TONGUE IN CHEEK

Are Gays To Thank For The Rise Of “Heterosexual Ass Play”?

tumblr_mr0pjy66ec1saxk22o1_400Gays have given straight people many wonderful and useful things: computer science, “Rocket Man” and Good Will Hunting just to name a brief few.

But as we’ve inched out of the closet and onto the pages of those three-page Christmas card updates (“Johnny’s a homosexual now and boy is he handsome”), it appears as though another part of our culture might be seeping out into the straight world.

Maybe “seeping” was a poor word choice. I’m talking of course about ass play.

A few months ago, Maureen O’Connor penned a lengthy and comprehensive piece for NY Mag that busted through the door (poor word choice?) of “heterosexual ass play.”

What is “heterosexual ass play,” you might ask? Exactly what it sounds like — anything ass-related excluding anal sex.

Her theory is that the practice (something our community knows a thing or two about) is on the rise. Or in her words:

“Butt stuff is such a thing.”

Maureen interviews a number of her liquor-lubricated straight friends about “butt stuff,” finding that the taboo of getting intimate with derrieres has evolved from nasty to naughty, or in other words, everybody’s doing it.

One acquaintance tells her:

Surreptitiously licking a dude’s butt during a blowie is like a secret handshake to let him know you’re down for some depraved shit…I’ve never met a man who didn’t like it.”

Except that for gay men, a pinkie up the butt is hardly the calling card of someone who is necessarily “down for some depraved shit.” In some circles that’s first date material.

In fact, the start-to-finish squeamish tone of the article shows that while popular, the trend is reportedly still a new one in the straight world.

Of course, sodomy is nothing new, but isn’t it possible that the ever-expanding straight acceptance of gays has led to some cultural appropriation between the sheets? We aren’t exactly quiet about our more intimate encounters. One of Maureen’s male interviewees reaches the (albeit partially facetious) logical conclusion that, “True masculinity is being a power bottom.”

There’s something to ponder when you’re falling asleep tonight.

There’s even rumors being reported of male celebrities who get down with the dirty. Today Gawker asked this Pulitzer-hungry question — “Does Drake Like to Have His Ass Eaten?” (Their answer? They have no idea. But they’re still asking.)

You can even look to the URL of the NY Mag piece to see just how quickly attitudes are changing. In the URL, there’s evidence that the title of the piece was originally “Beware: Rim Jobs Are On The Rise” but it was edited to the less sensational “Warning: A Column On Butt Play.”

When circuit parties start getting “too straight,” we’ll know we’ve got a problem.

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