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Are You Sending The Wrong Messages With Your Hook-Up Texts?

Even though he’s straight, comedy writer Sam Greenspan knows a lot about using the internet to have cheap but gratifying sex with strangers. In fact, he’s written a book about it called 11 Points Guide to Hooking Up. It hit stores this week and to tease your eyeholes into buying it, he’s provided a sneak peek at some very helpful punctuation tips when using Grindr, Adam4Adam, PlentyOfFish, or whatever cyber-slut hook-up site you’re using these days.

Short version: only uptight prigs use semicolons or brackets; too many exclamation marks, question marks, and emoticons make you look desperate; and ellipses, tildes, and asterisked footnotes can make you seem damned sexy.

You can thank us by screaming “Queerty!” when you climax.

On:           Jun 9, 2011
Tagged: , ,
    • hyhybt

      You can thank us by screaming “Queerty!” when you climax.

      Only if you want to *guarantee* there will never be another climax with the same person.

      Jun 9, 2011 at 2:14 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DNK

      Semicolons are awesome; I use them all the time!

      Jun 9, 2011 at 3:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • paul f

      If I’ve had major surgery involving a partial ileostomy and bowel resectioning, does that that mean I HAVE a semicolon? Does that also mean DNK gets to use me any time? Enquiring minds would like to know. :)

      Jun 10, 2011 at 2:32 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jeffree

      Sorry guys, but we simultaneously scream “Pam’s House Blend!” when we’re at the O-tastic point. “Bilerico” just doesn’t have the right consonants, and we’re not sure how to pronounce “Towleroad”.

      Don’t take it personally. This is still the go to blog for reading.

      Jun 10, 2011 at 2:45 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hyhybt

      I believe it’s pronounced “toll road.” Though shouting that during sex could leave the impression that you’re a prostitute.

      Jun 15, 2011 at 3:31 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jeffree

      @hyhybt: Good one! I’d prefer not to be mistaken for one of those hookahs!

      Lately we’ve been reading more international press, so in the throes of the O’s we yell “Yagg!*” or “Libération”!

      We stopped using “Lez Get Real” as our safe word because it turns out it was run by a str8 dude. Thats a thought that somehow just ruins the moment.

      [*lgbt french blog]

      Jun 15, 2011 at 4:15 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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