master of ceremonies

Barack Obama Will Officiate White House Social Secretary Jeremy Bernard’s Wedding (April Fool’s)

It’s been a little over a month since President Obama finally declared he believes (part of) the Defense of Marriage Act is unconstitutional. But today he’s announcing he’s going a step further: he’s agreed to officiate the wedding of his newly installed social secretary Jeremy Bernard. UPDATE: Yes, this was our April Fool’s prank.

Bernard was named to the post in February and becomes the first man (and first out gay person) to hold the position. But Bernard and his partner Rufus Gifford (pictured R-L) — who helped raised serious cash for Obama’s 2008 presidential campaign — are unmarried. Obama has offered his services to fix that.

As you might’ve heard, Washington D.C. has legalized same-sex marriage and, despite House Republicans’ best efforts, it remains the law of the land. Which is where Bernard and Gifford plan to wed in spring 2012. (You thought they’d get in the way of Kate and William?) And Bernard — who served as a senior adviser to America’s French ambassador after his two-year gig as the White House liaison to the National Endowment for the Humanities — will supposedly plan just a smidge of his own ceremony, being the anal type-A that he is. Maybe just the invitations and desserts?

Obama, meanwhile, is still hedging somewhat on his support for gay marriage; he has yet to say he thinks it should be legal across the land, but he clearly supports the right of gays to get married where it’s legal. (Evidently, Obama’s views have truly evolved.) That he’s agreed to be the one to marry two gay men, meanwhile, will be the most visible signal yet of his pendulum swing. And I mean visible literally: There are going to be photos of this published all over the world.

The only thing that has yet to be determined, then, is whether Obama will lend Bernard and Gifford his home at 1600 Pennsylvania for the big event. He might as well: There are going to be lots of Hollywood and political egos to fit somewhere. And even bigger checkbooks.

UPDATE: As plenty of you have concluded by now, none of this is true. (Well, aside from Bernard being a type-A.) Hope you had a wonderful April 1st!

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44 Comments

  • tazz602

    April Fools??!! Good one – almost had me.

  • andy

    Almost had me too!

  • SaxAndViolins

    Can anyone say, “Publicity stunt to help his plummeting approval ratings?” This “evolution” is a direct result of backlash from the Left who thought Obama was all things good and kind, but have been steadily disappointed in his lack of action—on anything.

  • HRM

    Not only that, Obama will be jumping out of the cake at the bachelor party!

  • Adam

    @SaxAndViolins: Of course this is a political move, he’s doing it in an election year for God’s sake, but at least it’s a political move for our side, and its a very potent one at that. The American president officiating a gay wedding? That would have been the ravings of a lunatic even a year ago. Hell, it would have been the ravings of a lunatic yesterday.

    I can’t wait to see how the Right strikes back at this.

  • Jeffree

    @Adam: You’ve been punk’d!

  • D

    If this really is an April fools joke, it’s kind of a shitty one to pull… just saying.

  • Luke

    It’s a bril April Fools joke, but not very sticky. You got me at first, but it wasn’t on AmericaBlog so that gave it away. Next year Queerty, AmericaBlog, Slog@TheStanger, and AfterElton have to team up if you want to really punk people!

  • james_from_cambridge

    This is going to travel through the humor and irony-free right-wing blogosphere like wildfire in 3….2….1….

  • natalie davis

    This lefty believed it. If this indeed is a joke, it is not funny. It is cruel and heartless and shows that Queerty has NO respect for its audience. And I am not a humorless person in the least. If this is a joke, Queerty has lost this reader.

  • Spike

    Yea, well, I’ve seen Obama naked, and that’s NOT and April Fools.

    Why am I not surprised that Queerty would come up with a snarky and very not cleaver nor original April Fools post.

  • Jeffree

    Natalie Davis, please do stay. We’d miss hearing your reaction every April First, as well as the other salient, thoughtful and humorous comments you make on a regular basis.

  • mike128

    I agree that if this is an April fools joke it’s in poor taste.

  • mike128

    I agree that if this is an April fools joke it’s in poor taste. Not funny at all.

  • disco lives

    in other news, Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton was spotted last Sunday strolling through the cherry blossoms in the Washington Mall wearing a printed Jason Wu sleeveless frock from the “Resort 2011” collection, accessorized with an Alexis Bittar pin at the shoulder.

  • David

    President’s can’t officiate at weddings. ;-)

  • Jeffree

    @DiscoLives: LOL, you forgot the part about “During her outing, Clinton was accompanied by none other than Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor, predessor Condoleeza Rice, and Lisa Ramekin-Taylor-Jones, noted professor of Women’s Studies at Smith College. The women enjoyed a brief game of softball, followed by an impromptu recital of their favorite Indigo Girls’ songs.”

