Billy Lucas, a 15-year-old freshman at Greensburg High School in Indiana, hung himself on Thursday after enduring bullying torment from his peers — just a few weeks into the school year. His mother found her son, hanging, in their barn. On Billy’s Facebook web memorial, he’s remembered with comments like, “Everyone made fun of him.” At least one former student says he made administrators aware of his own LGBT bullying, and they did nothing.
Mr. Enemabag Jones
This has to stop. Anti-gay hets have decided that attacking us isn’t enough, they will attack our kids. Enough is enough.
Grown adults allowing kids to be harrassed and tormented is one of the sickest tactics these bastards use against us. It’s time to stop being the world’s favorite door mat, and start fighting back.
Life is hard enough when you’re a kid, you shouldn’t have to be harrassed as a teen just for being gay.
Goddamn I hate straight people.
I think it’s time to take my ax handle out of retirement, and start busting some het heads
Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. So sad.
The facts show the great danger facing LGBT youth. A 2009 study, “Family Rejection as a Predictor of Negative Health Outcomes” by San Francisco State University, shows that adolescents rejected by their families for being LGBT were 8.4 times more likely to report having attempted suicide. And for every completed suicide by a young person, it is estimated that 100 to 200 attempts are made (2003 Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance Survey).
The best way to stop this is for our legal organizations to step in and aid GLBT youth by launching financially crippling lawsuits against the bigots, whether they’re schools, parents, politicians or cult ‘reeducation’ camps. The Southern Poverty Law Center used that strategy to financially break the KKK in the late 80s and 90s. Lambda Legal, the NCLR and the ACLU should step up to defend our youth.
omg, i feel so sad, it just isn’t right i wish i could have talked him out of it or been there to be his friend . this just put a damper on my day
Horrible news. In 2010, it’s just unacceptable.. In case any youngin’s are reading this I just want to say: if you are in hell, just survive for now. Do what you can to get away to a college or training program, I promise you– it can get better.
@Mr. Enemabag Jones: May I join you? I’ve got some Cutco knives that could stand to be sharpened on a breeder’s skull.
Oh, and “straight people” are neither.
I’m a queer supremacist and I’m proud. We need a gay equivalent of the Jewish Defense League or the Black Panthers and we need it now!
This is too much. Who cares if you don’t agree with homosexuality? It doesn’t give ANYONE the right to harass you to the point of thinking THERE IS NO F*CKING POINT and ending it. I’ve been there and I KNOW how hopeless you feel when it feels like no one is on your side. These kids need SOMEONE to stand up for them and say that this sh*t is wrong. Not even lying, I’m with Queer Supremacist right now. Making nice with these *ssholes is NOT working. Maybe if we tie a couple of them to fences and beat their *sses they’ll cut it the F*ck out! *RAGERAGERAGE* RIP BILLY LUCAS.
@spider_orchid: A couple won’t do. It needs to be a couple MILLION. When more of them have been justly put to death than all the victims of Nazism, Fascism and Communism put together then maybe they’ll knock it off.
I smell Christians.
I fear you may be right.
There is a definite reek of (un)holy bigotry in the air
This is the reason why I laugh when someone says, “Homophobia does not exist.” Yeah, it’s still there people!
Re No. 3 : “The best way to stop this is for our legal organizations to step in and aid GLBT youth by launching financially crippling lawsuits against the bigots, whether they’re schools, parents, politicians or cult ‘reeducation’ camps.”
It’s already been done, but unfortunately the “slow learners” don’t catch on as fast as one may like. Check out http://www.aclu.org/lgbt-rights_hiv-aids/settlement-fact-sheet-flores-v-morgan-hill-unified-school-district for one example of a similar problem (fortunately with no deaths) in Morgan Hill, California at the southern edge of the gay-friendly Bay Area (which which becomes more conservative as you head south from San Francisco and the Peninsula into what was historically a rural agricultural area.) The large settlement, plus an agreement from the school to improve staff training, was of course noted by quite a few other schools and no matter what the management thought about gays, the financial cost definitely got some attention. Even schools in more liberal parts of the region, with no reported problems, took notice and made sure that they were covering all bases with training programs, etc., to avoid punitive damages if there was an incident.
My High School had a club for young gay guys and girls. There were quite alot of kids in it too.
Middle School was horrible. There were many times I wanted to end it all. I didn’t and thought I was a coward. Now that I look at all my friends and how much better my life is, I’m glad I perservered.
There are so many ways someone could have helped that kid. I hope someone at least tried.
His parents should also have been able to help him by supporting him, or by going to the school when made aware of this harassment and standing up for him. Leaving this world becomes a lot harder when the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally, love you unconditionally.
@B: Sorry, but a lawsuit against the school district alone clearly doesn’t work. The sums paid out are covered by insurance or, in the worst case, are simply passed on to taxpayers. What does work is suing the bullies themselves. While it may seem odd to sue a kid, such a suit would result in a judgment that is enforceable for 20 years or more. Further, the lawsuit would bring their conduct out into the open for public inspection and comment.
It also would put a well-deserved strain on the parents, who would have to foot the bill for the legal defense. If it can be shown that the parent knew what was going on and failed to act, then a suit against the parent is possible. Finally, there needs to be suits against individual teachers and administrators and those suits must include claims for punitive damages, which won’t be covered by the district or by insurance.
Put their houses and bank accounts at risk and suddenly the caring and concern will rush forth. The only thing that matters in a soulless Christian society like the US is money. When people stand to lose money, they will suddenly discover their morals.
Americans don’t give a fuck about kids and they SURE as hell don’t give a tee-tiny fuck about gay kids. They refuse to even believe that gay kids exist. Just ask ANY straight adult. They will tell you that gay kids exist. They will also tell you that children don’t know what “gay” is. Straight people are TOTALLY ignorant of the fact that kids are calling each other gay to insult them as early as kindergarten.
Amend the above comment to say that straights will tell you that gay kids do NOT exist.
@Diz: I think we’re all glad you persevered. There have been too many Billy Lucases already.
No. 16 · Desi wrote, “@B: Sorry, but a lawsuit against the school district alone clearly doesn’t work. The sums paid out are covered by insurance or, in the worst case, are simply passed on to taxpayers.”
… and insurers will either drop the district or raise its rates, and the school board will have to answer to the voters. Also, if you read the settlement information (I provided a link), it forced the school district to put in training programs to help prevent a repeat.
This is truly sad. Another young mans life has been destroyed by thoughtless social pressure. My condolences to the parents.
What is even more unfortunate is that this boy is not the only one. Hundreds of youth attempt suicide every year, and many of them “succeed”, if that is the right word. Most of them are not reported in the news, either because there is some question about the facts or circumstances, or just out of respect for the privacy of the family.
While we may never know why all of those youth die, and we may never be able to prevent all of them, we do know that anti-gay bias is a major cause, and that gay youth are far more likely to attempt suicide than straight youth. We surely can reduce the number by reducing the social pressure that leads young people to such destruction.
A major source of information, including lots of references and statistics, is available online at: http://www.youth-suicide.com/gay-bisexual/ . Most of that information is presented in a clinical or academic manner, which makes it less difficult to read. But, of course, it is still hard to read. Anyone who reads it must be aware at some level that each one of those statistics was some mothers child.
this is sad, no doubt about it but DAMN IT do i wish that the gay kids being picked on fight back against those picking on themselves rather then taking their own lives.
hell, i’d rather a picked on gay kid shoot up his school so that way all these homophobic jerks get the fear of hell put into them and think twice about messing with gay kids.
@BjBien1010: If I recall correctly, the boys responsible for the Columbine shooting were called “fags”.
The need for an LGBT militia grows stronger every day.
Queerty readers: who the f “LOL’s” this story??!!!
@mulletkitty: My guess breeders who come on this site to troll.
I live in Greensburg,Indiana.It is a nice,quiet, small town.I moved here because the city I grew up in was very corrupt and full of angry idiots.I was small in high school.A gay man stalked me for a while and when he finally was arrested for it,I was the “fag” at my school.I wasn’t gay or straight at the time,I was just a kid.People who were my friends avoided me after this started.People,even adults,blamed me for it.”what did you do to that guy?” was all I heard.I was very angry at gay people for a long time,but I realized it was just this jerk I should be mad at.So,don’t hate all straight people,hillbillies,republicans,religious people,etc. for what these other kids and the school staff did to this kid.Angry and blatantly sexual protests/displays do not help your cause.Just be a decent,law-abiding,pleasant,friendly citizen and more people will be willing to help with your cause.Instead of a gay parade with your boyfriend on a leash and leather underwear;wear your work clothes and have a parade to the children’s hospital with a sack of money for the sick kids.I would be more than willing to arrange a parade like that in Greensburg to help this kid’s family with burial expenses,help the school fund bullying programs,etc.Fell free to email me if interested.Jerry.
Bullied kids—whether they’re GLB, learning disabled, poor, fat, ugly etc. need to get enrolled in self-defense classes where they learn to defend themselves with:
Bullies pick on the weakest of the weak, so all it takes is standing up to them once, and they go elsewhere. One good shoutdown often does the trick — I know this from personal experience. If that doesn,t work, then knowing how to bring the assailant to the ground by bending their arm to the point of pain works. You can learn to do this in about three lessons.
