agenda.

    Our “AGENDA”?? If by our agenda you mean people not treating the person they were born being as a shameful dirty secret then sure I guess we have an agenda.

    No. 16 · Joe said…
    I dont believe Anderson is embarrassed or being a coward.
    I think its more to do with his own personal safety issues.
    He travels around the world doing news stories all the time.
    When people stop torturing and killing people cause they are gay and different, Maybe AC will finally admit to the world, That yes, He is indeed in love with another Man.

    Oh my god, are you joking? Ok, two things here.
    1. He wasn’t out BEFORE he was a reporter traveling.

    2. Jewish reporters travel to Arab Nations, Female reporters travel to the Middle East where women have little to know rights, as well as countries where human traficing is practiced.

    this whole “Oh, he would be out but for the fact that 5 years from now he might have to go to a country that doesn’t like gays” bullshit is just such a ridiculous stretch. you should be embarassed for that one.

  • rrr

    @ Cam

    He wasn’t out before he was a reporter travelling? When was that? When he was in high school? He started as a combat reporter in his early 20s and has continued to do location work since then.

  • rrr

    @David Ehrenstein: Neil has said himself in interview that he had intended not to comment on his sexuality (i.e. he planned stay in the glass closet) except that the PR person pulled the surprise whammy on him. Perez was trying to dig up dirt on him and Neil was also worried whatever Perez would come up with would be more destructive than just coming out himself. Perez made things uncomfortable for Neil and then his PR person put the nail in the coffin of Neil’s intended course of action.

    I’m glad it worked out for Neil careerwise, but can we stop pretending like he is a holy gay saint? He made some calculations after being boxed in and we benefited from the result.

  • Wicked1

    You people need to stop. Anderson Cooper is out, everybody knows he’s gay. Just because he hasn’t given an interview to the Advocate, or doesn’t drag his boyfriend out for the photogs doesn’t mean he’s in the closet. He doesn’t have to get on national tv and say “I’m gay” if he doesn’t want to, some celebrities like to actually keep their personal lives private, gay or straight. There are plenty of people who most know or feel are gay, and they haven’t acknowledged it, like Queen Latifah or Jodie Foster. It doesn’t mean they are embarrassed or anything else. Its their right to keep what they want private. They don’t owe us, the public, anything. This is 1 of the problems I have with the community, trying to force people “out of the closet”, so to speak. Its not your life, you don’t have a say in it. As far as I’m concerned, AC is out, simply because everybody knows he’s gay. He doesn’t have to flaunt it or be obnoxiously over the top, like a lot of people

  • Lukas P.

    Maybe the Coop has some reason to be embarassed not about his gaynessnous but about the boyfriend? Like he’s a spy, a trafficker in fake handbags, is really a woman, or charges AC by the hour and accepts tips?

    Kidding of course, but if the relaysh isn’t solid, this may not be the time to prance outta the closet.

    It’s fun to speculate, but no one can accurately guess his reasons. I’m sure that when he does come out, he’ ll be welcome with open arms and lots of bitching too.

    We so love to devour our own!

  • Mick

    yea but he takes his boyfried on vacations to countries that don’t like gays. so that doesn’t work.

  • Alex

    Wicked1 is on to something. There is a big difference between running around with a beard and just not making an official statement. Even single straight people would probably make some sort of acknowledgment of such if enough (false) gay rumors started up. Having AC-amounts of rumors and speculation and still not denying it is practically like winking at all the gays and friends while still keeping the “see no evil, hear no evil,” etc socially conservative types oblivious to the whole thing. Having the gays and liberals think you’re gay while having social conservatives think you’re straight at the same time isn’t a bad deal for someone in the public eye.

  • Mickey

    Although I’d like to see Anderson publicly come out one day, but I also agree with Wicked1, we don’t have a say in how he chooses to live his life and I’ve never felt he was “ashamed” of being gay. He’s never given the slightest pretense that he’s attracted to women, ask Kelly Ripa who knows the sting of AC’s total rejection of her little flirtations when he’s on the show, they’re good friends, but even that won’t make him go there. I also don’t believe that because he’s spoken about personal matters such as his brother’s death that it automatically means he’s obligated to talk about his sexuality, the two have nothing to do with each other, his book was a specific subject and it wasn’t about the gender he prefers to sleep with.

  • David Ehrenstein

    @Mickey: It’s what Roland Barthes would call the “structuring absence” of his life. His failure to discuss Teh Ghey overwhelms everything.

