Billy Porter has enjoyed a long career on Broadway and in film and television, appearing in hit TV shows like American Horror Story, Pose, and Law & Order, as well as films like The First Wives Club and The Broken Hearts Club.
Now, in a graphic new op-ed published by Out, the 49-year-old performer opens up about the years of sexual abuse he suffered at the hands of his stepdad.
“There were no words at first,” Porter writes. “But then he began cuddling me. Spooning me. Innocent enough, right?”
“To groom me, StepDaddy introduced me to porn, starting with the softer side of Playboy Playmates then quickly escalating to the more hardcore Hustler magazine. After a time, he asked me which pictures I liked the best.”
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“Cut to a year later with my 250 pound stepfather f*cking my face with his uncut, coke-can-girthed c*ck.”
Porter says he was around nine years old when the abuse began and that it continued for about four years.
He believes his stepdad targeted him because he sensed Porter was gay.
“I was born gay and he knew it,” he writes. “He knew I would respond favorably to the sex, because sex is pleasurable, sex feels good.”
He continues: “By year three, we were making booty call dates over morning breakfast, in code and playing footsies under the table before I skipped off to catch the bus to middle school.”
For years, Porter was convinced he was a willing participant in the abuse, that he had “asked” for it, and that he and his stepdad had engaged in an “affair.”
It wasn’t until 20 years later when his therapist said point blank: “Seven year old boys do not have affairs with 50-year-old men. It’s called sexual abuse. Plain and simple.”
The last time Porter saw his stepdad was when he was on his deathbed nearly 30 years ago. He recalls:
In 1989, the spring of my sophomore year, Stepdaddy had a mild heart attack. My mother begged me to “be a Christian” and go to the hospital to maybe have a rapprochement. I begrudgingly decided it was the right thing to do so I went to visit him on my lunch break from school. I literally had not laid eyes on the man in over a year and some change. His demeanor was different. He seemed pensive. Remorseful even. He told me he was proud of me. He told me to not let anyone change who I am. Ummm…da f*ck…? I left that hospital dazed and confused yet hopeful, I guess. In less than 24-hours later he was dead.
Porter says he was inspired to share his story after Brett Kavanaugh’s SCOTUS hearings.
He concludes his op-ed with a simple message: “‘VOTE, BITCHES!!! While we still can! It’s the only power we have!”
Related: ‘Pose’ star Billy Porter on Ryan Murphy: “He is a use-your-power-for-good kind of guy.”
Dymension
Read the OpEd. Wow! Just, wow!
socaliscorpio
powerful….and he was an AMAZING actor in Pose…Emmy worthy!
bowlingbutch
WOW! what a horrible thing for anyone any age to go through. This young man is inspiring. my heart goes out to this talented man.
GayEGO
This has been happening for centuries and now, along with #metoo, victims are coming out and helping civilization to advance toward more positive and less negative experiences.
yaletownman
Poor baby. The sh*t we humans endure is mind boggling. I just want to give him a big hug and tell him how amazing he has turned out in spite of it all,
Kangol
I remember Billy Porter’s clip on Logo years ago in which he talked about “living inside [his] truth,” and I applaud him for continuing to do this and let people know about the terrible abuse he, like many others, experience. I’m also glad that he’s not blaming himself for the complexity of his feelings; he was a child and a supposed guardian took complete advantage of him. Above all, he’s showing us all a way to heal.
excusemydust
Thank you so much for sharing what happened to you, Billy. And thank you even more for your fierce advocacy.
allisonglass123456
I saw Billy on the Wendy Williams Show discussing this Op Ed.
Thank you Billy for your great interview; discussing all the bs of the US Supreme Court hearings and how it triggered you.
I believe Billy Porter.
Anyone reading this HEALING IS NOT HIDING!
Silence is TOXIC SHAME!
There are 45 MILLION SEXUAL ABUSE SURVIVORS.
Unfortunately sexual abuse is “Normal” since over 50% of the population has been sexual abused yet less than 40% report the crimes.
All young children should be taught:
– The Motto that private parts are called private because they are NOT to be shared with anyone else.
– It is NOT okay for adults or OLDER children to look, touch, or share private parts with any child.