Second: School policy needs to be explicit about bullying and enforced by every staff member from the lunch supervisor to the play ground monitor. My school did this and it worked.
Third; Suicide prevention programs ARE effective. One school assembly per semester/ year, posters in the halls and classrooms, and wallet-sized cards containing phone #s of who to call if you’re contemplating hurting yourself.
Many school districts have gotten the suicide rate down to zero by taking a serious stance against bullying and by providing students with resources to defend themselves, procedures to follow to report bullying and backup help for students who feel “on the ledge”.
This isn’t rocket science. We know what works.
Let’s do more of it.
What a tragedy this is. Kids have enough problems growing up, and just when they are at their weakest point, some bully comes along and torments them.
The bullies don’t know whether the kids they are tormenting by calling them faggot are gay or not. They are just targets of opportunity. The bullies pick on the weak, or kids who have no friends to back them up. But one thing is clear: the bullies are homophobic. They take their cues from the larger society and local community, which gives them the message that it’s OK to discriminate against gays.
Like the U.S. military, for example.
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
This is an actual suicide note written by a Gay teen. It is long but I read this and didn’t know whether to cry or begin smashing things……….
I am sorry to the people that I love but I cant fucking take it anymore. So I am gay. Why dooes everyone hate me becaus of that. Fuck them. I have been punched and spit on andcalled faggot, queer, loser, pussy, fag boy. Some asshole painted faggot on my locker. Some people do not talk to me. Fuck them, fuck everyone, I hate this fucking life know. I am so fucking tired of the shit. I hve receved hate letters telling me to leave school telling me that faggots aren’t welcome and that I am a fag.
I am scared.and I am tiredand I cant take any more. Yesterday in the locker room some assholes said steven is such a pussy and faggot. He is an ugnly stupid faggotand we should kill him. And they knew that I could hear them. Idont know what to fucking thing now. Is it better that they kill me or I kill myselfi don’t fucking know. Ijust want to die and that is all so I don’t have to put up with this fucking shit. They don’t know shit . then are just fucked asshles. So I neeed to stop all of this fucking shit now. they don’t fucking know me they are all asshles. I hate everyone know. Iam a better person than any pone of themand I fucking know that for sure. I don’t want to be such a fuckng problem for my family either. Afterall you have a fag for a son. Why do people need to do thisand we did nothing. They should all be in prison.they are horrible I hate eveyht fucking one so fuck ethem.
I know this that they are assholes. I wish that they could feel this shti that I feel then see what they do. Theycould not fucking take itand I know that withouc a doube.so why is this life so fucked.why I just am going to end eveythihng now this is it I need to kill myself I love many people mom and dad I love you and you didn’t do anything bad I hat e life and this is why I have to die I am scared and iam tired of being laughted at made fun of beaten up and threatened and shit and and feeling like shit. Fuckfuckfuckfuck I just need to die. Don’t be mad. Be happy that allt he bad shit I feel is goint fo be over finaly forever. God will understand,and I know that. Maybe jesus was gay. How do we know anyting. Maybe god is gay. I am gay and I should not be fucked over because of that. So fucking what. People are just too stupid. I am like evey fuckin otgher person just I am gay so fucking whant. Assholes. I should paint asshole on everyones locker before I die. Ijust font care anyhmore I need to go.i am so scared now. I now I need to die but I will be fine after I am dead. I am so sure of that because god will take care of me. I never did anything wrong and I know ai will go to heaven. And I hpe the assholes go to hell. What is a faggot someone ell me. I am just like fucking eveynie else godfuckshit.
So [name removed] told me, why are you a faggot. Do you like to fuck guys fag boy. He said do you want to fuck me fag boy. If you try I will beat the hell out of you fag boy. You like guys little fag boy. You wnt to just fuck guysso what the fcuk is wrong with you fag boy. You are just a pussy stupid fag boy. You are such an ugly fag boy no faggot would even fuck an uglyfagg boiy like you. Then he laughed. So what am I supposted to do. He is big. He cold beat the shit out of me. So I do nothing and he laughs at me, and I go homeand higde and cry . then I think about comitting suicide agaoin. I have thought for a long time about comiting suicide. I need to kill myself.no other asshole is going to kill me. I wil commit suicide and I will have peace and be freed. So I need to do this. Yhou must understand. I can not live one more day. I will be so happy in heaven. I can just be normal like everyone else. I will not be the faggot, the queer, the fag boy, the pussy.
I have wanted to be dead for so long. I don’t really know how I made it as far as thisbecase i jujst think about being dead. I am never happy. Why did so many people lie to me. I wish I never told anyone I am gay.why the fuck did I do that. [name removed] started this. I wish she was dead. i trusted her. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuk asshole. Cant I tll anyone. So I tell [name removed] because I was so fucking tired of hiding every day. And she tells everyone. Fuck herthe bitch. I hate her. She killed me.
I love you mom and dad.because even though you did not undertand maybe you loved me and said I was fine and you would help me.but at school it was like being in hell. Iwas burning in hell eery day. I dould not tell you edeverythin thatwas happening. I did not want you to worryaboyut me. I coulnd not do that do you. I hope that youwill forgive me.plese forgive me. And rememberme when I was happy. And I am not a faggot I am a person that is all. Why was I a gay though, why me, why whey why why I always ask. I will never know. God must have wanted me to be with him now because he is tlling me to kill myself. I think that anywayse. And I know I need to commit suicide soon. But you need to know why. Don’t be sad. You wont have a faggot son anymore. So you will be happy. No more burden for you. Tell every0ne I got sick or something it doesn’t matter I just cant go on one day more I cannot fucking go on. No nofuckthi w wourld and everyone but I dnot mean you Ilove you mom and dad and I do have some rfriends and not many but most everyone is a stupid asshole and I hlpe that they get sick and die. I hate them for whant they did and most of all [name removed] because she started it all. I hate her hate her hater her hate her hater her she is the faggot if faggot means andyithing bad not me. And why doew fag have to mean anything bad , but I am gay not a fag and just a person like anyone wlse.
I know that life is horible now. It is not worth living. It really is not worth living. Why should I go on. You must understand me. I cant do throgu h this any more. Of fucki cant. I am scared everyday. I feel like shit everyday I don’t want to go out anymore. I never want to go to school how can I learn anyting.i cant I don’t care. Grades so what and then I will work and people will call me fag I will always be a fag to them. Assholes assholes fuckfuckfkk
No I wont let anyone else hurt me. That is anyother reason why I will commit suicide. Nobody will hurt me agaoin ever erer. No one will call me a fag or a queer or a pussy or a fag boy or anything. Nobody is going to spit on me again. Or write faggot on my lockoer of send me letters telling me that I should go to anothershcool because I am a faggot or say they should kill me because I am an ugly faggot and they should kill me. Or that I am an ugly faggot and noother faggot would fuck me. Who says I want to fuck or when or why or where. Whaty do they knowthey talk about fucking girls. I never talk about anyutint assholes fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
[name removed] started this shit and she should be imprison forever. Now I cnat stop cryuing I ma so fucked up my head is so fucked up mom and dad I am sorry. I need to die just undertand. Please understand and neverstop loving me. It is not your.and don’t be sadplease never be sad. Ifeel so sick not ikind of feel happy to because I know know it will be over soon. I don’t khow about ahat everything will be like ima kind of scared too. But I have to die nowbecause I can not take one more day ican not take one mor fucking day of them saying fag queer, hittng me spittin at me. They spit on me. God dam assholes. And [name removed] said that he was going tostick a broom stick up my assbecause he said that that is what I like. Asshole.illstick it up his ass asshole. Why did all of this happen my head is just so fucked up ia m sad always. I don’t remember when iwas happy. It was so long ago, or was I ever happy . can faggots be happy. I don’t knowbut I am not a faggot they are faggots and I am a person. I feel so much paing all of thetime I guessyou could say that I anm like numb. Because I am. Just pain all pain. And I hate the pain. I am always sad. Assholes. Andi hurt like shit. It is like they beat the hellout ofme with their stupid words. I guess that they do. They don’t win I will winbecause iwill be happy and they are hotiblepeople.fudk I cant stop crying byt I am very happy to it is weird. I guess I am cryingbecause I am sorry mom and dadbut I am hppy that I will be in heaven and no moreattakces. Is being a faggot mean you are inwariam fuckfuckfuck
Itewqa on tuestdy that ithouth antoerther antoe fuckufuckfuckfuck. It was on tuestday fucking tuestday I am dead soon and haqppy fuck I should have a partey. I am just a person.they are they fucking fags.
I need towrite a poem
i will name iti am not a fag
I am not a fag
You are the fags
I am a person
You say faggot faggot queer queer but you don’t know anyting
I know that you are stupid assholes and that is more than you know
What is heavenreally like mom and dad. I hope it is all that not here. And don’t be sad because you will be with meagaoin. I know I know.
I am getting happier now. I am becauseit is all ending now. I want you to know that I feel good now. I think I feel really good now , yes I do. I am not crying anymore and I am rfeeling happy. I think I will be happy in heaven no longer a faggot just a person. The real faggots are tthem
I have to say goodbye now so don’t be sad. Please never be sad. I am happy. I am really happy now. Everying will be fine I am happeire that I have ever been because it is all over.
