Big Spoon

Are the Republicans Becoming More Cuddly?

Surprise, surprise! The fall-out from Foley’s fuck-up continues to get front page placement (not that we’re complaining; we’re eating this shit with a spoon). Sunday’s edition of The New York Times featured this article in which Mark Leibovich attempts to shed more light on the life of gay Republicans in Washington.

The article doesn’t really bring anything new to the table, going on and on about how gay Republicans walk a thin-line with regard to their sexuality, the subtle ways things have improved over the past few years, and why they often have to support anti-gay policies as they work for their respective public servants. Example:

For many [gay Republicans] in political Washington, reconciling their private lives and public roles has required a discreet existence. But in the last week, the Mark Foley scandal has upset that careful balance.

Pretty straight forward, no? Well, to make matters in this uneasy enviornment worse, the circulation of the so-called gay Republican list continues to raise heart rates and eyebrows. While other homo-journos claim to have the list, no one wants to publish it. Well, rest assured that if we get our hands on it, we will publish it, albeit with a clever note to eschew any legal action.

But, things could be worse on Capitol Hill, says Leibovich:

In contract to what many view as the right’s increasingly antigay rhetoric, members of both parties say there has been a growing tolerance for gay men and lesbians within the Republican ranks.
“There’s been a change from 20 years ago when epople sued to be hyperconscious of staying in the closet,” said Steven Elmendorf, an openly gay Democratic strategist… “Now there’s more of an evolution to a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ rule.”

Yeah, sure sounds like it, especially when considering the case of Robert Traynham, the gay chap who works for that dick head, Rick Santorum (R-PA). In case you don’t know, old Rickie boy (who we’ve always assumed ain’t nothing but a big gay wad) really hates gay people. Like, really, really hates them. He hates them so much, in fact, that he once likened homosexuality to besitality, incest, and some other distasteful morsels. When Traynham got publicly outed, Mr. Santorum swallowed his hate and came out to support him. That warms the cockles of our hearts, while also making us want to puke – we’ll take straight up homophobia over two-faced homophobia anyday.

Despite this “new and improved” Republican party, other GOPs aren’t taking any chances, especially as Kirk Fordham – the homo who lists aiding Foley as one of his many roles on Capitol Hill – steps before the House Ethics Committee to testify that he told Speaker Dennis “Hasturd” Hastert about Foley’s crude correspondence in 2003, two years before Hastert claims to have heard about the emails and messages that led to Foley’s congressional departure.

A spoon, we say…a spoon.