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This profile is part of Queerty’s 2021 Out For Good series, recognizing public figures who’ve had the courage to come out and make a difference in the past year, in celebration of National Coming Out Day on October 11.
Name: Hugh Sheridan, 36
Bio: An Australian actor, Sheridan is best known for playing Ben Rafter on the Aussie comedy-drama series Packed to the Rafters, which aired on Seven Network between 2008 and 2013, and the sequel series Back to the Rafters, which just debuted on Amazon Prime Video. Sheridan is also a musician and deejayed the HUGHMAN dance party at the 2021 Brisbane Festival in mid-September.
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Coming out: A year ago, Sheridan revealed they’d had relationships with men and women, adding that “everyone is on the smorgasbord” with their sexuality. And this June, Sheridan told Instagram followers that they are nonbinary but otherwise reject labels. (Sheridan didn’t specify pronouns in that post, but The Daily Mail reports the actor uses “they/them.”)
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“I don’t accept a label cause it limits me,” they wrote in an Instagram post. “If you want it; take it. I chose zero labels for no other reason except the exclusion, limitations, separation, I believe are all one, deep down. And who knows? Why chose?! Be you. Be true. Be free: to be, to just be… you, a human, same as me.”
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Chosen family: In their October 2020 essay for the magazine Stellar, Sheridan said that “no one ever sticks up for people who don’t pick a label.”
That’s changing now, though, thanks to Hugh’s outspokenness. “I just want to be human,” they said in a recent DNA Magazine cover story. “I understand labels are important for so many people. I’m just saying for me, I wanted my label to be ‘human.’”
In that cover story, which featured steamy photos of them with fiancé Kurt Roberts, Hugh observed that a certain acronym is due for an upgrade: “I’m always going to be part of the gay community, but at the same time I just wish they’d add an ‘H’ onto the end of the LGBTQIA+. … The point is, we’re all human and, in my case, labelling put me into a box that felt like a cell.”
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Those who came out to make a difference
Donston
Honestly, Hugh sounds like an airhead. Non-binary/them-they/bisexual, these are labels. If you want to detach yourself from being seen as “gay” or explain that you feel “culturally gay” but have a lot of dimensions, that’s fine. But don’t try to pretend as if “gay” is the only label. All these different descriptors are “labels”. You can’t hype up using five or six different “labels” but then talk about how you don’t believe in labels. Honestly, all you have to do is say that you’re “queer” and keep it pushing.
Yes, we do need to evolve past the hyper dependence on identities and the obsession with categorizing people. Goodness knows we need to evolve from that. But I really wish more of these entertainers would take the time to understand why different people use different identities and truly educate themselves on the dimensions of sexuality, gender/sexual fluidity, preferences and the gender, sexual, affection, romantic, emotional investment, commitment spectrum. Due to insecurities and a lack of education, so many of these people just end up saying a bunch of shallow, cliched, sometimes problematic prattle.
Joshooeerr
You got in one. Sheridan is an airhead. And all his schtick about not liking labels is really just an awkward and obvious cover for the fact he was closeted for the longest time, and desperately deflecting media hints and speculation that he was gay, for fear of it denting his romantic lead status. Now he’s seizing on every woke aspect of non-binary identity and flexible pronouns, etc. in the mistaken belief that it makes him look like it was a long and torturous road to owning “his truth” (pause for retching). In truth, he was just another ‘fraidy cat gay kid who thought he could enjoy the benefits of passing for straight rather than have the guts to be out and proud before he was more-or-less forced to own it by mounting media and public incredulity.
Donston
There is definitely a good percentage of people who make everything about categories, trying to force everyone into categories and trying to fit in or out of certain categories. And there’s definitely many people who still don’t understand how varied and vast sexuality is, still don’t understand stuff like fluidity or contradictions or the many aspects of gender and orientation. There’s many people who don’t truly sympathize with different folks’ internalized and external struggles and circumstances. We do need to talk openly and honestly about all of that. Because too many folks (including in this comment section) are a-holes who don’t get shit about shit. But Hugh is just not qualified to speak on the subject. It’s apparent that they’re too driven by resentments, ego and image.
dhmonarch89
Another letter… let’s just drop it all and become ‘Alphabet Soup’. So, human is an actor- I’m sure the resume has some labels on it- like- actor, dancer, singer, etc.
nm4047
googles parent company would follow apple and ‘copyright’ any thing named alphabet. 🙂
skeldare
There’s already too many letters
stonercharles
AMEN!!!
barryaksarben
Bullshit. If it takes the whole fking alphabet – so what. If it helps people I am all for it. WAY too many old white gay guys acting all judgey. Just stop. What we went thru was horrible but many of us did it knowing that the next generation would be a little freer so now they are so I rejoice. Yes, I wish it had happened sooner and yes I am sad it hasnt gotten further but I am happy for whatever progress is made. We need to be the elders we didnt have because of AIDS and SUPPORT these next generations but we dont get to decide how they get to where-ever they are going
moretruth
Barryaksarben Both racist AND ageist. Nice.
deann
Hughs: “I am always going to be part of the gay community……..but I am NOT
GAY.”, lol!
