“It’s a really rough one for me, you know, because I don’t know that I have the authority to speak on it. But as a Black, queer man who has been dragged through the mud — for not being masculine enough in this world or for being the cause of the emasculation of the black man because I decided to play with feminine silhouette in my clothing — it’s really disheartening that version of masculinity shows up like that. It’s upsetting, it’s upsetting. I will be the Black queen that I am, because if that is the representation of what masculinity is supposed to be, I don’t need it,”—Actor Billy Porter to Entertainment Tonight, weighing in on the ongoing fallout from Will Smith slapping Chris Rock at the Academy Awards. The Academy has banned Smith from attending for the next ten years.
Donston
I am starting to get a bit turned off by how this moment is, dare I say, being a bit overblown and misused. It was a terrible and embarrassing moment. But I’m also uncomfortable with people using it to start one-note conversations about masculinity or about race. What Will did was as much about ego and narcissism and power as it was about fragile masculinity. You can’t remove insecurities, fragile masculinity and trying to supposedly protect his manhood from the puzzle. But you also can’t remove the ego, the narcissism and the variety of potential struggles Will has from the equation either.
Me2
I absolutely agree!! The conversations around this infamous slap have become nauseating.
tangent
I would agree with you if Smith was immediately exited from the building. Not given an award. Not given the opportunity to thank an audience. Certainly not permitted to keep his award. This was bad for Smith’s fans, the entertainment industry and the black community. Specifically, it has reinforced a series of negative stigmas associated with black American men. Smith’s personal “struggles” are not relevant here. He is an actor who makes a lot of money pretending to be someone he’s not. Now that we see who he is, he can go.
BLAKENOW
Amen…
Diplomat
I disagree. Fragile masculinity would have squir*med in his seat, sh*rank at his wife’s glare, quietly sipped his drink and done nothing.
What he did was over the top masculinity, hyper reac*tive if you will without weighing the consequences.
Regarding right and wrong, there’s the camp that breathes no holds barred for protecting your woman’s honor, a move that in history could have produced a fight/dual to the death. Rock’s joke was toxic, worthy of incident.
Smith’s attack felt around the world was foolish in that venue, but could hardly be called fragile on any level.
Diplomat
I also cannot agree with you that Will Smith is a narcissist. Narcissists lack empathy like bull in a china shop damaging things in their way. It’s all me me me with no consideration for other people’s feelings. Self promotion at the expense of others with a grandiose sense of self. Think Trump. Classic narcissist. Smith and pictures of hot guys on the internet hardly qualify.
I think there are alot of guys that think just because hot guys blow them off sexually, that they are narcis*sists. False. Not being sexual attracted to someone is not a narcissus trait nor is it raci*st. Look it up if you desire more clarity. These rooms have the Def all wrong.
I hope this gives some clarity to the definition of narcissism. We all know how difficult it is to be called something we’re not.
Gourmet Guy
Donston, you absolutely hit the nail on the head! Every word you wrote is perceptive and true.
Polaro
I love Billy, but he had to make it about himself, as always. Entertainment is chock full of narcissists. As far as Mr. Smith goes, I chalk that all up to his wealth and fame going to his head and messing with his sexuality issues. Wealth and fame are the real factors of entitlement.
Joshooeerr
FFS, he was clearly ASKED a question. Almost every celebrity – particularly black celebrity – interviewed since the Oscars has been invited to comment. Are they ALL making it about themselves?
Polaro
You did read the article, didn’t you? You did read what he said, I assume. If you did, you see how he made himself the victim. Again. More thinking, less flaming.
Terrycloth
Can we stick a fork in this conversation? It’s done..Will Smith got banned from the Academy for 10 years and it was just reported Will must return his Oscar. Chris Rock still refusing to talk about it until he gets paid…somebody pay him so we can move on to the next thing..whatever that is…
Diplomat
Smith hasn’t been ordered to return his Oscar. It was suggested by one person that he should. Nothing by the Academy. He won fair and square.