    Discussing the horrible death of his brother (he was standing on the balcony of his mother’s apartment, and his mother had called Anderson in a last-ditch effort to save her other son — and he jumped as Anderson was trying to talk to him) is something SO incredibly personal that I can easily imagine someone to which it happend not wanting to talk baout it. But he did. So where does this leave his sexuality? Is it WORSE than the death of his brother? That’s the impression his silence leaves.

    But this new “Meet My Boyfriend” tour suggests that things might change soon. And I certainly hope they do.

  • David Ehrenstein

    Wanting to him to own up about his gayness is not “telling him how to live his life.”

  • Mickey

    His failure to discuss Teh Ghey overwhelms everything.

    Only for the people who place more importance on his sexuality than anything else that has taken place in his life. Doesn’t he have the right to disclose and discuss whatever it is he chooses? His mother has already spoken publicly about the suicide so it’s not like the information wasn’t already out there. I think it’s a big assumption to think that AC is somehow ashamed of his gayness simply because he chooses to keep quiet about that aspect of his life, I don’t see it that way, but to each his own.

  • Patty Mouth

    @ewe: I think their heads are being distorted by the camera lens. Cooper has a nicely shaped head.

  • MissTransSylvaniaTV

    1. A.C. (Air Conditioner?) needs a new barber. His BF needs a new head.
    2. The Coop needs to grow a pair of balls. Gay kids all over America coming out every day have more than he does. Heck, drag queens all over are more of a man than he is.
    3. Enough of the privacy cop-out. Everyone knows in Hollywood. So drop the act.
    4. He needs to go host a reality show on Bravo and leave the news, cause his program is in deep doodoo…

  • MissTransSylvaniaTV

    @Wicked1: Oh baby you’re sooo wrong. You know why? Cause when these “sellebrities” become famous, it’s thanks to US the PUBLIC! WE BUY THEIR FREAKING MOVIES, GO TO THEIR CONCERTS, TUNE IN TO THEIR TV SHOWS, WE MAKE THEM WHO THEY ARE. So HELL YEAH, they do owe us what all straight celebrities talk about constantly: their private lives.

  • Joe

    Ok Cam NO.20,
    What part of gay people are being tortured and killed in different parts of the world for being gay, that you don’t understand?
    You think Bill Clinton or Al Gore are going to don the Red Cape and go save a gay person from the U.S for being held against their own free will in some third world nation?
    Don’t hold your breath!….Better yet, Please do!
    or will it be Madonna and Lady Gaga that throw on the Wonder Woman and Girl outfits that save the day? Your the one who should be embarrassed.

  • mk

    @MissTransSylvaniaTV: Rational straight celebrities don’t share their whole private lives with the public, just some version of some pieces of it. Otherwise the celebrity goes nuts from having no privacy and the public usually gets weary of the celebrity and turned off by some of what they find out. Straight celebrities are constantly lying, excluding information or giving stock desirable answers about their own lives and mentality to try to market their persona successfully to the public.

    It’s like salesmen and service job workers. It’s part of their job to be engaging and appealing, make friendly with the customers, and present a product appropriate image. It’s not part of their job to open up more than they want to about their personal lives to customers or tell customers personal things about themselves that might spoil potential sales and get them canned. If they decide to open up about such things to customers they are free to make that choice and take their chances but it’s not their job to do it.

    The TV, music and movie businesses are businesses.

  • alan brickman

    He’ll come out when the book deal pays enough!! Some hero….

  • ewe

    @Patty Mouth: Thank you. I did not mean it as mean spirited. I was only wondering. Truth be told i really don’t care for hair that terribly short. It reminds me blind uniformity.

  • ewe

    @alan brickman: I don’t expect Sue Simmons to be a hero. Why is Anderson cooper any different?

  • ewe

    If i ever went to a shindig like that, you better believe i would have adorned myself with a bit more color than the two of them.

  • Cam

    No. 21 · rrr
    @ Cam

    He wasn’t out before he was a reporter travelling? When was that? When he was in high school? He started as a combat reporter in his early 20s and has continued to do location work since then.
    Gee, funny since he hosted “The Mole” for 2 seasons starting in 2000, then returned and was a co-anchor not a correspondant…any more history you’d like to rewrite?

    No. 36 · Joe
    Ok Cam NO.20,
    What part of gay people are being tortured and killed in different parts of the world for being gay, that you don’t understand?

