Are Jill Scott’s Tweets About Women Marrying Gay Men Homophobic or Innocent Curiousity?

At the close of a week in which she engaged her Twitter followers in a heated conversation about the practicality of open relationships, R&B singer Jill Scott tweeted this observation:

“Just saw a couple on the plane. Somebody tell me why do straight women marry gay men? Break it down.”

Known for being a skilled and thoughtful songwriter, Scott certainly must have had some idea of the  fire she could ignite with her words.

Some of her gay followers were less than thrilled:


But many fans didn’t take offense:

@JuzCallMeKeke wrote “Womans’ intuition is a God given Gift to us women. Some women marry gay men bc they doubt intuition & are blinded by love,” (Scott thought this was a “good answer.”)

@KING_CORY chimed in with “ALL women needs gay friends. If they had gay friends they wouldn’t be in that kind of predicament.” (Scott agreed.)

Scott retweeted some of her favorites, like @MrTemujinScott’s rationale: “and gay men r there 4 women anytime. 4 some women, they’d rather have that than be lonely..just saying!”

She also liked @SlayLawson’s answer “they’re marrying a companion/great friend, that’s more important to some women than sex” and @ebonydiondra’s two-cents’ worth: “I was taught we are attracted to people that are in the same spiritual condition we are.”

And some fans’ reactions were just, well, stupid:

@CubanButterfly4 suggested “Maybe for the 3somes…Just a thought…Lol!!! :-)”

@KAspergersMom told her “maybe it’s like marrying a girlfriend. You can go shopping, hang out, get your nails done…check out cute guys.”

Scott tried to make her love for gays clear in response, telling KAspergersMom: “I adore my fab gay boyfriends and they love me but…they don’t wanna kiss me in the mouth.”

From Scott’s subsequent tweets back to select fans, we learned a few things, including that there’s a lot of gayness up in Scott’s house of worship:

“I see A LOT of that in church. A LOT.”

In response to one fan’s curiosity about how she can identify sexual orientation so easily, Scott told @Bria_SPEAKS:

“ok…Straight men rarely I ever show all their bottom teeth. My gay homies…do it. Especially when comfortable.”

Seriously? That’s a new one to us. Usually we can tell by even more scientific observations like the length of a man’s beard, or the thickness of his fingernails. (Can you hear our eyes rolling, Ms. Scott?) Obviously that sent some of her already irked fans into even more of a tizzy.

But before we stomp on our recently purchased copies of  The Light Of The Sun or burn our tickets to Scott’s Summer Block Party tour, we ask: would the initial question have seemed as homophobic if it had been tweeted by another female celebrity, but one known for her gay advocacy like Kathy Griffin? What about if had been tweeted by a black male instead, someone like Chris Brown, who repeatedly has been called out for using “gay” in a derogatory way in some of his tweets?

It’s certainly a question we’ve all asked ourselves in one form or another—just not to an audience of more than 100,000 Twitter followers.

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  • EdWoody

    The initial tweet wasn’t even vaguely homophobic. She was asking a simple question requesting clarification without judging any of the individuals involved. Some people just really love to see homophobia wherever they go.

    I’ll grant her method of identifying gay men is questionable, but is it any worse than everyone on this site insisting a certain politician’s husband must be gay because he has a lispy voice?

  • Tony

    How was Jill’s question even remotely homophobic??

  • Daine

    Some are just too over-sensitive. I didn’t see anything homophobic about Jill Scott’s tweets. We need to lighten up. This isn’t akin to the type of drivel we hear from the far-right conservatives.

  • jason

    Women marry gay men or gay-leaning men because they know they’re not going to be pestered for sex all the time. Gay men or gay-leaning men marry women because of societal pressure or because they genuinely enjoy the company of the woman. Not all gay men are orgasmists (ie orgasm-centric), and thus it’s not much of a stretch for them to marry women.

    As for Jill Scott’s tweet, it seemed as if she were making a rash observation. How did she know the guy was gay? Just because a guy has a lisp or looks like a flamer, it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s gay.

  • Jessica

    x”“@SlayLawson: @missjillscott they’re marrying a companion/great friend, that’s more important to some women than sex”

    I agree with THIS! They prob don’t want sex at all tho if they marry gay men!

  • christopher di spirito

    OK sweetie, I’ll “break it down” for you.

    Yes, there are many instances of women marrying gay men. Look at Star Jones and her former husband, Big Gay Al Reynolds. Poor star never got any loving because Big Gay Al Reynolds was busy with the boys in the Village and on Fire Island.

    Take Fran Drescher. She married her BFF, manager and the co-creator of “The Nanny,” Peter Jacobson. Fran says they had a “great sex life” but alas, Peter wanted “Peter” and the pair eventually split up.

    Really, this Jill Scott must have grown up under a rock to be so clueless about the world.

  • blake

    How about some women don’t know that they’re marrying gay men because the men lie to them and (sometimes to themselves).

  • Dave

    The bit about bottom teeth may be mild-to-moderately insane, but the initial question isn’t even vaguely homophobic unless you’ve made “be offended” item one on your To Do list.

    The best I can come up with is that people are taking offense that she’s assuming somebody is gay, but, well, that’s stupid. It would be far more homophobic if she just automatically assumed everybody was straight–y’know, “straight-as-the-default”, “othering behavior”, yadda yadda yadda. And we do it all the time, deciding that this or that celebrity is or isn’t gay based on their appearance or their behavior or the vague tingling of our big gay Spider-Sense, so it seems kind of unfair to gasp and clutch our pearls when a straight woman does the same thing.