Goodbye I love you mom and dad but I hate almost everyone else. Don’t be sad.
I am happy now
@Bill Perdue, B, etc.:
Fuck lawsuits. The staff members who knew about the bullying and allowed it (or worse, engaged in it themselves) should be charged with manslaughter. Any other form of willful or malicious negligence that results in someone’s death would be charged with manslaughter, this should be no different.
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
I tried to post this kids letter but it got auto flagged. I hope this link will not be flagged. I read the letter and couldn’t decide whether to cry or start smashing things. This is the link to an actual suicide letter written by a Gay teen. It is well worth the time to click and read. Am hoping people will recongnize my tagname to realize this is not spam. Is powerfull, disturbing, and one of the saddest things you will ever lay your eyes on……….
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
Above link don’t work gotta give L credit for this which seems to work:
Try pasting together:
Being a teen is tough enough, much less having to endure such mindless taunting. My sympathy to his family. We, gay and straight and every shade in-between, have to wake up and support kids at risk.
Everyone responsible for pushing this young man over the edge should hang his/her head in shame. I am horrified at the upbringing of these children who cowardly, antagonized this boy to his eventual end.
Everyone in that school who knew but did nothing, hang your head in shame as well. You are just as guilty for standing by, doing nothing to help. You will have to live with this shame and regret. Blood of Billy Lucas is on your hands.
To the Principal and staff of this school, what were you thinking? How could you stand idly by, allowing this to continue. I very much hope these attackers stand trial and that you, as staff are prosecuted for involuntary manslaughter or some other form of ambivalence in the face of this abuse.
Don’t stand like a “deer in the headlights”! Report a bully at http://bullyalarm.us I will personally make sure your principal cannot say “I didn’t know.”
Straight people really have a tough time understanding the concept that we don’t want to be them? that we were not born to be them? and that we were inherently born to be gay and THANK GOD for that…seeing how most hetros are filled with hate, envy, violence, DIVORCE, crime ridden, and fixated on our way of life…I wouldn’t want to be straight. Considering the awful acts STRAIGHTS commit on a near hourly basis…from rape, theft, murders, corruption…it’s also a wonder why more hetrophobia does not exist. The gay people I know don’t go attacking random strangers for being different than them. That’s sadly not the case for many a straight folks. I’m tired of being told gays need to be kind, bite their tongue and “blend in”…THESE stories perfectly illustrate we need to define ourselves, be PROUD of ourselves and role model to kids that being gay does not mean a life full of fear and hate. You can actually grow up and see to it you have a meaningful, loving life full of bliss and being proud to be gay. Hence, PRIDE is important. Pride in yourself, your family, your principles AND your being gay shows the next gay suicidle teen that being gay is not a curse, but a blessing!
I had met Billy through local horse shows. It’s upsetting that this had to happen. It’s not fair that the school will intervene with bullying of some kids but not all. Everyone knew that kids picked on Billy and nothing was ever done about it. I think that what is more upsetting is that it is assumed that Billy was gay. He had never openly admitted that he was. For the news channels and other websites to assume that Billy was gay is just as bad as all the kids that bullied him assuming he was gay. It doesn’t matter whether he was gay or not, he was still bullied beyond what he could handle. It does not make it any worse whether he was gay or straight. No child should be bullied regardless of their (assumed) sexuality. Assumptions can hurt, that should be evident through Billy’s story.
Many teens act in a homophobic because they are scared of being gay, and so they torment their peers. As gays we have failed miserably in getting our message out there: that to be gay is nothing to be ashamed of. But we have no role models. Which role model did this boy have to feel proud of, someone that would have given the straights a moment to pause and reflect? No one. Because we continue supporting closeted actors and their movies and TV shows; idolize porn and the concept of twinks, making people like Brent Corrigan our “stars”; can’t get rid of the myth that we are all fabulous, gorgeous A-listers with lots of disposable income, a house on Fire Island and vacations in Europe; are the first ones to forget about HIV education and safe-sex campaigns; set up this horrific body and beauty standards that, just like bulimic and anorexic girls, our boys cannot live up to. And I could go on and on… There really is not a gay community, no gay brotherhood, because we are our own worst enemies, I am sorry to say. Some of us fight too much or not at all; others are just interested in the partying and drugs and sex; and our so-called leaders, from HRC and other entities, are playing games and filling their pockets with money while we continue to struggle for our rights. We have become anesthetized as a group, and as a nation. Our kids die, schools crumble, politicians rob us, the media is collapsing, snark rules, our taxes go to pay for unpopular wars and our culture becomes more violent. I don’t see a rosy future ahead for us and for our children. At all.
We need to take action and kill off the breeders before it’s too late. I will stand with you, Queer Supremacist.
Oh, this hurts my heart. I happened on this site because I clicked on a headline and then I read the comments. This is a horrendous tragedy and I see that it isn’t the first this year, even. I’ll out myself as a breeder. I have three sons aged 11-16. They all know that their parents support gay rights and have gay friends. I hope that if one (or more) is gay, that he will trust me enough to tell me. My love and support are constant. I say this because I see the (understandable) anger against straight people in these comments, but we’re not all full of hate.
victim of circumstance
I did not know Billy Lucas, but as a gay man who spent countless hours in highschool staring at a rope myself, i feel like i did. i grew up in what is probably the most right-winged town in indiana. coming to terms with my sexuality was both,the hardest, and most dangerous thing i ever did. @jared/ i like what you said about wishing you were there. i learned along time ago, that as soon as suicide crosses your mind, you’re already to far gone to help yourself. the only ones that con help are those around you. so, in order to avoid this from happening again, it’s up to us. i urge everybody to take an interest in those around you. really SEE them. it doesn’t matter if you don’t know the person, if he looks troubled, do whatever the hell you can to fix it. it’s called being a good human being.the only reason i am not dead today is because an english teacher of mine noticed i was acting strange and confronted me about it. i’m not sure why, but i could just sense that he was someone i could trust. i told him i wanted to kill myself. he didn’t tell my parents, or the police, or anything like that. he just gave me a quote. a quote that saved my life. “suicide is a permanent solution, to a temporary problem”. RIP Billy. and, oh yeah, @Queer Supremacist terrorists:muslims as the westborrow baptist church: christianity. my point being that a few stupid extremists have the power to lable the majority. it’s people like you that put a black eye on every homosexual that just wants to live their life the way they want, without stirring trouble. you’re an idiot my friend, and i am ashamed that society forces me to identify myself in the same cattegory as you.
No. 27 · Jimmy Fury wrote, “@Bill Perdue, B, etc.:
Fuck lawsuits. The staff members who knew about the bullying and allowed it (or worse, engaged in it themselves) should be charged with manslaughter.”
… the lawsuit I mentioned was for an incident that did not involve a fatality, and I just reported what happened as a result. Perdue was the person who actually called for a lawsuit. If you don’t like that idea, argue with him.
After a successful suit, many other school districts decided to put in various training programs and procedures to reduce their chances of being sued (and punitive damages if they are sued). Others (like the one in the incident you referring to) simply don’t get it, hence my use of the term “slow learners”.
@spider_orchid: They think this way because of all these hateful Christian churches they go to. And yet we are all supposed to be so accepting of this “good” religion Christianity.. . Pfffft . Give me a break
My heart breaks for this poor kid, especially since I am but 3 years older than he is and lived nearby. I grew up in Ohio but I never really had to deal with flagrant intolerance or bigotry because I had a close circle of friends and I also looked/acted “normal” enough. I was shy & flew under the radar. I was so lucky.
It makes me wish I could do something to help teens like Billy, but I don’t know what to do. I’m trying to understand… why did I have such a much more positive experience growing up just a few hours drive away? Are there any resources on why this varies from school-to-school despite similar demographics? Is Northeast Ohio just really progressive?
I would’ve been his friend. Ugh this ruined my night :((
As heart felt most of the posts are here, I just wish they could be more positive. Cheer-up lighten up a bit. OK? It hearts. I would like to point out that high school bulling is not just a gay issue. Straight guys get targeted too. Yes,they do.
The locals aren’t pressing charges against anyone.
Please ask CNN to cover the horrible Child Death and Cover-Up of Billy Lucas. Please report the names of Bullies and teachers who knew*
@rustyzipper: Rusty, STFU. One of my people just got, essentially, murdered. Don’t tell me to lighten up when a 15 y/o dies.
FITZ-rustyzipper My poor choice of words may seem to be insensitive. Believe me, I share all of the anger and pain. I sit in front of my computer reading these posts and just cry. I tell myself I don’t have to deal with this and wont to just walk away from it. I did a subject search “gay teen support” and came up with with some great organizations that are committed to helping gay teens. When I was a gay teen in the 1960’s, the only choices we had were the closet, the street and the gutter. or suicide. AND NO ONE CARED! Gay teens today have so many resources available to them. It may sound corny, but I recall the phrase “It is better to light one little candle than to curse the darkness.”
Uh, the title of this article left a bad taste in my mouth and is a tad bit cynical. You should consider rewriting it with a whole lot more sensitivity for the subject, given this a gay rights and interest site.