Man About Town
“And who knows? Why chose?!” Well, at least it rhymes…
BrownFriedRice
Every queer person is human, but not all humans are queer. This is stupid.
stonercharles
yes it is VERY stoopid
Donston
To give some greater insight: this interview was given a few months after Hugh had been fired from a play. In that play they were meant to portray a trans male. So, coming out as non-binary and backing it up with this little rant honestly felt like sour grapes. Pretty much saying: “I identify as non-binary and we’re all human at the end of the day, therefore, I should have been able to play that role”. The speech already rang a bit bitter, shallow and misguided. But with this knowledge it especially seems like Hugh is just mad that they didn’t get a particular role, rather than being someone who is trying to promote the idea that everyone has their own dimensions, preferences, struggles, loves, journeys, etc. These actors are forever driven by their image, ego and their career above all else.
barryaksarben
You must know him very well. you are the one who sounds incredibly bitter. Look in the mirror girl
Cam
Hugh has been struggling with his identity for a while and seems desperate to say anything that will keep him from using the words gay or bi. Him avoiding labels is what he did his whole life, he’s just now doing it from the opposite direction. Additionally he was pulled out of a play where he was to play someone trans and this was his response. His publicist definitely could have written a better response.
Max
no more letters, please.
Bengali
The extreme number of letters added is getting to sound ridiculous. I with they’d just stick with LGBTQO(ther) – most of us drop most of the letters anyway.
lather
Hmmm… what I come away with from this article is he’s sexy as all get out in these pics.
barryaksarben
I am glad you did as it is better than all these attacks on this guy. Yeah he is struggling, yeah he is an actor so is afraid of losing roles as it is his livelyhood, yes, he didnt make alot of sense. BUT he is human and he is or should be allowed to struggle. All these comments must be from men who never struggled and are all highly successful and happy in their personal lives.
jaimedance3
I don’t like the labels either! In fact that’s what I tell the Str8 guys I hook up with! If you just drop the labels you’ll be fine! They do and we have a great time that lasts for an hour and sometimes more! But, if they need the labels then go back to just LGBT! I mean really has anyone ever said that they are any of those other ridiculous letters?? I have never heard anybody use them!
DennisMpls
The ever-growing surfeit of letters in the acronym is why my personal preference is to use “queer” to represent the entire community we’re talking about. I know there are some who hate that word, but even though it was a slur when I was growing up, I now love it, and feel it is broad enough to represent everyone who feels separate from the traditional “norm.” And then within that big group we can use whatever sub-labels – such as I do with “gay” – that we want.
Having said that, I don’t have strong negative feelings about the acronym, though I’d prefer leaving it at LGBTQ+. As Donston is always saying, there is a huge spectrum of identities for both sexuality and gender.
Donston
The identity/label system has always been deeply flawed and has only gotten more flawed with time. First, anyone can identify as whatever they want for whatever reasons. These words no longer have much of any real definition. You also never know what motivates people’s identities and presentation. While there are some folks who will never be comfortable embracing any identity. And you never know what type of future fluidity or shifts you or someone else may experience.
I have also gotten to the point of preferring seeing people use “queer” as an all-encompassing term and then people perhaps explaining their dimensions, preferences, journeys, where they are in the gender, sexual, affection, comfort, emotional investment, commitment spectrum beyond that. That way of looking at things will help us avoid contradictory, insecure and almost problematic views being expressed like Hugh’s.
nm4047
Christ, most gays struggle to embrace lesbians let alone ‘identify’ with bi, trans, etc, etc. If someone wants to identify as something non gender, find a better defining pro noun, they in legal referencing is used to refer to the one previously mentioned or implied, especially as a substitute for generic he
Donston
@ barryaksarben
I didn’t know who this actor was. So, I looked them up. And the info about the play was one of the first things that popped up.
Hugh seems like someone who’s struggled with identity and ego and has potentially struggled with some traumas and some gender/sexual/orientation fluidity and contradictions. I relate to that. However, when someone speaks on this subject they need to make sure that they’re informed and also very careful. This interview ended up coming off more anti-gay and self-congratulatory than it came off like someone preaching about personal freedom and wanting folks to understand how vast and individual people are. When you talk about this subject, you also need to remember that homophobia (male homophobia in particular), hetero pressures, internalized phobias, self-misandry, queer insecurities, gay shame, masculine fragility are still widespread things, even among many out queers.
Yes, let’s talk about the complexity and individuality of sexuality and gender and love and commitment. Let’s talk about there being too much dependence on labels. But a lot of these entertainers (and people in general) need to check their insecurities and resentments and image building at the door and need to make sure that they’re informed and sensitive before bracing such a topic. Instead, Hugh just threw a bunch of cliches, contradictions and semi problematic views out there and thought they were saying something subversive, clever and insightful.
Invader7
Enough with the pronouns and letters after Glbtq…. !!! It’s too much and frankly out of hand.
Donston
People really need to stop reading into my posts what they want to read into them. If you can’t comprehend what I’m saying and where I’m coming from then please don’t respond. A lot of people here really don’t know how to engage a complicated, nuanced topic.
barryaksarben
Oh Please! now one can understand your posts because they are so deep.HA Like I have said not everyone has the same journey and to punch at someone who you think isnt taking the journey YOU think they should! Have you been pout and proud your whole llfe and never never made a mistake? ALl these judgy old white entitled guys and NO that isnt agesit or racist as I am a old white guy and I have been around enough men our age who have become so bitter to the next generation that I am ill from it. I said how proud I am of us and the horrible times we went thru but we cant then because of it demean and attack younger gays as they have had a different journey. OFFER SUPPORT and ADVICE and that is what I was doing to my peers- not to take the road of bitterness and be the community ELDERS we did not have
kevstar
I’m frankly bored with all the letters. We are all human. If you don’t like labels, just tell us your name. We’re not going to make up a new category just for you.
This doesn’t mean that I really care what people call themselves. I might call them a few names myself.
barryaksarben
Is that last comment to be clever because you look an ass
dhmonarch89
To quote Jackie Beat, ‘an acronym is supposed to make things easier- not be the whole f@cking alphabet!’
Seth
Then we can add “G” for grifter and call it day.