    Would it be clearer to make a nice bright distinction between actual orientation and perceived orientation? Sure. But it doesn’t happen that way in the real world with any characteristic. We make determinations about people’s race, gender, orientation, religion, education, politics, age, and so on every day. Sometimes we’re right. Sometimes we’re wrong. But there’s nothing inherently wrong about having a perception.

    Now, clinging to that perception when we’ve been told otherwise–that’s wrong. Expecting the stereotypes we use to form such perceptions to be right 100% of the time–that there will never be false positives or false negatives–that’s also wrong. Not realizing that some of the stereotypes we use to make such determinations are founded more in bias and bigotry than in reality, and may not carry much (if any) diagnostic weight–that’s wrong, too. But merely guessing somebody’s characteristics based on the information we have available? Not so much.

  • JettStone

    I think it’s a fat chick thing. Why do fat chicks like Gay guys? Are gay guys fattening?

  • blake

    And, anyone who thought Scott’s tweet was homophobic is either closed-minded, overly sensitive, or maybe traumatized.

  • mattsy

    She should ask Michelle Bachmann that question ASAP!!

  • RomanHans

    Sigh. Sadly, Ms. Scott is just stupid. She means well, but clearly she’s confused “effeminate” with “homosexual.” Which places her mental age somewhere around eighth grade in my book.

  • Codswallop

    Christ! If you think her original ‘tweet’ (god I hate that word) was homophobic you need to get out more. It’s still a mystery to me, especially anyone who marries an “ex-gay.” Why would you want to marry someone for whom it took the threat of eternal hellfire and damnation to make them choose you?!

    “I’d like you to meet my fiancee. He’d really rather be with another man but luckily he’s such an epic goddamn pussy we were able to scare him into forcing himself to marry me instead! Isn’t that GREAT?! I feel like the luckiest girl in the world!”

  • Kim

    @RomanHans:Yeah right because most(not all) effeminate men are not gay GMAFB.Jill always travels with her gay make up artist maybe his gaydar went off and he told her the man on the plane was gay. Is it stupid when gay men claim they have gaydar is it stupid when gay men use terms like gay face ?

  • Cinesnatch

    So your post answers your title’s question: innocent curiosity.

    Why does queerty fan the flames of false alarms?

    Because they’re jack-holes or … ? Oh, wait, there is no other answer.

  • JayKay

    The initial tweet wasn’t homophobic at all, I’ve wondered that same thing on many occasions.

    But what bugged me was the “Oh I love gay guys!” stuff. Any time I hear a woman saying how much she loves gay men, I always want to say “no you don’t, you jackass. You love the faaaaaabulous cartoon caricatures you think gay men are supposed to be.”

  • Kahari

    I was one of thousands of followers who tweeted Miss Scott in reply to both questions. The first question was simply innocent, to understand what would cause a woman to ignore the tell-tale signs that the man she is madly in love with, is gay. As an openly gay male, I didn’t feel offended by that. It was during a tweet that someone asked Jill how exactly would she identify a man who is gay. Her reply was too bold and foolish for someone of her intellectual upbringing. —> “ok…Straight men rarely I ever show all their bottom teeth. My gay homies…do it. Especially when comfortable.” That’s when that one tweet was instantaneously retweeted and sent Gay Twitter into an uproar. Read my thoughts and tweets here —>: http://www.twitlonger.com/show/c8s9a5 Facial expressions can not depict someone’s sexuality. Certainly not a mere smile. I could suggest physical cues and simple body language, but a smile. Really? I don’t know if it was a simple brain fart or if Jill wanted to stir attention in her direction, but whatever it is, celebs have to remain aware of what they say.

  • Dallas David

    My boss in the military married a woman friend, not for romance, but to help cover up his being gay. She had known for years that he was gay, so they both knew there wasn’t going to be any sex. But they were good friends, and he had just survived an investigation on base for gays (the old witch-hunt), so he needed a wife, and she was willing to pose, so it worked out ok.

    One of the base chaplains was a flaming queen, and he was married to a woman who had no clue about anything. Meanwhile, he was out doing the restroom thing (he was a Republican, too, as well as Church of Christ — very fundamentalist).

    Happens a lot, especially in the upper-income Republican suburbs. Some guys gotta do it to qualify for a big inheritance, some guys do it just to keep peace in the family. From what I’ve seen here in Texas, the more conservative the woman is, the less likely she is to know that her husband is gay.
    lol . . .

  • bobp

    Bottom teeth??!! She’s a regular Sherlock Holmes.


    @ Miss Queerty. U Stupid as Fuk.. Carry on..

  • xander

    A better question might have been why so many women *unknowingly* marry gay men…
    ‘d thought I’d heard everything possible about gaydar until the “bottom teeth” line. Now I’m gonna have to look to see if her theory holds water.

  • Cinesnatch

    Bottom teeth … can’t defend her, but sounds like she’s making a generalization that the gay men she knows are more willing to express themselves emotionally (i.e. happiness) verses her straight friends.

    I know, super-homophobic, right?

    Or, maybe I misinterpreted.

  • Paul Betencourt

    How does Jill know this guy is even gay? Unless she saw him hooked up with another man, it’s simple speculation. THAT is why Jill’s rant is homophobic.

  • Mikey

    If Jill had so many gay friends… why didn’t she just ask them? I don’t think she is a homophobe, but I definately think she opened the door for homophobic comments. She also opened the door for sexist comments. If Miss Jill and all her mighty intelligence can spot his gayness from afar, why not the woman who lives and loves this man? It makes women victims and not responsible for their own choices. Women have been marrying homos for centuries. They have their reasons and they do so with full knowledge. It is none of our business, nor is it Miss Jill’s to throw to the wolves.

  • eva

    I married a gay man

Comments are closed.