PERVERTED SPIES

Are NSA Workers Masturbating To Your Nudie Pics? Snowden Says So!

hunk-2cb0d10c2cb5690a762d2dac850400e2_hOh, great. First we had to deal with the perverts at TSA taking x-rays of us through our clothing. Now we have to worry about the NSA drooling over our nudie pics?! Is there no privacy left in the United States of America?!?

The Guardian just posted a disturbing 14-minute preview of an upcoming interview with Edward Snowden in which the sexy whistleblower confirms everyone’s worst fears about their government: NSA workers have been snooping through your nude selfies and X-rated photos. Looking at them, gawking at them, sharing them, maybe even masturbating to them.

“You’ve got young enlisted guys, 18 to 22. They’ve suddenly thrust into a position of extraordinary responsibility, where they now have access to all of your private records,” Snowden says in the interview. “Now, in the course of their daily work, they stumble across something that is completely unrelated to their work in any sort of necessary sense. For example: an intimate nude photo of someone in a sexually compromising situation, but they’re extremely attractive. So what do they do? They turn around in their chair, and they show their coworker.”

He continues: “And their coworker says, ‘Oh, hey, that’s great. Send that to Bill down the way!’ And then Bill sends it to George, George sends it to Tom, and sooner or later, this person’s whole life has been seen by all of these other people. It’s never reported. Nobody ever knows about it, because the auditing of these systems is incredibly weak.”

When asked to clarify how often he saw this sort of thing happen, Snowden replied, nonchalantly: “It’s routine enough. Depending on sort of the company you keep, it could be more or less frequent. But these are seen as sort of the fringe benefits of surveillance positions.”

People of the NSA, if you’re reading (and you probably are), all you had to do was ask. Our naughty photos are readily available for public consumption on apps like Grindr and SCRUFF. But sneaking a peek without us knowing? That’s just rude.

In other news: Polaroid camera sales, once on the brink of extinction, have skyrocketed.

Don't forget to share:

Help make sure LGBTQ+ stories are being told...

We can't rely on mainstream media to tell our stories. That's why we don't lock Queerty articles behind a paywall. Will you support our mission with a contribution today?

Cancel anytime · Proudly LGBTQ+ owned and operated