    Look this is such a bullshit excuse. He never even said that he hasn’t come out because of the way gays are treated in other countries. Kathy Griffin said it to explain why she wouldn’t talk about his personal life. HE has always said he doesn’t want to be the story (In spite of going deep into personal issues in his auto-biography)

    My comment said that is you were going to use that bullshit excuse, then please explain to me the Female reporters that go to places like Aphghanistan, the Jewish Reporters that go to Syria or Saudi Arabia, the Christian Reporters that go to Iran etc… It is a bullshit excuse and you know it.

  • MissTransSylvaniaTV

    @mk: Stop defending what you can’t defend. Your argument is like my hairspray can right now honey: EMPTY!

  • onCloud9

    @ewe: Who’s Sue Simmons?

  • MeDontGetIt

    Are Anderson Booger and his BF from planet Pandora? Are they Na’vi? What’s up with their weird heads?

  • Anne

    @Cam: The mole was his idea of taking a break, it was never meant to be a permanent thing for him. He has indeed been reporting since he was early 20’s. He also travels as an anchor.

    The people you mentioned who go to those countries where they have a negative view of them are very brave, but they are definitely in higher danger than if they hadn’t been Female/Jewish/Christian/etc.

    @MissTransSylvaniaTV: Then why don’t you refute what he’s saying? He gives an argument, you cut it down without even addressing it directly.

  • rrr

    @Cam: I said he continued to do location work, not that he was continuing to do it every moment for 20 years. He took a short break for the Mole. He did correspondent work for 20/20 during his co-anchoring gig. His main career all along was news and there always would have been the knowledge that location work would be involved in future jobs even if he was taking a temporary break from that.

    He tried to keep it quiet that he’d been employed by the CIA because it could complicate his ability to get into other countries and do his job while there. Sometimes in pure practicality it’s simpler when you don’t announce something. Woman don’t have the option of not disclosing their gender, so it’s not comparable. Jews are sort of in the same sort of boat as women since their names are on their passports, although lots of jews in media and entertainment have been known to change their name to something non-jewish.

  • Mickey

    What’s up with their weird heads?

    Anderson once said on his show that he didn’t like to be filmed in profile because of his weird ET-like head (I think it’s cute), it’s some kind of Cooper family trait and it’s interesting that he’s found true love with someone with a similarly odd shaped head.

  • October2010

    Why stay in the closet at all? Why does he think it would be bad for him to come out? I mean the man is the son of a Vanderbilt. He certainly is not short on cash.
    The man has safety nets in place. If he is outed or comes out. How many of us can/could say that?
    Average gays, of which I consider myself, RISK and PAY far more then Anderson Cooper when we are outed or come out.
    By remaining silent, by not speaking out, he is no different than Merv Griffin, Rock Hudson.
    It simply means he has internalized homophobia.
    He would rather deny himself so he can be hetero!
    Read that again, heterosexual. Not a hero.
    C’mon folks.

  • Cam

    Give me a break, once again, the whole “Oh, no, gays are treated badly in that country” was something Kathy Griffin said for why SHE didn’t talk about him being gay. You folks ALL used to come in here and say that he doesn’t want to be the story, and that he has a personal life etc…, but as soon as some D List celeb gives a phony excuse, suddenly you’re all on here parroting Kathy Griffin and saying that THAT is why Anderson Cooper hasn’t come out. Please point to ANYPLACE he has said that he doesn’t discuss his dating life due to the danger of traveling to other countries.

    We get is, you like him, so watch his news program, but we are absolutly allowed to call him out on this issue if we choose to. We aren’t saying that the guy isn’t a good newscaster, we are pointing out his closeted status. Deal with it.

  • Anne

    @October2010: Cooper has never pretended to be heterosexual. He is also fine with appearing gay, so I don’t think it’s internal homophobia that keeps him from discussing his sexuality.

    @Cam: I don’t know if Anderson has given that argument himself, but it is definitely an argument to consider, and he might consider it as well without having said so in an interview.

    No-one is saying you aren’t allowed to do something, but can’t other people share and discuss their opinions too?

  • ewe

    @onCloud9: Sue Simmons is New York news anchor. She is quite an institution in my eyes.

  • Cam

    No. 51 · Anne said…
    @Cam: I don’t know if Anderson has given that argument himself, but it is definitely an argument to consider, and he might consider it as well without having said so in an interview.

    No-one is saying you aren’t allowed to do something, but can’t other people share and discuss their opinions too?

    But you aren’t sharing and discussing, people are saying that THIS is why he never came out. I am pointing out that they are lying, first by showing that he has not been a reporter for his entire life, and secondly by pointing out that Anderson Cooper never gave the reason they are claiming is his reason for staying closeted. You folks are so desperate to defend somebody you like that you are grasping at any straw to try to invent ANY reason that doesn’t involve cowardice.

