Feeling entrepreneurial, J&D’s Foods expanded its line of bacon-inspired products — which already includes bacon lip balm, shaving cream, sunscreen and even coffins for when your bacon obsession ultimately catches up to your arteries — by launching its first ever bacon deodorant.
Priced at a very reasonable $9.99 (compared to how much you pay for deodorant that doesn’t smell like bacon), Power Bacon is the deodorant “for when you sweat like a pig.”
According to a tongue-in-bacony-cheek press release touting the new product’s arrival:
Designed specifically for people with active lifestyles, Power Bacon provides 24 hours of Bacon Scent. For all day meat scented protection apply liberally to underarms or private areas. Do not eat, leave exposed to sunlight or explore the wilderness without a firearm(s).
Discreetly tucked into the corner of their “Let’s Get Weird” page — that’s gotta be a sign — is a small pic of “naughty” baconlube. So between the deodorant, lip balm and lube, sex can smell the way god intended it: like a waffle house that recently failed inspection.
But if bacon is not your thing, there’s always Sriracha candy canes because nothing says Christmas like seared taste buds.