This Friday’s Blind Items are brought to you by the letter C for Closet Case.
*Sex Crime
Which teen soap actor in the the UK is on trial for raping another lad?
The actor, then 15, allegedly forced a 14-year-old to perform oral sex on him in London’s Wimbledon Theatre, and later raped him in front of his girlfriend.
The twisted part is the soap star, who hails from Surrey, allegedly committed the heinous act to prove to his girlfriend that he was bisexual.
The whole mess is in court now, with both the victim and defendant’s names being kept confidential—for now.
The alleged perpetrator maintains everything was consensual. [The Independent]
Our verdict: There are easier ways to convince your girlfriend you’re bisexual.
*Silver Linings Gaybook
This A list mostly movie actor and Academy Award winner/nominee has a new male lover. As his custom though, the actor refuses to ever admit that he is gay and instead, kept his boyfriend locked up in a hotel room.
The award-winner ate several times by himself at places while not even allowing his new lover to order room service.
Instead, the actor would bring him back coffee and wraps from Starbucks. Our actor is apparently one of the cruelest guys around when it comes to his partners. Violently so. [Crazy Days and Nights]
Our verdict: Kinky, apparently this actor’s into bondage.
How about we take this to the next level?
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*Sugar Diddy
This A list celebrity/rapper/mogul and sometime reality star is not a huge drinker. At clubs he will drink and he orders a ton of booze, but he is not like Jay-Z who will actually get hammered.
There are times though that our celebrity does. If you are a 18-22 year old gay male interested in older men and lots of presents, this is your chance. Our celebrity uses his drinking as an excuse to take a night off from being a ladies man.
He heads to a club and finds some willing guys and then for the rest of the night they drive around in a party bus while our celebrity enjoys getting wild with the guys with no one to see and is passing out money and presents and booze and seemingly at his happiest. When the party is over he drops them back off at the club and then pretends it all never happened. Just blames it on the booze. [Crazy Days and Nights]
Our verdict: We’d be willing to lie about our age to get some of these alleged gifts.
*Apparently People Still Use Gaydar
Who is ‘bitchforu18?? The celebrity who was prowling around Gaydar chatrooms on Monday, posting such delightful messages as:
bitchforu18: I NEED SOMEONE TO COME AND NAIL ME
bitchforu18: I’m drunk willing
bitchforu18: im an actor
bitchforu18: well known
bitchforu18: I NEED TO BE F*CKED NOW, IM IN SOHO. IM GOOD LOOKING, DEFINED, 29 AND GOT A FAMOUS FACE. IM ALSO SO F*CKING DRUNK. WHYS IT HARD TO FIND SOMEONE TO BREED ME?? [Blind Gossip]
Our verdict: He finally got bred.
*Keeping Up with the Kloseted Boyfriend
This A list reality star apparently caught her A list celebrity boyfriend in way more than just a lip lock with another guy. It does not seem to have slowed down their relationship at all though. [Crazy Days and Nights]
Our verdict: Calling someone an A-list reality star is an insult no matter how you phrase it.
*A Beard in the Hand is Worth A Merkin on the Bush
It was not that long ago that this almost A list mostly television actor was still trying to make it look like he dated women. He liked the impression that he was a ladies man and he got that impression by dating woman after woman. He dated so many women because there was never any third date love if you get my drift.
He would just date them until he could not hide it anymore and then move on.
Meanwhile, women all over the world would follow each of these changes and hope they would be next. He finally has settled down. Of course the person he settled down with has never actually even pretended to date a guy and everyone was fairly certain she would just come out. She is a B list actress. Mostly movies. I think I am being generous in giving her a B. She might be closer to a C.
The couple claims they fell in love and can’t be separated from each other. Well, she has a girlfriend so there must be some separation sometime. He is not currently seeing any guys and is extremely hesitant to ever do so except when he is out of the country and in very controlled circumstances. I’m not sure why they decided to go this route. It is confusing, especially on her part because she was so close to coming out. Publicity? That could be. Her old girlfriend knew a lot about publicity. [Crazy Days and Nights]
Our verdict: Sounds like a match made in a very specific circle of hell.
*BrotherlE! Love
People are sad over this attractive couple’s split. Let’s clarify a few things about their relationship. First of all, they were never a real couple. However, they really were friends with one another. Secondly, the arrangement worked so well over time, that they actually thought about making it more permanent. Thirdly, they broke up very suddenly, but it was not because of a conflict between the man and the woman. The real conflict was between the man and the woman’s brother. That’s right! The guy didn’t really break up with her. He was actually breaking up with her brother! She was just a casualty of the fallout. Why did they break up? One guy heard that the other betrayed him (we don’t know if it was true or not). The breakup followed very quickly after that. It was very sudden and very ugly. Finally, all three in this relationship are adults and are professionals in the industry, so we think that there is a zero out of ten chance that any details of their relationship or their breakup will ever be made public. [Blind Gossip]
Our verdict: A sham? wow! Secrets, out.
So, dear readers, who do you think is hiding behind these closet doors?
Dixie Rect
Blind items now Queerty? Another new low! Now we just need endless Davey Wavey posts.
dellisonly
@Dixie Rect:
I stopped getting news from this site because of posts like this and the very cute yet very annoying Mr Wavey. I can pick up my local gay paper with the same stories and less dreck
Cam
UGH, I’ve always thought blind items were simpering step and fetchits hiding all of the ridiculous closet cases out there. Yes, Ted Cassablancas, I’m talking about you.
That said….
The First one: Kevin Spacey
A Beard in the Hand: Alexander Skarsgard carried his “girlfriend” Ellen Page
The Rapper, Diddy, they gave it away.
