Bill Gates Continues Mission To Save World, You

Yo, if there’s a problem, Bill Gates will solve it. He’s kind of like Vanilla Ice in that respect, only hopefully more successful. The geeky billionaire’s expected to announce today that his Gates Foundation and the Canadian government will test a new AIDS vaccine.

Gates has dedicated his life and his loot to combating the world’s deadliest diseases. Of these efforts, Gates tells Canadian Broadcasting Corporation:

This money is going to be spent on some very important causes in this century, and of the top 20 diseases that create the inequity, we will have either had drugs or vaccines to virtually eliminate most all of those. AIDS is the toughest, but certainly in my lifetime, I’d be very surprised if we don’t have a vaccine.

Of course, Gates doesn’t plan on dying anytime soon: he’s arranged to have his brain implanted in a titanium robot. If he doesn’t sort all of the world’s problems by then, he’ll continue on in robotic form. If he’s still unsuccessful, he’ll either give up or go on a killing rampage that will only end when he’s supreme ruler of our lonely planet.