“Just-a-Joe,” a gay American soldier, has been plugging away at his anonymously written blog RepealNow.org only since March 20, as far as we can tell. He’s stationed in the Middle East. He’s been writing about the politics of LGBT equality, Dan Choi’s White House chaining, and what he’ll do during his leave. Last week, abruptly, he came out of the closet to his fellow soldiers. And now he’s on his way to a dismissal. Ugh.
On Thursday, he wrote, “Today, I came out of the closet.” He wasn’t planning on it. But when a regular political conversation among he and his comrades got to gay marriage, the “conversation kept building, and I felt the voice inside of me screaming. If from that conversation it was not noticeable that I was gay, they were crazy. I did everything but say this. The bubble finally popped though, I spoke rather loudly (outside I remind you) and stated ‘I am gay.’ I proceeded to give a speech fit for the public. I was rather impressed with it actually, I am a much better speaker than a writer. I rather hastily discussed the issues that we face, and how I give my blood and sweat just as they do. I told them flat out, ‘You know Ryan? My girl? Well… She does not have tits, he has a dick’ and continued to explain how long we have been together and why he has sacrificed more than any of there wives.”
Wow.
He told his peers about how he’s doing his own things to fight for equality and repeal Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, like reaching out to his representatives. And so: “Following this I walked off, and started cracking up! I do not know why, but I could not stop laughing. My boss came over and sat down, and started a conversation. He told me this. ‘I just want to let you know that this does not change my opinions at all. You are not going to be able to do that. However, my opinions are not changed concerning you either. I am not going to single you out. I am not going to out you. This can stay between us. You did make it real for me, however. I never thought about it from that perspective. If something was to happen to you, your partner would not even know. I do disagree with that, its wrong.’ My warrant officer came over, shook my hand, and left. I think he was genuinely confused. I think in his mind he was surprised that gay people actually exist, that gays are not, just a conspiracy theory.”
How about we take this to the next level?
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That was a good day. The next few were not.
On Saturday, “I was informed that my command would be initiating an investigation on me. My luck with “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” is up. To be honest today has thrown so much in my face, I want to cry. I am at a loss of what to do. The other day, I felt honorable. I felt prideful. Today, I feel like a fucking criminal. I am tired. After serving this country for three years, in two deployments, I am no longer a soldier. I am now a prisoner. Let me be clear, because I thought this would be freeing, I thought I would be happier. I am not. Today, I am worse off than the previous three years.”
It turns out, his boss — his first sergeant — who told him he was “not going to single you out” was the one who reported him: “I told him that I understood if he wanted to go to the command about it, but to let me do it. Let me keep my dignity, my integrity. I have a lot of respect for my First Sergeant and I wanted it to come from me. He agreed, and he said he was not going to. He is a liar, and I have no respect for him as a soldier, NCO, leader, man, or human being. He did not keep his word. He talked, to more than just my First Sergeant. He posted this on his facebook, which I have no evidence that he is directing at me, however it speaks for itself.”
So what happens now? This:
It is interesting to be told that “I can not afford to loose you right now” while filling out a sworn statement. This is what my unit is doing. They are preparing the paperwork to discharge me under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” while telling me that it will sit in a manila envelope and not be pursued. Essentially, do to the fact that we are at war they need me. But when we return home they could effectively fire me. If I am not “qualified” to serve you would think that would insinuate any circumstance. However, at times of war those rules are overlooked.
I have been contacting Senator Claire McCaskill’s office because she is one of my Senators. I can never get through, and they tell me to send an email. Unfortunately, I send emails and get fact sheets about “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” back. I live under this policy and now I live on top of it. I do not need facts, I need support. I just got off the phone with her Columbia office and I made them listen to me. Hopefully she will actually get the message. Hopefully she will see that I am one of her Missouri constituents and she needs to support me. If I am good enough to serve, if I am so important during war. I am worthy of my job in the states as well.
Instead, they will table the discharge until we return from Iraq, and then they will fire me. When they no longer want me. Enough is enough. Our Senators need to understand that we are real individuals. We are here. Every one of them has a gay soldier as a constituent begging silently for a voice. Hoping they will get that help. This is a congressional issue. They are going to make the decision on this.
We’ll leave you with these words: “I have a message to our government, to President Obama, to our nation! I fought for your freedoms! I am in Iraq now! I am currently fighting for your freedoms and if you can not give me the decency of honesty, of my integrity, my dignity, then I am done serving you. I will not be subjected to cruel acts of religious morality checking. That is not for the government nor my leaders to decide. I am an American soldier, not a terrorist! A soldier, what they call a hero. I give my blood and sweat to this country just as much as some of you and more than most of you! Change this for me.”