Republicans and Christians don’t give a crap about children. If you are a zygote, embryo, or fetus, they will scream bloody murder, march on the supreme court, and shoot people dead to defend you. But as soon as you pop out, it’s sayonara sucker, tough luck. They even want to strip an hour-old child of the protections it has as a citizen. They give their kids altered textbooks because all they care about is that their kids are Republicans and Christians, too – nothing else matters. If you are gay or any other kind of minority you seriously need to just bide your time until you can get away from those awful people. Even if it is your own family. Christians and Republicans are horrible, thank God the human race is just evolving right past them.
Sorry you all…. i’m not from the United States of America… I live in Latin America so scuse me if you don’t get my english..
I can say when I was 14 or 15 years old, people started to play jokes with me about my sexuality… at that time it was so bad… i felt like there was no one in the world you can talk to… and when my “friends” did it, cause i was so ashamed and embarased about it.. I never told it home… then time went by and it really made me feel like a monster… I tried to kill myself and luck me, my mother found me right in time to be rescued! … i felt so lonely.. it’s horrible this feeling… we feel like there’s no one in the world we can count on with.. And I’ve known so many histories about … i felt i had to share it with you… you have to give a great hug and talk kindly to these ones… a hug can change a life… so i totally support that cause… sorry about my english.. !
oh..and now I can say to you It Gets Better!
So, what exactly is the problem here?
A gay kid does himself in. Killing himself is a mortal sin.
Homosexuality is a mortal sin too. According to some.
Me I just think being gay is icky.
I do not condone violence to anybody.
Yet I think that this kid must have had other issues, and that is the real reason he killed himself.
I think the world would be much better off without the cowards of this world who are too afraid to live their lives in spite of such a handicap as being gay.
The kid is a COWARD for killing himself.
Now he is in hell where he belongs.
@Mr. Enemabag Jones:
“Goddamn I hate straight people.”
Then you aren’t any better than them. This isn’t about perpetuating hate. This is about STOPPING it. I’m saying this as a lesbian who has also been picked on and attempted suicide.
Saying that you hate straight people over this is just as disgusting as hating anyone else. This happened BECAUSE of hate. Christ.
Let’s try love for a change? That is something that people of all religions and walks of life should be able to agree on.
LOVE for everyone.
@Queer Supremacist: Yes, because threatening to act like Hitler is exactly the way to abate the hate and solve the problem…
Look, I’m the world’s biggest ally- I take up the mantle of LGBT rights with as much passion as any member of the LGBT community whom I know… but no matter how difficult the struggle, fighting hate with hate does not work. I don’t know you, so I don’t know if you’re kidding… but seriously. Take a lesson from Dr. King or Gandhi. Keep hope alive and fight the GOOD fight. Don’t threaten to combat violence with violence. We’ve got a crisis on our hands- a legitimate crisis. Teach peace: It can be achieved, I know it.
Wow! That’s sad. I wish he had told his parents and they moved and home schooled him. And he didn’t tell anyone after he moved until he was older, more mature people. Even some of them can be cruel, but he would’ve had a better shot. These kids must be simple to pick on someone like that. I used to tell my son “Never pick on anyone at school. As a matter of fact if you see someone getting picked on, defend them.” He’d come home telling me about a fight he got into sticking up for some kid. He’s a kick boxer now. What kind of parent raised these kids to be bullies, like this? Sad, that’s all I can say. That letter was so damn sad.
Hey… I don’t get it… I thought you poop stabbers believed a fifteen year old boy getting his gutts stirred by another guy was a beautiful act of love…. Perfectly normal and nothing to be ashamed of…. I thought your normalization and desensitization campaign was a success…. Now one of your young and gullible partners has offed himself from shear mortification of this “beautiful” act being celebrated on the internet for all to appreciate.
@David: I bet you think all black people know each other too. You act like a brat in the 7th grade.
@Lizzz: You are so right. I have learned that people who want to kill themselves just clean up their house and kill themselves. They do not seek help and they do not go around talking about it. This is extremely sad. We have to address the desperation that sends any and all suicidal people into such crisis. It goes without saying that we should treat each other better. There are a lot of people who end their lives and always have. Most of the time these people opt for a permanent solution to a temporary problem. They are gone and all of us are still here. We have to demand dysfunctional people explain themselves and their bullshit instead of giving anyone credibility by feeling defensive for ignorant belief systems that are not our own.
Is it possible that DAVID & EWE are the same person? I wonder.
Could QUEER SUPREMACIST… Well I just wonder. Most people are not sociopaths. And you know.. I think that the perpetrators of bulling will grow into adulthood with a conscience. They will have memories of regret. True, some will find comfort in the hate rhetoric of adult bullies like Rush Limbaugh and Pat Robertson, but I would like to stress the point that straight people should not be perceived as an enemy of the gay community. This kind of thinking separates and divides and only isolates gays. There has been, and continues to be many gay people who contribute to society. In art, literature, music, science and on and on. Teen suicide for what ever reason, gay or straight, affects us deeply. I get the feeling that as gay adults we care about our younger brothers and sisters. And we wont them to know it.
Woww I’m disappointed. This so called “free nation” is probably one of the most depressive when it comes to homosexuality and racial differences. This kid was beautiful, he was just in the wrong place. The US is probably the country that wastes beautiful, good looking gay the most.
In this day and age, bullying like this is UNACCEPTABLE. Granted that bullying in schools has always existed, even when I was in elementary and high school. But I think that it’s much worse now. I was pretty much in the closet before I graduated high school in 78. I didn’t have to be, but that’s how I chose to handle it at the time. Many more kids are out now before graduating high school; and thanks to programs like “Safe Schools”, “GLSEN”, and the various Gay/Straight groups in high schools across this country, being open gay has been much easier. Unfortunately, bullying has not gone away, and for bullying to be so bad that it causes young kids to commit suicide is COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE. So we all have to stand together and fight this scourge of hate that still exists in many of our schools today before it’s too late. Your son or daughter, brother or sister could be next so please lets love and embrace them and say that it’s ok for them to be who they are.
@Mr. Enemabag Jones: I find that really offensive. Make sure you read what you’re writing before you submit it. Every straight person doesn’t hate the LGBT community. I’m actually pretty enraged myself over the suicides that happened last month, and I’m a straight female. I’m also only 14 years old. I’m doing a project for my communications class on LGBT discrimination and how it should end. Once again, please know that not every straight person is out to get you.
@rustyzipper: No, i am only commenting with one username. For you to assume i comment as David is proof you are out of your mind or at the very least, paranoid. I would never in my life say such generalized hateful ignorant things about gay people. You are confused considering the fact that what i said about this topic is quite similar to your own statements.
Oh goodness gratuitous me… you’re juss a bunch of haters… and I hate haters… Oh my… that makes me a hater… no.. I’m worse than a hater…. I’m a gayter… I just hate myself! : )
@ewe: Yes, I do have a problem with paranoia. I hope you will accept my apologies.
@rustyzipper: I do. we all make mistakes and i certainly do quite often. But the difference between yours and mine compared to someone like the commenter David is that ours are not intentionally malicious. We actually try to prove some points, not attack people because we are afraid of dealing with our own fears. David is a stupid person who chose long ago not to think.
@David: I do not know your age but i will repeat what i previously said because that is all your really worth anyway. You act like a brat in the seventh grade.
LOL @ at the cowards who prefer to curl up into a ball and pretends nothing is happening instead of growing a spine and fighting for their rights.
Sorry sis, but we have been trying the kumbaya approach for decades and it ain’t working.
Yes!. YEs!. YES!. No more kuhmbiah… punish me please… Just roll me up in a ball, through me in the corner and pee all over me……. spankings are soo yesterday.
So so so awful. I want people to know that there are many straight people, myself included, that think this is awful tragedy. Nobody should be picked on or bullied, least of all for being gay. Personally, I just don’t see what the big deal is in loving someone of the same sex. We have a melting planet, kids being given guns or traded as sex slaves all over the world, and so many other things to worry about. We should all be working together to make this planet a tolerant and loving (and HEALTHY) place. Please, please, please know that there are plenty of us straight folks whose hearts are breaking for this young boy and the many, many other teens (and adults) who are being tormented by unfeeling losers. May his death not be in vain – let’s hope it makes just one person think twice about bullying someone they deem as different.
This is horrible. We just had a assembley on the story of, ‘Ryan’s Story’. He to was a victum of being called, ‘gay’, and being tricked. He wasn’t even gay, to start off, and even after the kid commited suicide, he continued to talk about Ryan in an ill manner! What are wrong with kids? Can’t you see that your actions could take someones LIFE!? What will it matter in 5 years from now if decided to leave the kid alone!? It MIGHT GET THEM KILLED, KILLED!!!!!!! IF YOU DON’T!? What is going through their sick heads? How can they think it’s the right thing to do!? And they have the NERVE to pick on kids because they are gay, or bio, or have a mental or physical issue, when really THEY are the monster, THEY are the abnormal ones, THEY are the ones who deserve dirt! I just DON’T get the logic in this! I just don’t see the reasons.