  • Anne

    @Cam: I don’t mean to put it that way. I don’t know if it’s a reason for him, but it comes to mind, and it must have occurred to him as well, that it would make his job more difficult in gaining access and more dangerous travelling. It’s just a theory that that could be included in his reasoning, just like your theory is cowardice. We don’t know for sure what goes on in his head. I honestly don’t mean to grasp at straws, it just makes sense to me, but I guess we differ on that.

    It’s true that he hasn’t been reporting continuously, but he started doing reporting in his early 20’s, and has done it to some degree ever since, except for the stint on The Mole, which was never meant to be permanent. He has said he always meant to go back to doing news. He still travels and reports now as a news anchor.

  • Andrew

    Eat me

  • October2010

    Hmm, to each his own view.
    Tell my please why heterosexual celebrities’ private lives are covered by the entertainment media (tv, print, radio)?
    I do not have the complete answer. I would suggest that this is so due to our interest in lives other than our own.
    If so, then homosexuals ought to be covered the same way. This way we could arrive at a point in time when gay or straight no longer is an issue to discuss.

    Another observation is that lesbians are braver in the media. See Ellen, Rosie, Wanda, Rachel.

  • Persa

    Has anyone ever provided any proof that Anderson Cooper is in the closet? It just seems unlikely given how openly gay he seems to be in terms of how he lives his life.

    He walks around NYC with men he’s been reportedly dating and isn’t trying to hide it or disguise himself.

    I mean has he ever had a decoy girlfriend or wife? Has he ever said anything in an interview or on tv that would indicate that he wants folks to think he’s straight?

    Has he ever said he’s not gay or claimed to be straight?

    I’ve seen a lot of commentary over the years on gay blogs asking him to come out or accusing him of being a coward, etc but I don’t get where that all comes from.

    I mean, clearly everyone who knows who he is knows that he’s gay since every mention of him seems to talk about it or hint at it.

    There are pictures of him with his boyfriend on holiday, riding bikes in NYC and now this picture from the Oscar party.

    There are photos of him in NY local press all the time and they often refer to the bar owner as his boyfriend.

    Why hasn’t he sued any of this publications (not that I think he should but it just seems like what you’d do if they were spreading lies about you so blatantly)

    Maybe it’s a generational thing, but I don’t get what folks want him to do other than live his life as an out gay man (which is what he seems to be doing by all accounts)

    If his intention is to be closeted then he’s very bad at it.

  • Christian

    @Persa: Yes. Anderson Cooper is hardly in the closet.

    I also agree with Ewe. He, and especially the bf, could use a new barber.

  • MissTransSylvaniaTV

    @mk: Another PR whore for Mr. Cooper, n’est pas?

  • MissTransSylvaniaTV

    @Anne: Girl, u another PR whore for this Anderson queen!

  • MissTransSylvaniaTV

    @Anne: How much does Anderson pay you to defend his cowardice honey?

  • lg

    No. 20: You are ridiculous. How many war journalists do you know? Well, guess what, I know a few who changed their last names on their passports so they could get into Middle Eastern countries. Why because their names screamed Jew. On and on. He doesn’t address the issue in public and as such does more for your cause than anything. I don’t want to hear f-ing any other journalist wax on about their sexuality, their sex life, their political affiliation, etc. If I want that I’ll watch Bill Mahr. And guess what? He’s not a JOURNALIST. Cooper is a journalist. Do you know what that means? Does anyone know what that means? He has a job to do and that’s the focus. He is making his way through life and up the career ladder and it has nothing to do with his sexuality. The man has talent and is probably more of a man than any straight man I know. And you know, I don’t get what parading down a street half naked does for the gay cause any more than I understood “democratic supporters” taking off their clothes to protest the Republican national convention. He has already shown that it doesn’t matter. Ellen shows sexuality doesn’t matter. It’s accepted.

  • lg

    Also Miss Transylvania: I hardly call a man who travels to war torn countries and connects with people no matter what their background a coward. He is doing a service to all people, not just gays. So, sorry, you can’t have him as a figurehead for yourself. Continue to hid out in your chelsea club in your get up with all your friends who are most likely just like you.
    He’s not in the closet by the way. What news anchor gets up there and goes on and on about his personal life. You guys are so dense. You’ve been reading too much of this crap and reading blogs. Pick up a New York Times.

  • Klarth

    @LG (#63), Okay, but how exactly are we ever supposed to make any progress toward acceptance by the majority if they can still believe none of their icons are gay, none of their friends are gay, no relatives, etc.