(We’re reaching out to Just-a-Joe for some more information. We’ll let you know what we hear.)
adman
Heartbreaking, really.
Warren in NY
This needs to be on every blog and news show. This is the crux of the argument. F!#k Obama for dragging and cavnig to the Pentagon on this!
I pliss
This was so moving, sad, inspiring, heartfelt and messed up that we can fight for this country but thrown to the side like a used rag! Fight on! Fight the fight for equality not for the country that doesn’t back you because of what type of human you like.
Cam
Um….this is why he is not getting a good response from his senators office…
“”Sen. McCaskill says she was not against letting people carry concealed weapons. But she is against requiring one state to accept another state’s laws that might differ from its own. She says it would be a foot in the door that could allow Vermont’s laws on gay marriage to be enforced in Missouri, which has a constitutional provision against gay marriage.””
He needs to contact his Congressperson, also, he is in the military, he can change his state of residence. Hell he should change his state to NY, or MA, or another state that has friendlier Congressional Reps than MO. Since honor and integrity is supposedly part of the military code I wonder if it would do any good to report his seargent’s lie, saying that he was told he could come out to the leadership himself and was lied to. Probably wouldn’t but I’d love to see that douche-bag Seargent brought up for not only that but also for posting on his facebook.
Jason
This DADT has ruined SO many lives.
Remember this: http://thinkprogress.org/2009/05/08/obama-dont-ask-dont-tell/
Obama, in his capacity as Commander-in-Chief, could issue an order directing the military to stop this bigoted, un-American policy: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Article_Two_of_the_United_States_Constitution#Clause_1:_Command_of_military.3B_Opinions_of_cabinet_secretaries.3B_Pardons
Also, Congress could pass a bill directing the military to stop spending money on DADT. That would effectively put an end to people being kicked out under DADT.
Then they could study and ponder all they wanted.
Michael @ LeonardMatlovich.com
Assuming this is real, McCaskill could do nothing for him even if she wanted to.
It’s wrong, it’s evil, it’s unconstitutional, but because he outed himself he has virtually signed his discharge papers. His Sergeant’s duplicity [very common, by the way] is beside the point, just as was the vindictive outing of the woman in the Air Force in South Dakota by local police.
And, yes, there’s a good chance they will keep his discharge on hold until he’s back in the states…assuming, of course, he’s survives his Middle East deployment. It’s happened myriad times during our “war on terror,” and in previous conflicts. If they need your body, they need your body, DADT be damned.
That hypocrisy is, the military’s use of “stop-loss” of gays going all the way back to WWII is something I’ve yet to see brought up in repeal hearings…but perhaps they’re afraid it would not just illustrate DADT’s hypocrisy but Obama’s in his refusal to use his legal powers to freeze discharges even in the name of national security even tho he’s publicly stated such discharges WEAKEN national security.
Out of the blogs and into the streets!
David
Well, what did this guy expect to happen? DADT sucks, but he was being a Pollyanna to expect bigots not to be bigoted. It’s like the old story of the frog who gave a ride to a scorpion on his back. The scorpion stung the frog because that was his nature.
Kevin (New Jersey, US)
(Devil’s advocate here…) The stoic in me thinks this guy is being a cry-baby. He knew the rules of DODT, he involved himself in the Army anyway. And why? Because he wanted to serve, yes, but apparently now, his desire to express his true identity or feelings or whatever have trumped his desire to serve. Now it’s about him, you see, not the Army, and not the Republic.
He knew full well that he would be discharged, full well the forces arrayed against him, and yet he broke his silence? And for what? His life is worse now than it ever was. The career he chose and slaved over is ruined. And our Republic will lose yet another hard-working soldier.
Then again, if this guy’s true loyalty is to which way his dick points, as opposed to our Republic, then perhaps it’s good riddance. The Republic asks gay soldiers to be silent about their romantic and sexual activities; the Republic sometimes asks soldiers to die for their mission – which is the greater sacrifice?
David
Kevin,
Look, I think the guy was foolish to come forward but this crap about “loyalty to which way his dick points” is ridiculous. It’s not a question of loyalty, it’s really about knowingly working in a hostile work environment and deluding oneself into believing idiots aren’t idiots.
Jason
@David: You think it is foolish to push for equality and to be honest about oneself to one’s coworkers and superiors.