I am a tween, and I plead to two people out there, special.
1. The idotic kids who want to do this…this horrible crime onto kids who are less fortunate, or has a different perspectives. Just don’t. You could be saving someones life, and WHO KNOWS! You could be svaing your own life! What if the kid you are picking on decided that suicide is not the way to go but homicide instead!
2. I especially plead out to the kids who ARE being picked on. I say this to you now… something Ryan’s dad didn’t get the chance to tell Ryan before he passed away… a quote that his art teacher told him when he was in school, after a kid commited suiced. Ryan dad’s pleaded this out to us… and I plead this out to you:
You can change an ink blot into a butterfly. You can change problmes or situations into good things.
Head this, PLEASE! Please, do not think about the negativity around you, but the joy in life! The wonders, and the adventures! Think of the future, if the present or past is not happy. Think of it, DREAM OF IT. Also know, once you’re gone, there can never be another you. You are gone. Period. So please, Don’t. If you can’t find or think of someones who cares about you that you know; read these messages around this, and think about the people that you don’t know.. or you don’t yet know, and think about how much they care about you. I care, along with millions of others.
I hope this has an affect, thank you.
KIKI, I am a Christian Republican and I am pro-choice and pro gay marriage. How very closed minded of you to assume all Christians and Republicans are as ignorant as you.
If you are pro-GLBT rights and pro-choice you need to wake up and stop voting republican. The republican is so far to the right at the moment that the people who are being voted out as “not conservative enough” are far more conservative than all the republican leaders 20 years ago. Their ONLY agenda is to remove/block civil rights and stop us from moving forward on social issues.
Hitler killed innocent people. The people whose heads I’m calling for are not.
You say we should take a page from Dr. King and Gandhi. We have tried nonviolent resistance, peaceful protests, candlelight vigils, and the like, and this crap continues. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again in the exact same manner and expecting different results.
We need to take a page from our founding fathers, a page a page from Nat Turner, a page from John Brown, a page from Abraham Lincoln, a page from William Tecumseh Sherman, a page from Winston Churchill, a page from Franklin D. Roosevelt, a page from Gen. George Patton, and a page from Malcolm X. What they all had in common is that they were willing to use force in the name of freedom. They differed on many particulars, but they were all fighters. And this is what we will do to show the breeders that you cannot fuck with the queers and get away with it. You may hate us, but we hate you ten times more. And we will give back to you everything we get from you and then some.
Stonewall was a RIOT, people, not a tea party.
@Queer Supremacist: I can not deny that there is a lot of gratitude due to the veterans of Stonewall. But, CHILL OUT DUDE! This is NOT a police state we live in. This is NOT Nazi Germany. George Bush left office peacefully. Our constitutional law is intact. I know there are many things I am ignorant of, but I also know that there are things beyond my control. Thanks to whoever for that.
wow thats just a horrible thing to saying youll kill people with an ax after these poor kids kill them selves. thats no way to remeber them by. Douchbag
This is STILL really upsetting.
I think i’ve cried probably every day this week because of this. It hurts because i used to face this kind of hate at school all the time. And i know what its like to feel like there is no hope. To know that being gay isnt accepted at school OR at home. Kids can be so vicious, and they think its all a game. I can only imagine the pain the families are going through. This is just so tragic.
i dont support homosexuality. AT ALL.
I still want to cry when i read this.
There are many things people need to realize.
These bullies were probably insecure teenagers who have to take their anger out on others to make it easier for them to cope with their own unhappy lives, does that make them murderers? no. And as for the kids who kill themselves, people get bullied everyday for being tall, for their ethnicity, for being gay…..does that mean we kill ourselves?! NO! these gay teens obviously were already inclined to be unhappy with their lives.
Parents try and love…..kids are confused and can be mean……theres really no one to blame……its just a sad sad scenario
I don’t support heterosexuality – AT ALL
Still, I feel sorry for the children of bigoted heterosexuals.
@Mr. Enemabag Jones: I agree that action needs to be taken, but that kind of generalizing, hateful attitude makes you no better than the bullies. Those kinds of comments promote the wrong approach. You can’t fight hate with hate.
maybe if he wasnt such a faggot they wouldn’t have made fun of him…. just saying…
noelle and john
you two are a pair of retarded shit-stains on the grubby underpants of life.
I hope you both die horribly and in terrible pain
@tallskin2: You made my day, as well as others, I am sure. Thanks
You see, I found out about this because an invitation for Stopping Homophobia on Facebook. So, in a moth and a half or two, 6 children have killed themselves because of their sexuality? How absurd is that? The fact that some people lead them to think of suicide. The question arises then, Why? Why do people have to bother others? To feel god about themselves? Because, excuse me but, making someone think of suicide is awful. I could never forgive myself. Never. Besides, what’s the point? To have a good laugh? To feel good? Go look for some online jokes to laugh for god’s sake. But why, why waste time in such things? Why bother? The word fag, or faggot, should be fucking illegal. You know, 13 year old children, MY AGE. I AM 13. At my age, the word suicide has never crossed my mind. I don’t live a perfect life. I don’t, I fight, I cry, I fail, I hate my self sometimes, but no. Never. Why? Why commit suicide when you have an awesome life in front of you? It’s a gift. A wonderful gift. So why people, why bother? Why make someone feel bad to feel good yourself?
Don’t. Think twice. Or is it that people like that, don’t feel? Don’t think? Don’t appreciate? Don’t take someone’s gift away… Let them live it. Use it. Think.
cruel cruel bitch. your a horrible person who can FUCK OFF!
I think that some people commenting about lawsuits are retarded.
Honestly, money wont heal wounds.
I’m gay, and the shit I went threw made me cut so many times, and nearly end it.
All you need really is just… Mental power.
I wish people wouldn’t be as cruel, but thats the world.
I for one, am sick of this same old shit.
Some kid gets hurt for nothing.
I mean honestly…. Fucking Christian kids are fed bullshit so they believe in something completely retarded.
LGBT people just need to realize, the kids that pick on them have been fed lies. They know really nothing. Just Illuminati pawns waiting for the chance to “dominate” the “unworthy.”
I don’t know if anyone else understands my logic, but I sure as hell do. Mainly, we need someone. Someone willing to fix this. Someone with the power. This’ll just be another Martin Luther thing. It’ll all be over with eventually. Until then, we will endure, and we will have the scars to prove it.
@Bill Perdue: Wow, are you sure you’re an adult? You seem like you’re just an idiot to me. I just can’t comprehend how anyone can be so dumb. You don’t like this, but you enjoy hating straight people? If you were straight would you be the cause of a death like this? Because you act like it. Where I live if you have a problem with gay or bi people YOU’RE the weird one. I hope this isn’t who you really are.
The kids who bullied Billy Lucas wanted him to die, and now they got what they wanted. No doubt they are all absolutely satisfied with the result and given the success of their enterprise thus far, they will now be emboldened to try it again on other gay kids, or straight kids who seem gay to them in some way.
Incitement to kill is a crime, but is this a crime to incite murder if the murder you wish to take place is of someone else by themself? As a priority, measures should be being taken to find out how many other gay kids these children told to kill themselves. If incitement to suicide is a crime, then without question, those responsible should be charged with the offence.
A lot of people posting on hate sites like YouTube are saying that all gay people should kill themselves and this no doubt impacts on gay teenagers using YouTube and other bully sites.
It is reassuring to note however that while YouTube and its ilk are swamped by hate and violence, the thumbs ups and thumbs downs indicate that the majority are not in support of all gay teens taking their own lives as you might otherwise believe from reading the reams of anti-homosexual rhetoric, most of it coming from self-proclaimed Christians.
While I am sure that Christians as a rule deplore bullying, violence and suicide, sadly the message given out at some of the more evangelical sects run by profiteering hucksters are at the very root cause of holier-than-thou grandstanding ultimately leading to youth gangs feeling justified in attacking defenceless kids half their size.
Gay kids can only take so much before they come to the conclusion that they have no future, if all it holds for them is universal hate and violence from their home, their peers, their school and their church. To such children, death is a merciful release.
May they rest in peace
@Mr. Enemabag Jones: Wait right there! I’m straight and I’m just as disgusted as you about this issue and blaming ALL straight people is not the answer. GLBT teenagers need more GLBT role models to look up to. They need to know that when there are assholes out there telling them they’re no good and going to hell, there are two more good people out there telling them, “You are somebody.”
You are so right. Without the love and support of straight people motiviated by love and a sense of justice, LGBT rights would have gotten nowhere. We need to acknowledge the lawmakers who committed potential electoral suicide by standing up for us, with nothing to gain personally and plenty to lose.
We need to thank the parents and friends of LGBT people who never once diminished their love and support for their children, or for others whose lives have been destroyed by hate to such an extent that they would take their own young life before they even lived it.
To you and others like you, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
All of you – whether straight or gay, are total faggots. Get the fuck off the planet and take your colostomy bags with you.
Hmmm, so you’re an example of a ‘Christian’? I never heard of the real Jesus Christ ever telling gay people to “get the fuck off the planet”, nor anyone else in creation.
