Bishops Call On Catholics To Rend Garments In Advance Of DOMA Ruling

Perhaps anticipating another loss, the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops is calling on the faithful to break out the sackcloth and ashes as they await the Supreme Court ruling on marriage equality. In a letter distributed to parish churches nationwide, the Conference urged Catholics to “pray, fast and sacrifice” to send a message to the Court.

“A broad negative ruling could redefine marriage in the law throughout the entire country, becoming the ‘Roe v. Wade’ of marriage,” according to the bishops. “The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops has joined with many other organizations in urging the Supreme Court to uphold both DOMA and Proposition 8 and thereby to recognize the essential, irreplaceable contribution that husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, make to society and especially to children.” Unfortunately for the bishops, their list doesn’t include many Fortune 500 companies, 15 states or 212 members of Congress.

The list also wouldn’t include many of the people sitting in the pews. Polls repeatedly show more Catholics favor marriage equality than oppose it and in the words of one pollster are ” leading American voters toward support for same-sex marriage.”

The Conference is headed by New York Cardinal Timothy Dolan, who has shown his compassion for the LGBT community by taking a leading role in decrying the outbreak of antigay violence in the city.

Oh, wait. 

Undeterred by reality, the bishops are also planning another Fortnight for Freedom, a two-week period of religious services, prayer rallies and all-around celebration of Catholic victimhood in the face of expanded civil rights.