    What LGBT people really go through seems to be hard for straight people to get unless they know someone who is going through it, or can put faces on the issue. otherwise, it’s just a bunch of sexual deviants and attention-seekers. OTHER people. No one they know or can relate to. That’s why it’s important for us ordinary queers to come out, because then everyone knows someone, and if they care about us, then they have a stake in LGBT rights. And a lot of people care about celebrities.

    I agree with the statements about NPH merely making the best of an awkward and potentially career-ending situation, but even so, he’s at least a role model of biting the bullet and tearing down his own closet, however transparent it was. AC hasn’t done that.

    If it’s so obvious to everyone that a formal outing is unnecessary, that just begs harder the question of why it hasn’t happened. The answer is that the closeted person stands to benefit from ambiguity about his/her orientation. It’s obviously not obvious enough if straight people still think he’s one of them. If that was no longer true, then there’d be no advantage to the glass closet, and presumably he’d topple it, too. But the supposedly unsubtle hints are subtle enough, at least to let straight people pretend they don’t know.

    Remember Rosie’s last daytime show, and the supposed Tom Cruise worship. My mom had a friend who swore Rosie was straight, and had excused for everything, and was in disbelief, and felt tricked when everything came out in the open and the show ended. We thought it was silly, b/c who didn’t know, and we liked the show anyway. (Mom’s hardly PFLAG, but we’re getting there.)
    But this was most people’s reaction.

    Remember Ellen’s sitcom? And how she couldn’t find work forEVER until (ironically?) she took over Rosie’s old time slot.

    You know straight people will assume everyone else is too. Some have to pretzel-bend the world hard to hang on to that facade and do so willingly.
    We have to break that worldview to get anywhere.
    It’s not just the rights of a few weirdos off in SF.
    It’s their friends, family, co-workers, strangers all around them, and yes, even celebrities.

    While I’m not really into PRIDEfests, I get it. That’s one time of year you can’t pretend we don’t exist and sweep us under the rug. And as many, including Dan Savage have pointed out, it’s just the Gay Mardi Gras, and no one complains about Mardi Gras, because even if you’re too settled and normal to partake of it now, you probably did when you were young. It’s like college: ritual, institutionalized normlessness, a transitional period for you to either find your true self or at least sow your wild oats. As someone else posted, most of us don’t live PRIDE all year long. The conservatives just claim that we do.
    It’s not “heteronormative”, it’s just true. Sex isn’t even 10% of most people’s lives, so why would it determine so much of how we live it?
    So, people (us included) need to get off of PRIDEfest-hating and see it for what it is, and just make our own choices about it. It’s not hurting the cause b/c we shouldn’t be judged more harshly than straight people for doing the same stuff. And it may help a little, in forcing the door open a smidge wider every year, as people get used to it, and us. And it certainly makes it easier for the ordinary gays to squeeze through. We should appreciate the Johnny Weir-types of the world. They really are in the trenches, fighting in their own way. Look at all the crap the majority is putting him through.

    Anyway, let me try to get to the point.
    The movement needs heroes.

    Sure, he’s no more obliged to sacrifice his life to the cause than I am, but we both really should, because if everybody thinks somebody (else) will win the fight for them, then nobody will do what anybody could have done (to paraphrase and adapt the original).

    It is a greater risk for a well known person to come out, but NPH and Ellen do show that it can be done in this day and age in such a way that a weakness (in the eyes of the public, as in a chink in the armor) becomes a strength (people respect your honesty, and you get to keep your fan base). And the rewards are greater. I could only affect people around me, but this man is known world-wide.

    And does he really still risk his life to the same extent he used to? And are we really saying no one would attempt to rescue him just because he’s gay? What about those two women who were captured in NKorea? That was some risky business, and someone was able to get them out.

    I’m not saying reporters should ever count on that.
    In fact, I am saying these kind of reporters take life or death risks for every story, and this is something they choose to continue to do.

    Daniel Pearl didn’t die b/c he was married to a multiracial woman. His life would have been in danger regardless of who he was and how he had lived because he was in a terrorist war zone. I don’t see the logic in saying AC would be potentially worse off.

    Maybe there is important work he could do here in the First World as a successful, wealthy gay man with a good head on his shoulders and connections.
    I’m not saying it’s more important, but you have to ask yourself to whom is he more important? In which way is he more unique?
    As a renowned world news reporter or as a powerful gay activist?
    And maybe he wouldn’t have to choose at all.

  • Klarth

    *blush* sorry for the tl;dr. It’s hard to tell how long a post is going to be in these dinky little text boxes.

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