Andrew Sullivan: I Met My Husband At The Black Party

Andrew Sullivan Aaron ToneWe met at 3am, at the Black Party in New York. I’m definitely mellower now than I used to be—And I absolutely know that Aaron’s had that effect on me. He’s made me much more emotionally rigid, calmer.

A straight or a gay person is going to be lying to you if, after ten years of marriage, they say it’s all about having sex, alright?… It is an incredible joy to have someone in your life whom you love and who’s there next to you when you wake up in the morning and you go to bed at night. We always just hold hands before we go to sleep. I love him.”

Columnist Andrew Sullivan, discussing his nine-year relationship with his husband, actor Aaron Tone, to M Magazine’s Erik Maza.

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  • Spike

    What?!!? A pro-Black Party Queerty post??? That’s a first. Queerty must of have finally gotten a couple of comp passes in the mail this year. Wonder how many of them will be crying rape after, spending 2 hours waiting in line, venturing into the backroom/hallway.

  • David

    I met my husband at the Black Party 5 years ago.

  • ibernard

    WTF? I’m a nice guy, easy on the eyes, I scrub up well (as was once said to me), am wise beyond my years, a wise-ass, a great dancer, a good listener, and, also “quite the catch” as I’ve been told by gentlemen otherwise engaged elsewhere themselves. I went to The Saint, back in the days, and I’ve never been to the subsequent raising-of-the-dead Black Parties (I’m actually banned from their YouTube site…what? Do I tell it like it is?) And Andrew Sullivan met his guy at The Black Party? As did David? What the hell! I get looks in coffee shops, bookstores, at concerts, museums etc, and I’m either blind, deaf, or plain old dumb. As a photographer, I’m EXTREMELY approachable, and, to give me back some credit, most of my friends are friends of 10, 15, 20 years…or back to when I was 18 (I’m 52) and are the ones who didn’t succumb to AIDS.

    So I have to go to The Black Party, let someone piss all over me, spend time in a sling and the bathtub, and then meet Mr Right while I wreak of piss and shit?

    Glad I’m content as a single guy. This is a shocker.
    The Black Party. Of ALL places.

    God bless both couples, and I hope a few more come out of this year’s bacchanal.

  • David

    lol ibernard. Yes, I never would have guessed it myself. And to think – we didn’t even hook up that night! Love connections can happen anywhere, I guess. (p.s. I didn’t see any pissing, slings, shit or bathtubs).

  • yaoming

    I guess I don’t know what a Black Party is.

  • pierre

    I moved to NYC in 1980, and I never went to the Saint, or a Black Party. I was more of n Uncle Charlie’s Downtown guy. Probably saved my life being so shy back then.

  • ibernard

    David: you have to look in the darkest of the dark spots. Trust me. I took their 2012 post-Black Party film clip and slowed it down by 2x, and you’d be surprised at what you REALLY see. As a photographer, I can see in the darkest of places, and never miss “a trick” as one might say.

    Good for you and your other half. I’m really (seriously) happy for you!

    Of all places!

  • johnozed

    I lost my boyfriend at the Black Party.

  • Ogre Magi

    Wow, what a couple of ugly old trolls

  • yaoming

    They’re not trolls if they’re not trolling, are they?

  • johnozed

    @yaoming: Funny it takes an ogre to look for trolls that aren’t there.

  • Daniel-Reader

    As long as it keeps him from barebacking the east coast all the more power to ‘m. Just please send him back to England. It is creepy he has ever been considered by any media outlet to be a voice of America’s gay community.

  • jmmartin

    Am I just a cranky bisexual with internalized homophobia or do others note the fact that gay couples seem to look alike? Do gay men gravitate toward guys who look a lot like them? I could swear at times they almost sppear to be twins.

  • mz.sam

    No surprise there. Back in the day when Mr. Sullivan was Randy Andy the cub (then editor for a well-known conservative publication…oh yes) he was already into the leather scene…harness and all. Also made it very well known his enjoyment for barebacking, golden showers, etc. Looks like things haven’t changed much except he has a significant other to scruff-out with.

  • the other Greg

    Is being “much more emotionally rigid” a good thing?

Comments are closed.