Max
on the whole Will Smith incident, his mouthing off to Chris Rock was so “ghetto”. it completely eliminated Smith as an African-American role model, more so than the slap itself.
BEARY FLINTSTONE
many whites still look up to Trump? Who gets to say who he is a role model for?
Rugby8
What Will Smith did was gross, disgusting, horrible, etc.
HOWEVER— IT is NOT about “toxic masculinity” , it is NOT about his Race, it is about acting out like a Child.
Your “toxic masculinity ” brush is as offensive as saying “he’s black, that’s how they act”.
Billy – be you, fight your fight. But that has Nothing to do with Will Smith – anymore than your inappropriate comments about Harry Styles.
Everything isn’t all about You.
Be you. Period.
Bosch
It seems you’re under the impression that “toxic masculinity” is meant as a description of masculinity. This is not the case. It’s a description of bad behaviours which use masculinity as an alibi. Like unprovoked physical aggression because “I’m a MAN”.
No one is suggesting males are inherently toxic. Only toxic males are toxic.
Ronbo
Beary is right. And at the same time, Beary is wrong (and racist) to try to make this about the “white” race and nasty tRumpers. Conservatives exist in all races – and many of us are blind to the fact that there are black, hispanic, asian AND white conservatives – WHO VOTED FOR tRump.
Domestic violence is most prominent where gender roles are also most prominently enforced. Domestic violence is also the greatest indicator of those who will later use a gun to kill.. All people who use violence (inluding Smith) should not be allowed to own or have access to guns.
SDR94103
“IT is NOT about “toxic masculinity” , it is NOT about his Race,”
Yes it is Blanche. YES IT IS.
BEARY FLINTSTONE
NO SHADE MISS PORTER THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU!!!! PLEASE HAVE A SEAT! _/ _/ _/
ScottOnEarth
Someone asked him for his opinion and he gave it. I think the seat is yours. Take it.
Polaro
Some people can’t read…yes, he did make it all about poor Billy being the victim.
judysdad
I can’t stand either one of these guys, so I’ll be glad when everyone puts a lid on the whole damn thing.
Jaquelope
Soon, there’ll be something else for people to be outraged over and the slap will become just a minor blip in history.
Terrycloth
@ Diomat..Newsweek , yahoo News , CNN , News break all reporting on Will having to return his Oscar..up till 2 hours ago..there has been no retraction so it stands
Terrycloth
@ diplomat.
.sorry
Diplomat
To those who do their research. Smith hasn’t been ordered to return his Oscar. It was suggested by one person that he should. Nothing by the Academy.
He won fair and square. Disinformation should be a crime.
Fname Optional Lname
He may have won but the Academy has rules of conduct and his behavior happened during the awards show. He should have returned it along with his apology. When people see that Oscar on his mantle they will never think of his work, only the bit*h slap.
Diplomat
Now for toxic feminity. Aka: men wearing women’s dresses. I love Billy, but hate the dress routine. He’s much hotter as a male dressed masculine man.
thisisnotreal
There’s a lot to unpack with your comment…first of all life is too short to live it in fear or shame and if billy feels like his most authentic self when wearing a dress then he should have the right to do that (spoiler alert he DOES have the right to do that). And your entitled to your opinion on whether or not you find him attractive in said dresses, but let’s shelf the whole toxic feminist thing for today ok? First of all that’s a very very nuanced conversation to have, second of all it doesn’t apply in the way your trying to make it apply. Billy wearing dresses is not toxic femininity because him wearing dresses doesn’t hurt anyone or any group, but you low key shaming him for wearing dresses and low key showing your true feelings by insinuating that “men should present like men” well now your letting your own toxic masculinity come out and your shaming your fellow lgbt peeps. If he wants to wear a dress as a dude then let him, it has no effect on people like you who are usually obsessed with masculinity and being “straight presenting” and only going for the “alpha men”. Your entitled to your own opinions but maybe stop once in a while and examine the roots of your opinions, because I think you will find that some of them are rooted in toxic masculinity and inner homophobia. Which are both things that us gay men have had a VERY long and complicated history with, we need to move away from those attitudes to truly be our own kind of people, not act like the lgbt police and go around telling our fellow peeps how to act or present.
