Bill O’Reilly Wants To Blow Coit Tower

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Bill O’Reilly loves America. He’s so damn patriotic that he’s now inviting, yes, inviting al Qaeda to San Francisco.

Not spinning, he says:

“Fine. You want to be your own country? Go right ahead,” O’Reilly went on. “And if al Qaeda comes in here and blows you up, we’re not going to do anything about it. We’re going to say, look, every other place in America is off limits to you except San Francisco. You want to blow up the Coit Tower? Go ahead.”

We didn’t know Christians could issue their own fatwas. How very Quentin Tarantino of him. We went in search of his the man behind the “no spin.” What is it like being Bill O’Reilly? Should we have known about this violent side? A quick check of his favorite movies reveals that O’Reilly likes his movies either very violent or very, well, how can we put it…gay? Unforgiven, Bonnie and Clyde, and Dirty Harry – violent Bill. Shampoo and Saturday Night Fever – gay Bill.

We’re not saying he has any repressed homo tendencies, but destroying a giant phallic symbol in the country’s queerest city and digging a young disco-loving John Travolta? No, we’re not saying that at all.

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