We’ve asked online comedian, voice actor and chest hair model Sam Kalidi to create a comedic post each week for Queerty readers. This week he thinks about people who crawl back in the closet when visiting parents during the holidays. Sam looks forward to all your hate mail.You can find him on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and at your local glory hole.
Phillip Bernal
Yes they are, and that is why I no longer spend time with them. just because they are family does not mean we have to like them…
Xzamilio
Not stressful for me anymore, now that I’m out and unashamed. Whenever one of my relatives tell me that they feel that homosexuality is wrong, I now tell them, “That’s your problem, not mine.”
John Malin
Not for me, I don’t live anywhere near family and my cat loves me no matter what!
Glücklich
Mine isn’t or if they are they keep it to themselves. But I only interact with my parents and they’re fine. The rest of ’em…stop asking me for shit.
@Xzamilio:
Excellent.
Glücklich
The other thing is my parents, esp my mother (god my poor mother!), grew up in families where they were guilt-tripped to death into spending every holiday nailed together. So I wasn’t raised that way. Holidays are very hands-off, do what you want.
Jesse Cerna
Ive never been in that situation and dont want to say I’ve been lucky cus dont want to make anyone feel less than me .but to what ive seen or heard stories yep… It can be.i do think if you surround yourself with friends and i dont mean Oh look at my club or online over 3 thou.friends…cus really who are you joking?but just surround yourself with a few people you can actually call true friends and if they are into the spirit celebrate with em.
Giancarlo85
How nice. I love how some Christians show such love for their family members during the holidays… Putting their delusional beliefs over family. That really is some holiday spirit.
And I am glad this wasn’t a whisper article. I was almost expecting that.
Gary Hecklinger
Of course Helloooooo
Mark Mencio
Holidays are stressful period. Family is often defined as a group of people you would not want to know but are related to them. It is not about self.
Masc Pride
Okay, that one was actually pretty funny. Kalidi finally nailed one.
I’m pretty lucky to have very supportive parents. They would support me through a gang bang if I decided to do one. My oldest brother has always been the problem, but it goes way beyond homophobia. My dad always gets a huge bottle of Dewar’s when he knows we’re all going to be in the same house. Helps us all.
JerseyMike
Never had a problem with my family. Southern black people. Spend the holiday with them every year when I can get away.
Glücklich
@Masc Pride:
Hell I get a huge bottle of Dewar’s when I know I’m going to be awake.
(Reaches into bottom desk drawer…)
onthemark
With this one, maybe I’m in a happy minority (?). My last few visits to family have been all right. Everyone thinks Trump is ridiculous, and everyone hates Ted Cruz even more. Everyone who was a more-or-less content Republican voter in, say, the year 2000, seems to have felt driven out of the fold. Often the trigger was W’s pointless war in Iraq, or McCain’s disastrous choice of Sarah Palin in 2008. As for any specifically “gay” stuff, luckily my boyfriend is such a pleasant charmer that he won everyone over, and even when he doesn’t join me on a visit everyone asks about him.
But it probably helps that my father died a long time ago. Thank “god” for cigarettes… BWA HA HA!
RIGay
No, they are more stressful because my family are just self-absorbed assholes in general.
Kangol
Is the Pope Catholic?
Is Rome in Italy?
Is yes in English spelled y-e-s?
corey
I don’t spend time with ‘blood-relatives’. I gave them enough chances to want to be part of my life, which they never did seem interested. So I stopped talking to them, this includes one gay Uncle and his partner, who have been together at least fifty years. I spend time with a lesbian couple, a single bi-sexual encounter female, and a few others that may feel the holiday spirit and don’t want to be alone. I do call these people my family. They are what a family, in my opinion, should be. It hasn’t always been happy times over the years either, but when you have relationships that are worth the time and energy to invest in, they are truly a blessing. I didn’t find that with my blood-family, and get a bit irked when people ask me “Why?”, when in conversation, when they ask about holidays, and I tell them I don’t talk to my family, and haven’t for almost half my life, at this point. It’s as if they mourn for me, for something I never had. I guess it would be easier to understand if my whole family was in a cult or were murderers, or both. That way, people could see, that it is dangerous for me to spend time with my family. I am at the point now, when I can appreciate people who do have family, I appreciate what they have, know how lucky they are. It does sadden me still, very little at this point, that I don’t communicate with my family, they live less than an hour away, and we do have mutual friends, so I hear what they are doing once in a while. But life is life, and we have to learn to do what’s best for ourselves, not those who do not offer anything to you, when you have been willing and able to do so for them.
McShane
My In-Laws are almost all Hells Angels. So, add a dash of super blatant racism.
Anyone remember the first scene from, 2001: A Space Odyssey – The Dawn of Man.
Yeah, that’s pretty much it. The only difference is that the monolith is replaced with cheap vodka, and the tool/bone is a clove-studded Christmas ham.
Glücklich
@McShane:
HALLELUJA YOU’RE STILL WITH US! IT’S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!
Shit, I thought you’d moved on to a better site! Welcome back!
McShane
@Glücklich: Thank you. Life has just been brutal. We had to take my brother in-laws son away from him, so he can get the help he needs. The way that family works, if you can call it that, is that my husband is the oldest and if he’s not available to take care of a problem, I’m the second oldest so I had to pay my brother in-law a visit. I offered to pay for rehab, but he refused. The only way we could make that whole situation work with our weird work schedules was to move my mother in-law in with us. So she can help us with the baby. I have no fucking clue what to do with a baby, and my husband can be on business trips for weeks at a time. Thank FUCK his mom and I get along really well. Otherwise… what a nightmare that would of been.
I had a bit of a freak out over the reality of it all, so I took a vacation. I had always wanted to go to Nova Scotia, so I just did it. I did one of those photo excursions which was an absolute blast. I rented a tiny one room cabin on the beach, and just sat around for a week. I needed that more than I realized.
Enough about me, how are you doing? How’s work? How’s Mr. Glucklich? Oh, I found this for you ages ago but it got lost in the bookmarks. Hope all the links still work. Merry Christmas, XOXO.
http://www.factmag.com/2010/01/26/20-best-minimal-wave/
Glücklich
@McShane:
Wow! Stepping up to the plate in a way I know I couldn’t. That’s admirable and definitely deserving of at least a week’s vacation.
Thanks for the article. What a coincidence: The author, Veronica, is a friend.
Thanks as well for asking after Mr. Glücklich. He’s as well as ever, painting and sleeping and continuing to charm and enchant me.
And work is work. No promotion this year – wasn’t expecting one anyway – but got my full bonus plus 25% and a raise so can’t complain about the golden handcuffs.
When you’ve got time, make your presence known around the site. I’d expressed some concern a while back and I know Xzamillio wondered what was up, too.
Glad to hear you’re OK and looking forward to crossing paths on here again!