  • Dave

    The problem isn’t that it’s in particularly poor taste. The real problem is that there’s nothing in the article to distinguish it from Queerty’s usual poorly-written, semi-incoherent screed.

  • mark Segal

    This is a perfect example why we love Queerty. Their style on telling a story…… FUN!

  • Right Wingers Are Socioptahs (John From England)

    @mark Segal:

    Really? Okay.

  • Dennis

    April Fool’s!

    Obama and his administration are not for GLBT rights even if they want to claim that they are. Even DADT is repealed in name yet the Obama administration edited out the non-discrimination clause rendering the entire bill useless! Now GLBT military personnel will still be kicked out of the military.

    Even most Democrats who claim that they are really are not when it comes down to the brass tacks. At least the Conservatives will flat out tell it and be honest.

  • Stacey

    Aww, cruel joke guys. I believed it, and hit the recommend on facebook button before I realized what day it is.

    I hate this stupid day.

  • Shannon1981

    I don’t like pranks, I can be really gullible. But this one is sorta funny.

  • Adam

    @Jeffree: Damn’t, you’re right.

  • kevininbuffalo

    You got me, good one!

  • Kyle Austin

    This is unacceptably cruel. There’s April Fools and there’s this, which is so far beyond that.

  • Jeffree

    @Adam: Believe me, I almost got pwned too. Then, I said to myself “Wait, handsome, Obama’s not really a fan of SSM yet, is he?….Hmmm….wait, it April 1st!”
    Without caffeine I would’ve been just going “uh, whaaaaaat?”

  • dvd

    @D: Completely agree.

  • Ernest

    Fuck you Queerty if this is you idea of a joke! I am beyond upset and disgusted that you would pull something like this! Gay Marriage is a SERIOUS issue in which MANY including myself are fighting for the right to Marry our partners. I’ve been with my fiancé for 8 years, yet I see my family and friends eloping with someone they’ve met online or a few months ago, etc. The Defense of Marriage Act is total bullshit and the lies that is thrown out there so the ignorant people believe those lies and think what they are being told is the truth that gay sex will be taught to elementary students, churches will be forced to Marry Gay couples, and MANY more disgusting lies! The fucking Audacity you assholes have! No wonder the Gay Community isn’t being taken seriously, the ignorant people in the world think were all a bunch of HIV/AIDS ridden faggots who can not be in a mongonomous relationship fucking everything in site even the kiddies all the while we use the hardest forms of narcotic drugs and poppers! If anything it’s pieces if shits like you whom set the Gay Community back ten steps when were hardly moving forward! It’s OUR responsibility to educate people about the TRUTH on the Gay Community and to get rid of it’s “Taboo” it’s up to the newer generations to continue to keep educating people. How dare you take on of our hardest issues to complete and make a mockery of it over some man made bullshit “April Fools Day” so for that FUCK YOU!

  • Oprah

    Please pass me the puke bucket.

  • justiceontherocks

    @Ernest: just curious – what do you do for fun?

  • Sapphocrat

    So, Queerty, do you also deliver fake winning lotto tickets to people in homeless shelters, then point and laugh hysterically when they get to the fine print at the bottom that says they can pick up their $10,000 prize “at yo’ mama’s house”?

  • Jeffree

    @Ernest: Welcome to this new thing called “a blog”! I’m not sure how 4/1 is celebrated in your country, but in the US it’s a day to play pranks. Also, if you had some knowledge of US politics, you’d realize Pres. Obama has yet to come out in favor of marriage equality, and that he is unable to officiate at any wedding.

    Science has made great strides in treating deprèssion, but humorlessness and cluelessness are still beyond our ken.

    A quick trip to Wikïpedia might help you understand such customs.

  • mike128

    @Jeffree: I think you’re being too much of an asshole.

  • mike128

    @Jeffree: I think you’re being too much of an asshole. No offense.

  • Jeffree

    @Mike128: No offense taken. My guy is foreign & I have to explain this stuff to him all the time.

    I can’t wait until DOMA is repealed & Obama supports SSM.

  • James Martino

    @HRM: Just another strike for him from me Go Hillary lol

  • rustrose

    Really not funny. My opinion of Queerty just dropped pretty low. You seem to be pissing off a decent portion of your target audience with this.

  • Emily

    Sick joke…

  • dra

    you bunch of whiny little bitches… “I’m sooo offended by your april fools joke, how dare you”

    get a sense of humor ffs

  • Fuck Off.

    Dude. You guys are fucking worthless.
    This isn’t funny. This was almost ground breaking you assholes.

  • JJ

    Jesus Christ. Who let the herd of high horses up in here?

  • ewe

    Obama will end up with a legacy similar to Clinton and that is not good news for gay people.

  • Gammon

    @Ernest:
    I agree, i’m straight and in my country England we are taught (most of us) that it’s fine to be gay and my cousin is getting married and in a church in a year or two.

Comments are closed.