There are more than 34,000 denominations of Christianity on the planet, so you can easily find a religion to suit your prejudices, and your budget. Go Google it and you will find out. Many now ordain openly lesbian and gay clergy, and warmly welcome LGBT parishioners into their congregations with open hearts, open arms and open minds, clearly not something you’ve been blessed with.
The only person I ever knew with “a colostomy bag” you’re spitefully suggesting, was a dear friend who was a survivor of a serious cancer operation, and she was an out-and-out heterosexual – not gay at all.
What a shame it is you’re such nasty piece of work. I hope you get over whatever psychosis ails you. But you’ve done us a service in a way, because in our war against hate, you’ve reminded us that “the price of freedom is eternal vigilance”.
Bully has been going on for ages. Stop raising sissy ass faggots who hang themselves because someone calls them a gay slur.
Lots of crime has been “going on for ages”. That’s no reason for you to say it should continue. Kids aged 11-18 who kill themselves in such numbers may well be ‘sissy ass faggots’ but I’d like to know how you’d deal with being surrounded by large numbers of abusive boys twice your own size, who do nothing every day but shove hate on you and beat you up every day of your short life.
The likelihood is, you would cry like a baby. The fact you didn’t even post your name shows you don’t really have the courage of your convictions – and given your contemptuous support of criminality, I would not be in the least surprised if you have a few more convictions, of a different kind.
I feel just how Billy Lucas did. I also have been bullied so much, and might do the same thing.
@Jan: Well don’t.
If you’re being bullied then go the counselor at your school and tell them. You don’t have to tell them you ARE gay, if you are, just that you’re being victimized. Don’t ask for their help, demand it. That’s what they’re there for.
Or go to the Trevor Project or any other online resource for teens, LGBT or not.
A gay message board like Queerty can’t address your needs but there are many places that can, including some in your own school. Take it to the school-board if you have to.
I just feel hopeless.
I gotta say that when I read some of these comments, all I can think of is Holy Shit!
I’m straight, and I’m just as morally offended as all of you. Its kinda sad though that many of you are calling for the murder of all straight people. You’re basically acting like the equivalent of the Westboro Baptist church, Christian fundamentalists, Clint McCance, and others, but the opposite side of the spectrum.
I’m on your side here, I’ve spoken out frequently for gay rights, and its kinda scary that some of you would want me murdered too. I’ve NEVER had a problem with gays, and if I had a gay child I would love and accept them unconditionally.
I can’t say that I know exactly what its like to be a gay youth, although I can tell you that I WAS bullied-mercilessly. Theres enough hate in the world already, especially with the bullying that caused these individuals to do something like this. Don’t add to the ugliness of the world, you’re better than that.
@Jeff: Thank you so much for your support. I’m very sorry if you feel there are people in this forum calling for all straight people to be murdered. I am certainly not such a one, and I hope that after no more than a second’s thought, you’ll accept that people who call for something so ridiculous, to say nothing of utterly illegal, don’t represent my views, nor those of anyone I know.
The great majority of my family, friends and colleagues are straight, and all know that I am gay. We respect each other and we don’t try to change each other. And were it not for my heterosexual parents falling in love 60 years ago, I and my siblings would not even exist.
It’s good to know you’re still on our side, despite some of the snide commentary you’ve observed, and that you managed to survive being bullied as a child.
The gay community will always have my support. DESPITE what some of the comments I’ve read, and the opinions of the more “extremist” individuals, I would fight just as hard as you for equal rights and protection under the law. I judge everyone on a person-by-person basis, so don’t worry, comments like that are not nearly enough for me to hold a grudge toward the gay community 🙂
Peace to you, my friend!
Conversations of a civil war against the homosexual community and the heterosexual community are absurd; no one has time for this.
http://bullyalarm.us was built in memory of Billy Lucas and his family. The community which failed to support him must live with the continued shame of guilt by ambivalence and/or neglect. Bully Alarm has assisted children and young adults in 4 countries and continues to alert schools and administration officials of the bully, the victim, and any other pertinent information.
Billy Lucas will be remembered one way or another. RIP Billy. Stop the hate!
“I gotta say that when I read some of these comments, all I can think of is Holy Shit!”
This is an anonymous forum, so the best likelihood is that the people posting variations of ‘death to heterosexuals’ are immature emotionally stunted individuals who think it is funny to pretend to be gay and post incendiary bs on the ‘net.
It is even possible that the aforementioned posts were spammed by professional homophobes – they’ve been known to fake death threats to their own offices and organizations, faking “gay terrorism” would not be a stretch for them.
Im a straight male, I heard about billy killing himself from a new rise against song. Its fucking shameful that people cant grow up and accept everyone for who they are. Im often called gay for defending gay people ( im straight, but support gay rights)
@Luke: Thank you Luke. Without you and those like you, we would be nowhere, simply because we’re outnumbered 10 to 1.
It’s interesting to hear you say that you often get labelled as ‘gay’ when you support gay rights. My response would be to ask those who are saying this, whether they believe that only women could possibly support equal rights for females and that only blacks could be against racism.
I would just like to say…I am a straight female ally and have been since I was about 13, so 10 years now. Stories like this make me sick to my stomach. It is because of the tragic loss of a precious life like Billy’s that I started donating to The Trevor Project. I can’t afford much but I know there are teens out there that need the help and support much more than I do.
To the gay men and women who hate straight people…I’m sorry that you feel that way but please try to understand that fighting hate with hate will accomplish nothing. I am on your side. I can’t stand homophobes and when I hear stories like this (which unfortunately has been too many times) I want to go to the school and shake all the administrators and just say “What the hell is wrong with all of you that you sit back and let this happen?!” But hating on ALL straight people because of this is not the way to go. You are so much better than that. Yes, some straight people are closed minded but not all are and I am proud to say that I am one of them.
Turn your rage into something productive. I have. I’m currently working on trying to open a safe haven house for LGBT youth who can no longer stay in their homes because their parents kicked them out because of who they are. It may take a while to get there but it’s more productive then sitting around just being angry all the time.
I really feel like Billy. I have been through the same bullying as Billy so much, that I think of doing the same thing as Billy.
Billy and I have a lot in common.
Jan – hang in there, things ARE getting better, even though it doesn’t seem like it right now, and please be around to enjoy it when they do. School ends, the bullies grow up, and hopefully some will become human, but you WILL be able to escape the hell you’re in right now.
Please check out the following sites:
I hope you will find help soon.
Take care, please don’t give up.
While I appreciate Derek’s thoughts, Jan, hang is probably not an appropriate word. And Derek, bullies don’t really grow up. The worst of them are sociopaths and end up in prison eventually. Look back on the ones who abused you in school and that is where you will find them; not in responsible jobs like most of us.
Alert Bully Alarm (confidentially) and then the help can begin. Many schools look the other way, as the sociopathic bully has everyone fooled. Other kids may join in, but they are not truly bullies, but merely go along to avoid the bully’s rath.
What happened to Billy happened at two different schools. Bullies target Billy-types who are guilty of nothing but being wonderfully-different. Our greatest artists and scientists were anything but normal, average, mainstream. That was their brilliance.
Jan, you are special. You and everyone will learn that someday. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. It gets much better when you get around people who share your ideas and your genius. Report that bully, and let others work for you. Or, get a friend to anonymously go online and do it. http://bullyalarm.us
Bully Alarm has helped schools in 3 countries already. England seems to be the most proactive about jumping on these problems/bullies. sadly, the US and Canada aren’t as great at it. Schools, unless forced, seem to avoid the problem until forced.
Best of luck. Your future is bright!
The more I keep thinking about how I have been bullied, the more I just
don’t want to live anymore.
“Don’t cry over what is gone, smile about what remains. No matter what it is that you lost, you can still always find value in what is left.”
And, I can only echo Deb’s words at Post #109. Have you contacted these groups? What was the result?
There is lots you can do, including suing your school for not stopping the bullying in its tracks. If not now, then you will still be able to after you have left school. I personally have handled legal cases like this for bullied gay students who were eventually awarded 6 figure sums, and all the settlements were made out of court because the (Catholic) high schools didn’t want their names dragged through the press. It was achieved at no cost to the student, by using pro bono legal representation.
In addition to the sites Deb and I have referred you to, there is also http://www.matthewshepard.org
There is a very good reason why friends and parents have gone to so much trouble to set up these resources for you and other people in your position. We want you to live! We want you to get through the pain and out of your troubles now, to a better place in this world, not the next.
Please look at what President Obama and Joe Biden have to say to you and other bullied teens personally:
Please know that the world is changing faster than you can imagine, and it’s in your favour. I am not sure which country you live in, but homosexuality is now legal in 125 out of the 195 countries of the world, is supported by the United Nations and Amnesty International. President Obama has overturned the DADT policy so LGBT can now openly serve their country in the military. DOMA is on its way out, and gay marriage is on its way in. In the US, there are a huge number of organiations that support LGBT; here is just a quick sample, but there are thousands more out there:
The American Medical Association, American Psychological Association, American Anthropological Association, World Health Organisation, American Academy of Pediatrics, Child Welfare League of America, National Association of Social Workers, North American Council on Adoptable Children, American Psychoanalytic Association, American Academy of Family Physicians, American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, Council on Child and Adolescent Health, American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, Mental Health America, California Psychological Association, American Counselling Association, American Sociological Association, American School Health Association, National Association of School Psychologists, not to mention countless universities, local governments, labor unions, and virtually every human rights organisation that exists.
