KIDS MAKE GREAT PETS

Because Prop 8 Supporters Have No Case, Children Will Turn Into Tea Cup Poodles In Gay Men’s Purses

Matt Baume’s excellent weekly round-up for Marriage Equality Watch not only mentions the entire constellation of stars looking to appear in Dustin Lance Black‘s Prop 8 play, but also asserts that even if the Prop 8 supporters have legal standing to defend the marriage equality ban, they still have no case proving the law’s constitutionality. Meanwhile, supporters of the ballot measure seeking to ban marriage equality in Minnesota have hired Rhode Island anti-gay activist Chris Plante to help run their campaign. Did we mention that Plante once said that gay couples want to adopt kids so they can raise them like tea cup poodles in their purses?

Yes, this is the brain trust we’re up against.

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8 Comments

  • Thomas Maguire

    Now I am confused…

    I thought we wanted to have sex with kids, not carry them in a purse?

    Now I have to carry a kid in my purse?

    Is there a specific type of purse that one can use for carrying a kid?

    I currently do not carry a purse, so does anyone have a recommendation as to a good one to buy?

  • redmont

    @Thomas Maguire: anything pink with sequins would be perfect. the bigger the purse, the gayer the homo, that’s my general rule of thumb.

    Also, keep in mind that he didn’t say we still didn’t want to have sex with the children, just that we also want to parade them around in our ginormous fagbag.

    My secret, Thomas, is to cut a hole into the purse on your favored side, that way you can fuck your kid while I’m doing all of my fabulous shopping! Sometimes, I trade off with other homos, because I get tired of my vanilla baby every day and sometimes I want a chocolate one, but that’s just me I guess. I’m so silly!

  • Adam in CA

    @redmont: Excellent advice, Redmont! Do you have suggestions for how to discipline the child when it poops in the house? Should I hit it with the newspaper or just get one of those shock collars?

  • Kev C

    Matt Baume is not a credible lumberjack. He should get a smoking jacket with a vintage estate pipe.

  • paul f

    @Adam in CA: First you’re supposed to rub their nose in it,THEN hit them with the rolled up newspaper. Of course this wouldn’t happen in the first place if you didn’t let them out of the cage.(While this is intended as sarcasm, too many times I have read of straight parents putting their kids in cages and/or killing them in the process, but WE are the unfit ones.)

  • Skeloric

    As a Minnesotan, I’m horrified that my state is pretty much the exact equal of Texas, only being on the top of the map rather than the bottom.
    We got the Bachmanns and Texas has Rick Perry.
    I don’t care how much they snipe at each other, they are like different heads on some big evil multi-headed monster.
    No matter which one gets to the point of receiving the GOP NOMination to run against Obama, it’ll still be the NOM hate machine pulling the puppet strings from behind the scenes.

  • Chad

    @Skeloric: Wasn’t there a multi-headed beast mentioned in some book? I get my fairy tales confused sometimes but i think it was the anti-christ mentioned in the bible.

  • Skeloric

    @Chad: Heh, that is exactly where i got the image.

Comments are closed.