BLESS HIS HEART

Antigay Pastor Kevin “I’ll Smear Poop All Over Myself” Swanson Believes He Is God

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Every time antigay Pastor Kevin Swanson opens his mouth the shit just flies — sometimes literally — and his latest rant is no exception.

Last week, Swanson bragged on his radio show about the “amazingly successfully” National Religious Liberties Conference held in Iowa earlier this month, during which he declared he was totally, 100 percent “not kidding” when he said he’d spread poop all over himself if his son ever married another man.

Related: Did This Antigay Pastor Just Admit To Having A Poop Fetish?

“I’d spread it all over my body,” he preached. “That’s what I would do and I’m not kidding! I’m not laughing!”

He also said gay people were covered in “gaping sores” with “smiley faces” carved into them and that they should repent or be sentenced to death, among other things.

After video of that speech went viral, Swanson’s team quickly got to scrubbing the internet of its existence. Luckily, Right Wing Watch was able to obtain a copy for posterity.

On Friday, Swanson finally spoke about the “media firestorm” that followed his truly insane on-camera meltdown, during which he seemed to imply that he is God.

Related: Ted Cruz, Bobby Jindal, Mike Huckabee Will Speak At Conference Whose Host Wants Gays Executed

“Any time the nation has taken up a fight with the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, the Creator of the universe,” he said, “you don’t pick a fight with the Creator of all of the galaxies, all of the planets, this entire solar system!”

He continued: “You don’t pull together a couple of ants and lift a fist to the Almighty and think you can get away with it. This is, I think, the reason why the media firestorm — we have touched the conscience of a nation and they realize they’re in trouble, they’re in trouble with the God of the universe!”

Touched the conscience of a nation? More like the funny bone.

Keep dreaming, Pastor Swanson.

Related: The Best Of The Worst Antigay Video Meltdowns Of 2015 (So Far!)

h/t: Right Wing Watch