Are You On The “Gay” List?

We were just paying a visit to our super crush Kenneth Hill‘s website, The Gayest Editor Ever and came across a somewhat disconcerting post entitled, “50 Gayest Things of All Time”. At first we thought Hill had compiled a list of his favorite things. Boy were we wrong. The list comes from a website called The Phat Phree.

Alongside the list of “gay things”, the chaps have included the so-called “The 50 Things That Make You Feel Like A Man”. So, what makes them feel like men? Well, in addition to what you see above (thanks for the image, Mr. Hill), they include “Driving driving drunk to work, hurting someone by accident, killing an animal and getting a blowjob.” Manly things, right? So, what’s gay? Aside from what you see above, “Loving your father, safe sex, wearing a scarf, eye contact and handjobs”.

Rest assured, however, the boys don’t mean to offend. They offer a preemptive explanation:

Before anyone gets their rectum puckered, nobody around here hates homosexuals. We love gay people- well not love, but we don’t dislike them any more than we dislike everyone else.

Besides, homosexuality is not at all what this list is about. Whether you smoke pole or munch rug, we all know that some things are just plain gay. If there were a better word, we’d use it. We are writers after all.

Oh, yes, Pulitzer quality, even.

While were not necessarily offended, we do think they could have found another word. Although, if we are forced to adopt their terminology, yes, handjobs are “gay”. Seriously, who really gives a handjob?

(Note: may we suggest next time the kids want to compile such a list, they choose a less provocative word? Perhaps it can be called “Things That Are Douchey”? Then they can include themselves.)