Everyone lies. You lie about your hair color by removing the gray. You lie about your height by wearing boots and heels. You lie about your complexion by caking on the makeup. And you men out there lie about your package by donning briefs that lift your junk and put it on display in ways nature never intended. It feels like no underwear line aimed at The Gs goes without this function, turning men’s briefs into the Wonderbra for men. But once those briefs come off, will sexual partners of these dudes be less forgiving than those who remove a Wonderbra and see a gal’s breasts aren’t the perfect fruit-shaped adornments originally advertised?
Lines including HOM, Andrew Christian, Cocksox, and yes, even something called Ballbra offer an extra lift to customers. But “once [these types of] underwear hit the floor,” argues straight lady site Twirlit, “women will be less forgiving than a man is when a Wonderbra comes off. When the Wonderbra comes off, a man will be excited to have some fun with your bouncing pair. But when the [lifting underwear] hit the floor, a woman will have difficulty hiding her disappointment and that catchy tune from Gillette will be playing in her mind while she decides whether to engage in pity sex with you.”
So you tell us, for those who can attest to seeing either type of undergarment drop off: Are junk-lifting men’s underwear too deceiving to be trusted? Or have we come to expect that men, just like women wearing bras to keep their offerings looking more profound, will be enhancing their goods in the locker room parade, and things will always appear different sans fabric?