The Brotherly Love one: Ryan Seacrest, Derek Hough and Julianne Hough
watching1
I’m thinking the rapper is Kanye.
Did not know that Skarsgard and Page were “dating” (is that what gay kids call it these days?). Sort of heartbroken that Page chose that route, after being so close to coming out. I mean, every lesbian who pays attention and then some know she’s a dyke. Fucking Hollywood, people will do anything to get there and stay there.
Cam
@watching1:
I KNOW! I thought that by this time Ellen Page and Lizzy Kaplan would be dating.
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0135221/
watching1
@Cam: Yeah, but that Lizzy Kaplan did Hot Tub makes me wonder if she’s under a lot of pressure by her “people” to play it straight. She could not have enjoyed that experience… And Page? I think so many of these young women are such under enormous pressure, they’re not even trying to say they’re bi (even when they are). Let’s not even get into how queer the cast of Glee is (oh yes, the irony)… But no one’s coming out anytime soon, I’m betting.
queertypie
Ryan: “Seacrest, Out!” Well not yet, officially.
Bear Aspirin
Aren’t these lifted directly from DListed?
The rapper is Will Smith.
Cam
@Bear Aspirin:
Will Smith! Thats right!
Kieran
This “blind item” stuff is totally pointless. If you can’t name names it isn’t a story.
enfilmigult
@Dixie Rect: New low? This is far from the first time they’ve run blind items about closeted celebrities. Where have you been?
Caliban
When was Will Smith ever a “reality star”?
zaneymcbanes
I know a lot of people hate blind items, but I LOVE them. Thank you Queerty!
Shannon1981
Diddy or Kanye for the rapper. I am thinking Kanye, it would explain his bizarre behavior..
GayBacon
Bradley Cooper and his coffee enemas…
PaulFlorida
If you not going to put names in why the hell put the crap up with out names it just so much bull shit
Cagnazzo82
If there’s people out there who know all these intimate celebrity details… why don’t any names ever come out?
Sukhrajah
@Cagnazzo82: Because alot of us only come into contact with these people in professional capacities – thus breaking our trusts will likely cost us our jobs.
Case in point – I have seen and been around one of the “Blind Items” with her girlfriend (also another actress), as they checked into my hotel while attending a health retreat. It was cute, because neither was pretentious, neither disrespectful, neither demanding. They were in very late at night, shared a room, and left early the next morning (to arrive at the retreat), and signed any autographs asked of them by anyone.
There, in public – it didn’t take a while to see past the ‘professional’ barrier of these two actresses. Should I have outed them? Should I have screamed to Queerty? No. It’s not my place. Neither has harmed the LGBT community, both are young and actively seeking work, and more importantly – I was there in a capacity to serve them, not to critique their lifestyle. Doing so could have made me unemployed, and worse – for what – a story that a handful would believe, that I [i]might[/i] get paid for – and then what?
Anwyay, seeing that the year is almost over – to any reader demanding some shred of truth – as of this date, none of these incidents have come to much public notice, and all of the people suspected are still closeted. As the year closes, it’s unlikely that we will see more people come out. But, despite all of the ones above, it’s been a great year at home and a troubling one abroad for our people.
So, in late 2013, here’s a guess of who we were talking about;
*Sex Crime[/i] – Sadly it is the young, Joshua Pascoe.
*Silver Linings Gaybook[/i] – The star of this is Bradley Cooper. By this point of the year – no one really cares. The movie was cute, did well (against it’s budget). Jennifer won the Oscar for the female lead. Brad was then cited with a few female stars, notably Zoe Saldana (well, I guess kissing Quinto on screen will do that to you. I mean, we are known for being great kissers). Honestly, if Bradley Cooper had come out since then – he would likely be doing much better financially (like his many outed brothers that are doing well for themselves – Bomer, Cooper (Andy),to the Patrick-Harris and Quinto. Sooner or later (and likely as he wanes as a ‘current leading man’ niche), the closet will become to hard to bear. Sadly, he won’t find much fanfare from us.
*SugarDiddy[/i] – Well, PDiddy only seems fair, but this seems so Russell Simmons to me that it reeks. Later in 2013 he’ll get into it with the Mightly Andre Leon Talley – and make a jerk comment, that will only make sense if you see him as a black gay man. So, there’s that…
*Gaydar[/i] – Well that’s a toss up. Our front runner still remains Andrew Garfield (who went on to state that there needs to be a gay superhero in the future, to promote his tenure as Spiderman). Other candidates that were within the proximity of that age (and we all know that we all lie about ages here, come on…) would have been Franco, Lutz and Crawford, of which – as of yet, all have been rumored to be (with them linked in matter of public ‘outness’/likeliehood to come out next) gay but none yet out.
*Keeping up with the Kloseted Boyfired[/i] – First suspect if the lovely Kanye Kardashian, but he is either too much, or too abrasive to be embraced by the community if he comes out in the soon future.
*A beard in the hand is worth a merkin in the bush[/i] – Alexander Skarsgard, and Ellen Paige. To be honest, if he doesn’t come out – he can count himself in a rut after True Blood ends. I mean, if he came out – it would be beneficial to his career. As for her – well, it’s about time. I mean, it’s not going to be a big secret anymore and she can finally work on using some of the depth that she has as an actress.
*BrothE!rly Love[/i] – Ryan Seacrest. SERIOUSLY! IT’S late 2013 and that thing has not shimmied out of the closet yet? Oh dear. Soon! Soon, because all that stress ages a person, and judging from his make up, alot of pancake is going into making him look like a 20-ish year old. He’s wealthy and has the credits to back him up. It’s about time.