Bieber Retires, Miley Tongues A Lady, “Ultimate Gay Fighter” Gets Gayer & More!


– When I first saw the title “Disney Men without Beards” I immediately thought that Aladdin had finally dumped Jasmine and moved into a condo with Jafar. This is almost as good.

Justin Bieber claims he’s “officially retiring” but assures fans that being a Belieber is a “lifestyle” (and here I thought it was a congenital birth defect). Bieber also warned the world that he would be here forever in all caps because he’s apparently the anti-Christ (and here I swore it was Taylor Swift).

– Tween titan Rocco Ritchie is following in his mom Madonna‘s eerily ripped footsteps by werqing on his fitness.

– People just shouldn’t be allowed to have kids if they’re going to name them after a soft drink.

newyear3These photos brought up some wonderful memories from a past life spent face-down in a pile of cocaine and/or my own vomit. God I miss the ’70s.

1501698_10152143741726171_1597078935_n– Witches! They’re just like us. Angela Bassett, however, just rides Kathy Bates around. Side-saddle.

Kanye West vowed not to talk shit for the next six months. That means he’s either going to die from blockage or just go full-blown diarrhea on the entire world at year’s end. The Yeocalypse is nigh.

– After realizing that someone wasn’t looking directly at her for a few seconds, Miley Cyrus got a little sapphic with supermodel/bff Cara Delevingne.

– Mobile video game Ultimate Gay Fighter released its second trailer featuring the conservative, right-wing, tea-bagging villains of The League of Self Righteous Zealots (LOSRZ):