Queerty is better as a member
It’d be nice to get more of the bisexuual perspective. I’m sure it’s difficult to be in the middle.
Cue massive argument about how all gays are actually bisexual (and vice versa), bisexuals are EEEEVIL, oppression Olympics, how one side is more priviledged than the other, gays don’t exist/bisexuals don’t exist, being bi is better or more natural etc. Why does queerty post these stories that are basically just vapid placeholders (as opposed to actual educated or scientifically approached sicussions about bisexuality) knowing it will start a fight?
That said I do have a probelm with bi people that deny gay people exist, and that everyone is bi (influential straight people). But there are gay people and straights that tell them the same thing. The fact is bisexual people do have the”priviledge” of being able to pass as straight or have fulfilling heterosexual relationships, but gay people have the priviledge of having their sexuality taken more seriously most of the time so it kinda balances out in different ways.
The only bi people I have a problem with are the “women to marry guys to f***” ones that think gays aren’t good enough for them. I’m not talking about bi people who legitimately have a major preference for one over the others, I’m talking about people who honestly don’t see gay people/relationships as equal to their straight ones. Bottom line we are all queer so we really shouldn’t be fighting about it, and though I could be wrong, I have a feeling this article will just stir animosity on both sides.
@bledoutcolor: I’m a bisexual, cisgender female and who are these bi people you have met that deny gays exist??? All I’ve ever heard all my life is that I have to pick a side. I don’t want to pick a side, I love all sides. Yes, I am married to a man, and yes, that affords me hetero privilege. I love my husband, but that love doesn’t invalidate that I am a bisexual person. I will NEVER stop being attracted to either gender or people who identify as trans. It is what it is. Honesty is the key. The sooner we all stop laying our baggage at one another’s feet and just start respecting one another the sooner all this cross-queer hatred can end. I totally agree with you that Queerty should publish more thoughtful articles about bisexuality than this little blurb designed solely to generate page views, but baby steps, right?
Like you said, bottom line we are all queer. Let’s stick together!
Hey the more sex positive people that come out and say “hey, this is who I am, and fuck you” the better – L, B, G, or T (LMNOP) etc..
Ive met various people who are bi th
Ive met various people who are bi that basically just had internalized homophobia and thought I was good enough to use for sex but wasn’t “marriage material” or relationship material because I wasn’t a chick. Likewise ive met a LOT of people who say “everyone is really just bisexual” much like people say that everyone is monosexual on the other side. Both are hurtful and ridiculous.
Ive met and personally know a few others who are just really awesome people and don’t subscribe to those lines of thought though, one being a close gaming friend that lives in NY that I trust a lot. Sadly in my personal group of people I know most are the selfish/obnoxious type of bi people who are really just hurt or damaged and turn that on other people, but that’s obviously a small and skewed sample size and I confront it when they spew bullcrap just like I do to monosexual people who say bi people don’t exist or aren’t good ______ material.
Didn’t mean personal offense. Just saying they are out there and there are quite a few unenlightened, hurtful members on both sides of the fence. And as far as priviledge like I said yes bisexuals do get to enjoy straight priviledge, but they have to deal with people presuming they are not going to be capable of monogamy because they aren’t mono. Ive felt that mistrust before myself in fact,and even though it was more out of preservation of my feelings than anything it was not nice of me to think it/feel that mistrust and I acknowledge that. Point is, even though gays and bi people like to play the oppression Olympics with each other it really does balance out with different types of oppression for each side. As a gay man, I may be seen as less acceptable or natural as a bisexual person since I have no interest in women which is “how men should be”, but bisexuals are seen as liars and labeled as a sexuality that they aren’t. Aside from my homophobic parents no one else tells me I’m just pretending to be gay etc. And people generally take my sexuality at face value. We all have our crosses to bear, so to speak.
Point is this article is cheap and is totally just baiting an argument and resentment from both sides. Queerty knows when they used “phase” it is a loaded word and its a controversial concept, so I’m not letting them off the hook for that. Shame on you Queerty! You must he hard up for real news when you have to generate page views like this.
As a bisexual male who’s known what I like ever since I was 8, who has been in long-term monogamous relationships with both men and women, I’d like to say I really hate using the phrase “As a bisexual male,” it makes me feel totally gross.
Then don’t. No one is making you use that label but yourself.
The mere fact that women are sellers disqualifies them from being taken seriously on the issue of sexuality, including bsexuality. Keep in mind also that women don’t need to be aroused in order to have sex.
The fakeness of female sexuality poses a risk to gay rights progress because it trivializes the issue.
@Brian: Exchequer me but did women ASK to be a selling point to sleazy straight guys? No? Then kindly tone down the misogyny.
While I see your point and it is true hat men HAVE to he aroused for sex (penetrative at least) and women can have sex with a man without being into it at all whereas men couldn’t w/women (vaginally at least) it doesn’t mean women don’t have a “legitimate” sexuality. Even though I want nothing to do with female sex or sexuality, Ill stand up for their right to have it and it be seen as legitimate.
@Brian: Excuse me but did women ASK to be a selling point to sleazy straight guys? No? Then kindly tone down the misogyny.
@kityglitr: Well I’ve seen lots of bisexuals who’ve said and argued that bisexuality is actually the natural way we were intended to be and then try to tell me that monosexuality is not natural and is as as result of society brainwashing us and making us feel like we have to pick a side and that everyone has a little bit of bisexuality in them.
I’m not saying ALL bisexuals are guilty of this, it’s just an argument I’ve come across.
@Niall: Its actually pretty common to hear. Even on queerty Ive seen at least ten commenters say something along those lines. Its probably just hurt people trying to claim superiority after being made to feel less than by biphobic individuals, but its still not right, not to mention hypocritical to call for people to stop denying the legitimacy of your sexuality, and then tell another person that they are really bisexual and gays don’t exist. It just causes hurt feelings and more animosity all around really.
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