Being Gay’s As Easy A 1-2-3!

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Straight folk looking for the secret to gay success better listen up. Michael Melcher not-so-recently recalled an encounter with a straight coworker who wondered if Melcher’s ‘moness made him more upwardly mobile. After miraculously reciting his entire explanatory monologue (“A big part of coming out is recognizing that you are not going to get acceptance and approval from everyone” – blah, blah – “Coming out is a process of sorting out your adult self”), the journo offers a quick checklist for straights looking for the gay way to the top:

You don’t have to be gay to be gay on the inside. Anyone can do it! It just requires three things: (1) consider that you might be different from the way people think you are; (2) consider that you might be different from the way you think you are supposed to be; (3) be willing to accept that other people may disapprove of your choices, and realize that their approval doesn’t matter all that much anyway.

That’s right. Just remember, everyone, there’s no one as important or as smart or as absolutely fablous as you. No one…