scapegoats

Blame the Gays for the White House Party Crashers

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Tareq and Michaela Sahali’s intrusion on Barack Obama‘s first State Dinner was as much an affront to national security as it was performance theater on the state on America’s thirst for reality television. Bypassing the Secret Service’s obviously-not-so-secure wall to shake hands with the president, the Sahalis represent all that America stands for today: the chance to get on television. And please this country’s homosexuals.

In the running for a spot on Bravo’s The Real Housewives on D.C., we can’t imagine producers will opt not to choose the Sahalis for their program, for it will all but guarantee media buzz and huge ratings. You know, given that they hang out with the president.

Housewives‘s cameras followed the wine-monied coupled before the big dinner, and knew they were headed to the White House (where they wouldn’t be allowed to film), albeit as legitimate party guests, the show claims. And undoubtedly, the Sahalis crashed the State Dinner because it would help launch them into the atmosphere of notoriety that Housewives producers crave.

And given the Housewives is a series serial dined upon by legions of gay Bravo audiences, it’s really America’s homosexuals and their diet of bitchy blonde semi-wealthy terrible people that are to blame for giving the Sahalis motivation to RSVP to controversy. If it weren’t for your selfish need to scowl at ditzy, clueless surgically enhanced women in their 30s and 40s, we might not be facing such national embarassment.

You can also, then, accept blame for getting Rep. Jared Polis to play the reality television game as well, which he does on the upcoming season of The Real World: D.C., shaking hands with token non-hetero roommate Mike, who’s basically a big nelly bottom but will take 23 episodes and at least three hot tub soaks with shirtless fratboys to figure it out. It’s unclear how big Polis’s cameo will be (we’re guessing under 20 seconds), but even from this brief season trailer it appears he willingly took part in MTV’s ode to stupid youth.

All because of the gays. Good job!