Wherever you are, I sincerely want you to get through this. I was never bullied myself, but I do know what depression and self hatred was like for me as a teenager. I am a suicide survivor too. I am so glad I didn’t succeed, beacuse life nowadays is sweeter than you can imagine.
All the best to you Jan.
Write back to this page and keep communicating. We want to know how you’re getting on.
It keeps getting worse. Every time I walk on the street, I get laughed at and teased. Some actually throw things at me and beat me up. I just can’t take it anymore.
Jan, can you talk to parents about this? Any teachers or the counsellor at school? Or have you tried that already and it has not worked?
I can offer some suggestions, but only you know how safe it will be to carry these out. In a school situation, many teachers are unaware of bullying until it’s brought to their attention.
Evidence and legal action:
Can you record the incidents on a mobile phone, secretly using audio if video is too difficult to do openly? Or do you have a brother, sister, other relative, classmate or friend who could help in recording some of these assaults? Once you have this evidence, you can take it to the Police if they are throwing objects at you assault you, and it’s a lot easier with proof. Once your attackers have been identified, if anything bad happens to you after that, they become prime suspects, and subconsciously this is something they would soon realise. In most legal frameworks, threatening someone with assault is equivalent to actually committing an assault, but it would pay to read up on the law as much as you have access to. Going to the Police now and explaining your situation might help anyway, as they may offer you helpful advice. It is definitely a criminal matter, but it matters a lot how you communicate with your bullies in the process, so they don’t become even more vindictive.
Dealing with incidents of harassment in class:
Sit near the front of the classroom. If a bully does something to you, get out of your chair and yell out the name of the person and what they did, using bad language so as to get yourself in trouble with the teacher. An example of the sort of thing I mean might be, (let’s assume the bully’s name is ‘Spu’d, “Don’t call me a fucking faggot, Spud you asshole. What did I do to you? Spud? Huh?” Repeat back word for word what they said, and say exactly how you feel – practise ahead of time so you can say it all fluently. But it must be genuine and heartfelt. Yell and go red in the face, kick furniture around if you have to. The whole time, look them directly in the eye, never once averting your gaze. This should intimidate the bully.
The rationale here, is that you are not “telling” on the bully, but instead, creating a public incident by standing up to him in front of a powerful witness, the teacher, which means you will be safe. Of course make sure it is a teacher with good classroom management skills. The teacher will be forced to record this incident in the school diary. Additionally, by repeatedly using the bully’s name when directly addressing him, you take away some of his power. Also, many students will see it as terribly unfair if you get punished for your outburst, because they know you are not in the wrong, and so you will earn a little bit of sympathy from the more decent folk, and some grudging respect from the rest. It will also give you a chance later on to articulate privately to the teacher why you did what you did. Your outburst must be centred on reasonableness and not be childish in any way.
Avoid going near large groups of students. Instead, try to strike up a conversation with an individual, alone. As above, use their first name often, and always look them in the eye while you talk to them. Ask questions. Some possibilities might be “How are you?” “Did you see xxyyzz program on TV last night?” “What to you think about [name your issue]?”. Plan these ahead of time. People will think you’re a more interesting person if you show interest in them, even if they never ask about you. You can still insert a little comment about your own views, because they’re every bit as valid as theirs. Always go into detail about what you think and what you feel. A lot of bullying problems are made worse by inability to communicate. It sounds as though you’re probably a bit short of friends right now. But this can help a lot to get you through times when you are depressed and at your wits end. This is where talking to individual students can help a lot. Joining in activities, coming up with your own ideas, contributing to group work all helps, although i know overcoming shyness can make this difficult.
Right of access:
When you are walking through the school, you have the absolute right not to be tripped over, intimidated or yelled at. Walk briskly and confidently, looking up rather than at the ground. If someone gets in your way, then using their name, in a reasonable tone of voice, you can ask, “Why are you doing this, Spud?” “Is there a problem that is making you treat me like this?” “Did I do something to you? I can’t apologise to you unless you tell me what it was that I did to you.” (They won’t of course, but hopefully they will think about it for a second) “Spud, I want to get to the canteen, and you’re preventing me from getting there by standing in my way. What choice have you given me but to take the matter somewhere else? This can’ go on like this.” It’s important for this not to sound forumula-like, but from the heart, speaking directly to them, trying to appeal to their better nature, modulating your voice to reflect you emotion, but being assertive. Don’t allow yourself to be interrupted. If they interrupt you, just keep talking without stopping until you’ve finished. if they keep doing it, “I haven’t finished, let me finish.” When it’s their turn, be sure not to interrupt them no matter how long they talk.
If someone yells out abuse at you across the playground, you can try going directly over to them so the whole school doesn’t have to hear the exchange. Ask “why did you say that to me?” – more than once if they don’t answer.
Stay in sight of teachers as much as possible so they’re aware of what is happening. It would help to take one or more into your confidence ahead of time and explain what you’re trying to do.
We’ve very little information from you to go on here Jan, and I am not sure whether you’re even still a student, but I hope that one or more of these thoughts will be a start. Please let us know if any of this works for you. And I can only stress, unless there are serious communication issues or other problems at home, then the first and foremost asset you have in fighting this will be your family. If there are problems at home you may need to contact a helpline independently and discreetly as well.
I am always by myself. When I go in the bathroom at school, that is when I really
get beat up. I am so scared, that is why I just want to end my life.
Whom have you talked to about this?
@Mr. Enemabag Jones:
”!<– lol homo!!!!
It’s getting so bad for me now, that I am thinking more and more about just ending my life
now. The same people who bully me tell me to kill myself now.
Jan, I have been sending you quite long replies to your posts with no real knowledge of your personal circumstances or whether the information has been any use to you. If you can be more specific, without identifying yourself in any way of course, we may be able to offer more specific assistance local to your area. At this stage, we don’t even know which country you live in, or how old you are. Whether you’re gay or not is also not important; it is the attacks that must be stopped, and clearly for that to happen something needs to be done as soon as possible. So we need a little more information.
If you can answer some of the questions I’ve asked you, that will make it a lot easier for us to get you some help. Here they are again:
1. Have you tried to get help from within the school? If so, with what result?
2. Have you talked this over with your parents? If so, with what result?
3. Have you contacted the Police? If so, with what result?
3. Have you contacted any of the organisations whose links we gave you? If so, with what result?
4. Which country do live in? If possible identify the state as well. Once we know this, we can find out your legal rights regarding hate crime assault, discrimination and vilification. Rest assured Jan, it won’t identify you in any way.
5. Is the school a general state school, or a private religious one?
6. Is it a single sex or co-ed school and if co-ed who are the worst bullies?
Jan, if you can answer as many of these questions as you feel comfortable responding to, I will do some research for and come up with specific strategies and more localised contacts.
All the best
I live in the U.S. & have been openly gay for quite awaile
Good for you Jan, you have come out, well done! Now of course it is even more important that these bullies are brought into line, because we’re re-writing history here. If you can succeed in bringing them to their senses, it will help other LGBT teenagers feel more confident. The as yet unanswered question is of course, how.
Can you shed any more light on my other five questions? To work out the next strategy, it will help to know what you’ve already tried that has not worked so we don’t repeat any past mistakes.
The most important by far is, apart from what you’ve been posting here on this site, have you been able to tell anybody else about what is going on? If not, what was the reason for this? Are there other openly LGBT students at your school? If so, how are they surviving? They could be a support for you. You could try establishing a GLSEN network at your school. Check out: http://www.glsen.org
Having a student who is contemplating suicide because of bullying is a very serious situation that needs high-level intervention as soon as possible. Here’s a thought: have you considered writing a letter to President Obama or Vice President Joe Biden? They’ve both reached out strongly to LGBT youth as you saw in the video links I posted, and through delegation may be able to set something in motion in your state. You can also write to the school board, to your local representative, the Governor of your state. You can in your letters name as much or as little as you like, but for anyone to be able help you, you need to take someone into your confidence and the sooner the better. The more detail the better. The fact that you’re openly gay makes it so much easier because you don’t have to hide in the closet.
The hardest part is getting inside the heads of the bullies so they stop what it is they’re doing. But this can be handled. You must get an adult to help you. Please tell us what you’ve done so far.
It disgusts me that people would tell people to kill themselves over something as their sexual preference, I’m straight and I think that the people bullying these kids just need to be taught that is isn’t okay, I don’t deal with being bullied anymore, because instead of taking my life, or crying, I stopped it, when someone sees the end tip of a knife touching their stomach, they shut up quick.
I’m not saying you should go to the lengths I did to stop bullying, but stand up for yourself, show them that you are someone who stands up for themselves.
To add to the above post, get adult help first before taking anything into your own hands, but sometimes you do need to solve it yourself.