ScottOnEarth
In case you haven’t been paying attention, Billy isn’t asking for anyone’s opinion on his wardrobe choices and there’s nothing toxic about him or his so-called femininity. Billy’s confidence and courage are sexy AF and he doesn’t need to fit into anyone’s ideals of ‘masculine’ behavior.
charette8596
Totally agree. Men shouldn’t be wearing dresses. Straight, gay, it doesn’t matter. Leave the dresses for the women. If you need to dress like a woman, go the whole nine yards and be a woman!
Leash
If you don’t like wearing dresses: don’t wear dresses. Why tell other people what they can or can’t wear? Your last sentence is giving me strong “you’d be much more attractive if you smile” vibes.
@charette8596 men used to wear skirts, the color pink and high heels on a regular basis, your idea what or what men can or can not do is constructed ITS NOT REAL. Hunky scottish dudes who throw giant logs for sport wear kilts. Do you also go to women and tell them to leave the pants for us men?
Bosch
Toxicity is hardly expressed by clothing. When we speak of toxic femininity, we refer to negative personality traits associated with hyperfemininity; like women who think everything should be done for them simply because they are girls.
Ironically, a good example of toxic masculinity would be to complain about men wearing dresses.
kish
Disinformation should be a crime.
Polaro
Billy’s fashion is fun. I have no problem with it. He does it for attention, like every other man in a dress. The sad part is Billy thinking he’s invented something and then gets mad when other men in dresses get attention too.
Leash
I swear, the queerty comments section is such a vile toxic place with so much blatantly dumb one-dimensional racist transphobic misogynistic did-I-mention DUMB assholes.
I hope alot of you are just trolling and not really a part of our community, but then again, apparently “Gays for trump” exist too, so everything is possible.
Why do I even come here? For the shitty clickbait articles?
Diplomat
I asked myself the same question about why do I come here. I finally came up with, it’s entertaining!
Billy can wear a dress all he likes, for me, it’s a total turn off. Pants are unisex and practical. Evening gown on a man, pure silly.
That dress code you mentioned that men used to wear “all the time”, never seen that in this country.
Leash
“Pants are unisex and practical. Evening gown on a man, pure silly.”
Pants used to be for men only and that changed. Also, a skirt is practical, easy access?
“That dress code you mentioned that men used to wear “all the time”, never seen that in this country.”
Not talking about current times. Also not everyone lives in the US, but this interesting article even features a picture of one of your former presidents in a cute dress and long hair as a baby, which was consideren normal:
historyofyesterday DOT cum/yes-men-used-to-wear-dresses-high-heels-and-colour-pink-280dd5fa03bc
Bosch
“never seen that in this country.”
Using a 200 year old country as a measure of human history is like asking a 6 year old to do your taxes.
kish
I agree. I think many are just trolls, but it’s also indicative of the issues of white gay male culture. Misogyny, transphobia, racism
BaltoSteve
It’s almost like Diplomat never heard of the word Kilt.
Polaro
@kish yes, because all the evil in the world originates with “white gay male culture”. What you don’t understand is amazing. What you’re willing to parrot is sad.
kish
Responding with hyperbole is pathetic.
Fname Optional Lname
Ignorance is believing your life experience is exactly what others have experienced
nunya
I come solely for the catty queens’ comments.
Man About Town
Some comedian (I forget who; maybe Jimmy Kimmel) said it’s ridiculous for him to be punished by banning him from this 4-hour snoozefest for 10 years; a better punishment would be to force him to host it next year!
alexpof
Billy POrter makes EVERYTHING about him he
offcell
Y’all are funny. Tell another one!
BLAKENOW
Keep talking Miss Thing pretty soon everything you say From Harry Styles to this will Smith mess will fall on deaf ears, People have a very very short attention span even with your talented ass in a dress. Next time you should really run your comments by your publicist before pressing send, it just might extend your career for another few months. ,