Everyone lies. You lie about your hair color by removing the gray. You lie about your height by wearing boots and heels. You lie about your complexion by caking on the makeup. And you men out there lie about your package by donning briefs that lift your junk and put it on display in ways nature never intended. It feels like no underwear line aimed at The Gs goes without this function, turning men’s briefs into the Wonderbra for men. But once those briefs come off, will sexual partners of these dudes be less forgiving than those who remove a Wonderbra and see a gal’s breasts aren’t the perfect fruit-shaped adornments originally advertised?
Lines including HOM, Andrew Christian, Cocksox, and yes, even something called Ballbra offer an extra lift to customers. But “once [these types of] underwear hit the floor,” argues straight lady site Twirlit, “women will be less forgiving than a man is when a Wonderbra comes off. When the Wonderbra comes off, a man will be excited to have some fun with your bouncing pair. But when the [lifting underwear] hit the floor, a woman will have difficulty hiding her disappointment and that catchy tune from Gillette will be playing in her mind while she decides whether to engage in pity sex with you.”
So you tell us, for those who can attest to seeing either type of undergarment drop off: Are junk-lifting men’s underwear too deceiving to be trusted? Or have we come to expect that men, just like women wearing bras to keep their offerings looking more profound, will be enhancing their goods in the locker room parade, and things will always appear different sans fabric?
terrwill
You want to piss off a partner?? Put these psudo peen panties on………Once the action starts there ain’t no way to change the appearance of what is at (or in) hand……….And regardless there is no way to see exactaly what is truly inside the package untill things really get growing……..the “grower not shower” guys can attest to that…..I once dated a guy who was hung like a 9yr old when mr.softee was in the bed. Once he got growing it was like Mr Huge suddenly appeared…….. :-O
Chris
This is the silliest thing I’ve ever read. As Terrwill noted, it really doesn’t matter what things look like until the man is excited.
If a straight woman wants to be upset after he’s erect, that’s fine, but if she’s ready to bail before that after his undies come off, then she really doesn’t have that much experience with men, now does she?
Twirlit fail.
romeo
The way these work (I have a few pair) it doesn’t so much misrepresent as put it out there for display. My problem is they dig and can give you a nice heat rash.
Brian
Yeah I’ve got a pair and it more just avidly displays what you’ve got. Although I suppose some do come with padding if you want to augment what you’ve got. I’m happy with what I’ve got đ
romeo
Padding WOULD be misrepresentation. Dumb considering the moment of truth is gonna come. LOL
The Artist
Why is this even reported?
AlwaysGay
I always liked my junk to be up and in front. It’s the most comfortable position for me. I don’t like my junk rubbing against my legs. I don’t mind other men with junk-lifting underwear either.
NAP79
I’m gonna go with ALWAYSGAY on this one, I’d like my junk up and in front. As a 30 yo who hasn’t worn underwear since high school b/c I couldn’t find a fit I liked, I recently ordered a few pairs of these to give them a shot. The “enhancement” might just be a result of positioning that some guys find more comfortable. Now if they can just cure sweaty balls in those tight undies.
dontblamemeivotedforhillary
Anything that pushes organs in the wrong direction is a health hazard. Remember, Low-rise jeans that led to hospitalizations? Even if you don’t have that much junk in the trunk, better to stick with what’s comfortable already whether it be briefs, boxers or commando. That particular design will fall apart after several wash cycles and cotton breathes better than lycra (for those who live in warmer climates, this is important!)
@NAP79, you are such the failed Sales Whore and is that you in the advertising, too?
B
No. 5 ¡ romeo wrote, “Padding WOULD be misrepresentation. Dumb considering the moment of truth is gonna come. LOL” … I’ve seen the Andrew Christian ones in stores, and they are not so much padded as using elastics to lift the ‘package’ a bit.
I’m not sure if these are a good idea for the manufacturer – people might end up associating “Andrew Christian” with “underwear for people with small packages” even though only some Andrew Christian designs are “package enhancers”.