To Anon, thanks for your input, always great to get another perspective from a supportive straight person. The problem I see with one person taking a knife to use against 15 strapping bullies twice your size is that it can be prised out of your hand in two seconds flat and used against you. We’ve all nurtured these fantasies of getting even big time like in the movie Carrie. Many of the high school shooting massacres such as Columbine originated with relentless bullying. Sadly it was not just the bullies who got assassinated. Despite all these high school massacres, too many administrations do nothing to prevent the reason for them occurring in the first place, with some teachers, incredibly adding to the problem by also calling the gay student a faggot. What I wish would happen is for the victim to get angry enough to handle the situation themself as you say, but non-violently through going above the heads of the schools who fail to deal with it, all the way to the White House if necessary, involving the media. When you have nothing left to lose it’s time to turn self pity into outrage and outrage into action tbat has some chance of succeeding.
To Jan again, I also want to advise you to immediately begin a diary of what is going on. You’ll need to document the following:
1. Date and time the offence took place
2. Names of those responsible
3. Names of witnesses
4. Whether the witnesses appeared to condone the bullying
5. The actual words used and who said them
6. What brought it to an end (e.g. “the school bell rang”)
7. Any aftermath (e.g. intervention by a teacher)
8. Make a photocopy or duplicate and hide in your bedroom and/or email it to yourself
You can do this retrospectively as well, go as far back as you can remember. This will then be the evidence for your next step, which will be a formal complaint when you’re ready to do it. The complaint can go to any or all of the following:
1. school principal
2. school counsellor
3. your parents
4. the school board
5. the police
6. the director of the state education authority
7. the state governor
8. your local member of parliament
9. PFLAG, bullyalarm, the trevor project, matthew shepard foundation
10. the media (first check their track record on LGBT rights though)
11. President Obama and Vice President Biden
It sounds as though things can’t get any worse than they already are right now, so I strongly urge you to take the steps that are outlned and as you think fit your personal situation.
I should have also mentioned to include in your diary the details of any physical attack against you and whether other threats were made (e.g. against another member of your family).
Remember that any threat to assault you is legally itself deemed to be assault in its own right.
All these comments are making me more depressed about my life. I just can’t
take it anymore. That’s why I just want to end it all now.
Jan we’re just fellow LGBT folk doing our best on the basis of almost no information at all, to try and give you a ray of sunshine to prise through your prism of despair.
However we’re not specialists, so you must seek help from an adult you can trust.
Not only is taking your own life handing victory on a plate to the bullies but it is taking away hope from other LGBT students who want you to win. If your school has 1000 students then there wil likely be at least 40 other LGBT students besides yourself. They want you to get through this, so they can have a chance at life too, and come out of that dark closet just like you have in your first step towards self-affirmation. By getting yourself through this, you may be able to connect with them. Have you thought about this?
Here’s another tidbit of information: Did you know, the worst homophobes are often closet gays, attacking you so no-one will guess they’re gay themselves. Check out this link: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8772014 It will help you if you fully inform yourself on the facts about homosexuality to rebut their hateful comments. Here is a good place to start: http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/sexual-orientation.aspx
Not everyone in this world is a nasty piece of work like those who are assaulting you. Give the other, good people a chance to do something, to help you. Get help from an adult.
I myself have been through a suicide attempt, which failed, causing diffuse brain damage in the process. I thought I carbon monoxide couldn’t fail to kill me. Well I was wrong, and I am lucky to have had the career I did in spite of what I did to myself. Given the same choice again, I would never take my own life. It was the single stupidest thing I have ever done.
Please will you listen to all of us who have been through this ourselves. We understand what your depression is like, because we’ve been there too, not always for identical reasons, but in the end it comes down to self hatred. You are worth so much more than that.
It was for many of us the worst time in our lives but it did get better. Years from now, you will look back on the horror you’re going through now, and will celebrate your victory over it. The bullies aren’t an important part of your future, they are, simply put, a horrible part of your present. Even just surviving is a victory, but I am sure you have so much more to offer the world.
Give life a chance. Don’t do this thing. Please Jan, will you get help from an adult you can trust?
@Mr. Enemabag Jones:
Yeah that’s gonna make things better! Hating straight people? You are not a bit better than a gay basher! I have lots of straight AND gay friends (I’m gay myself). Maybe it’s because I treath everyone with respect, or because I don’t judge people by what they ARE (black, white, straight, gay, fat, slim, tall or short). I judge them by what the DO. If someone uses violence against me, that is an asshole (and I beat him half to death, I’ m stronger than I appear:P). If someone stands up for me, that’s a nice person. It doesn’t matter if he/she is straight or gay… It’s about the person, not the sexuality. I think we should educate, not fight… And gaybashers should be dealth with (legally! Do not EVER harm them yourselve, you can go to jail! (Self defence is diferent, for obvious reasons…))
@Mr. Enemabag Jones: Not all heterosexuals are this way. I am one, and strongly support gay rights. And it isn’t this tough being gay everywhere, it seems like the kid lived in a rural community. The super-religious half of my extended family (who aren’t so tolerant) are all Christians that live in Eastern Colorado, which is a place that puts you down for being different in any way. They all have the same beliefs as each other, and have run outsiders out of town. I’m not saying that all, or even most, Christians are like this, but just that it’s really tough being different (not just gay, but different) in that kind of community. My advice to anyone in that situation is to run off the first chance that you get, and go live in a large suburb or some sort of city, where there are many different kinds of people who won’t give a crap about your differences.
it is an absolute tragedy that kids are being pushed to these extremes. i am a “straight” female. but i have family and friends who are gay and lesbian. my sister was gay and she unfortunately took he own life in 2004. she was never accepted by others, she was 20 when she dies. despite the love and acceptance we gave her…it wasnt enough. as a teenager i stood up for my LGBT friends. i even physically fought for them. someone had to, the adults didnt care. i dont understand how someone can stand by and watch this and do nothing. it is truly disgusting to me. these children are loved and there are people, strangers even who care about them and who they are important to. i am also a mother of 5 and you better damn well believe that if any of my kids or their friends are being treated like this… the school board and every person who stands by and does nothing will know what true hell is. i wasnt able to defend my sister the way i was able to do with some of my friends, and that kills me everyday, but i can make a difference now. and i will. no one should ever feel like they arent loved or cared about. i dont know you and i probably wont ever meet you but I DO LOVE ALL OF YOU!!! and yourlife will get better. just holdon a little longer.
@Mr. Enemabag Jones:
Mr. Jones i’m sorry for your pain and i’m sorry for everyone that suffers not just because of sexual orientation, not just race, or religion, or physical appearance. We all suffer some how for some reason. I’m straight but i was bullied a lot in my youth, growing up in the ghetto doesn’t make life easier considering your set up to fail there. I developed depression, and it will get to me sometimes. what i’m saying is don’t hate thoguh’s who hate you, learn to love them. if you hate thoughs who hate you, you’ll only add to the never ending cycle of pain and suffering already out there. When we all realize that we aren’t different, that’ll be the day we can make a difference. As an adult mr.Jones you should know kids are cruel, but look into there history, most bullys have abusive parents, live in troubled homes, or worse. i’ve forgiven my tormentors years ago and i’m only 23. don’t let a young adult show you up sir.
Why the hell do people care if others are gay? My best friend is gay and no one gives a shit because they think hes cool!! Its almost like people are just looking for a reason to pick on someone and them being homosexual is just an excuse sometimes. It’s seems to be acceptable for someone to be gay as long as they don’t show or are so called “cool”. IT NEEDS TO STOP. People are dying because of this and i am sick of it. People need to smarten the fuck up or get outta town. Cuz no community needs this fuckin shit
If your gay, your gay
Your born to be who you are
Please….It needs to stop.
Nobody should have to put up with being bullied every day.
everyone gets bullied at one point at life
Even I have!
You must understand life gets better!
i dont suport gays…but that doesnt mean we need to harras them these are precous lifes we are looseing the family are suffering and it needs to stop.
@jazzy more: If you “don’t support gays” then you are against gays and therefore our lives are by no means “precious” so far as you are concerned.
Your paternalism is therefore part of the reason why large numbers of LGBT teenagers don’t want to live in the world of hostility engendered by your antagonism.
why on earth do people not take bullying seriously!? Not just to gay people (it doesnt matter to me what sexuality you are you are still a person.) but to anyone! just people who dont fit in or whatever. its not taken seriously ever. i was bullied physically and emotionally all year long! When I finally did mention something about suicide… THEN they decided to do something. That’s the thing. it should not have to go on that long. I swear, bullying needs to be put to an end. Weather it be at school, at home, at work, by anyone or to any certain group of people. its not right. I feel terrible that kids, teenagers even, end their lives over things like this and adults don’t give 2 cents about it until its to late! They have their whole lives ahead of them…. And it was cut short cause some dumb kids at school had to be judgmental and treat them badly.
I feel the same way as Billy Lucas felt. I have had those same thoughts.
I am doing a project based off of the song By Rise Against called “Make It Stop”. It really makes me wish I could have been there to tell the kids to leave them alone. All it takes is one friend that will help you.
This is a terrible thing that happened but unfortunately for this area it’s not unusual. I from Rush County and I played basketball at their county middle school and I got a racial slur hurled at me in the middle of the game with all of the other players around hearing it. Nobody did anything then either.
I know their are places that actually care about this kind of stuff but you aren’t going to find many around Decatur county.
Comments are closed.