So I assume that you are thinking this soldier, and the rest of us in the military should just wait?
Wait for what and for how long?
Chip
Let’s hope he gets to Dan Choi and Rachel Maddow really soon. The more stories like this, that get out to the nation, the better.
Jay
@Kevin (New Jersey, US): “The Republic asks gay soldiers to be silent about their romantic and sexual activities”
Then they should make the same request of straight soldiers imo. If everyone isn’t free to talk about their significant other and how much they miss them, then nobody should be able to. DADT is nothing but a load of crap. Just legalized discrimination by our own government. IF someone serves our country then they deserve respect not punishment for who they are.
Jason
Just a Joe I totally understand and support you. I was thrown out of the USAF in 2000 under Don’t ask Don’t Tell. All I had ever known was life in the military, I come from a long line of military men, as far back as I can think the men in my family have served. I was discharged under a flawed and not followed policy. I was asked by my NCOIC directly and responded honestly, within hours I was sent to my commander and the paperwork was started, that was the longest 3 months of my life! I could have fought it but by that time I was so disappointed that I left without a fight. But here I am 10 years later and doing great. I wish you the best of luck, and even after this chapter in your life closes new chapters begin!
AlanReeser
My heart goes out to Just-A-Joe and to you Jason. I came out the day after I retired from the Air Force and escaped the pre DA/DT manure for 20 years. This damndable, idiotic, ruiness crap called don’t ask/don’t tell HAS GOT TO STOP.
Michael
It’s total bullshite the military will retain these soldiers until they’re finished with them and then discharge them. It’s a bit vile and evil to ask these men and women to continue risking their lives for a country who’s going to give them the boot as soon as they’re out of harm’s way. I’m sorry but America sucks.
Cam
No. 8 · Kevin (New Jersey, US)
Then again, if this guy’s true loyalty is to which way his dick points, as opposed to our Republic, then perhaps it’s good riddance. The Republic asks gay soldiers to be silent about their romantic and sexual activities; the Republic sometimes asks soldiers to die for their mission – which is the greater sacrifice?
___________________________
The problem with your point is that you don’t seem to realize just how many of us are dating, have dated or have been in the military. These soldiers are not asked to be silent, they are asked to have something not exist. Even the silent soldiers are outed by others and kicked out. I’ll put this to you, Soldiers aren’t supposed to advocate political positions while in uniform. I’m betting the discussion that happened which finally drove this guy to come out happened while they were all in uniform. Doubtful that any of the others will be written up for their “Offense” though isn’t it?
Rusty
@Kevin (New Jersey, US): “Devil(s) advocate” – thanks for showing your alignment. When you put on the uniform and deploy in harms way, then maybe I would even consider your objection. I have lots of fellow soldiers who don’t care who’s gay and judge by performance in action.
It’s a lot more difficult to hide all the details of your (gay) boyfriend back at home when you’re facing life and death everyday, and are exposed to deep conversations with your comrads in the field.
Sure, he could continue to hide, feed his shame and contribute to contributing to wear and tear on his mental health.
Bottom line – the guy should be respected, not denigrated for his actions.
ossurworld
The real issue is whether this veteran will receive an Honorable discharge.
MikeyM
The truth is, the rule, and I don’t agree with it AT ALL, but the rule is simply explained in it’s stating : DON’T ASK, DON’T TELL. He told. You can’t tell and then expect nothing to happen to you. Because it will. Regardless of those in your unit who support you, your men, your friends, etc. there are going to be those who DO NOT and they will follow the rules of command and the UCMJ and report you to the higher echelon who will follow up, investigate and kick you out.
Sorry boys and girls, it’s a fact.
Again, I don’t agree with what happened, and it’s sad what happened to a man who is in the US Armed Forces and serving his country because he wants to, not because he’s gay and wants to make a statement and change things….but it is the harsh reality of what the rules are and how they are enforced.
Obama should be ashamed of himself for back-pedaling on his stance and not doing all the can do change this terrible policy that should never have been instated to begin with.
And yes, I am former military, 36 years of age, served in two major Middle East conflicts, veteran of the Navy and AF. I currently live with my boyfriend, husband, partner, lover, whatever you need to call him, who is 37 years old and a veteran of the USMC, who served with me in the Middle East as well. It’s how we met. It’s where we fell in love. It’s where we did our jobs and lived our lives, out to only an extremely close few. We followed the rules and did what we were told and came out unscathed. And until the day comes when DADT is repealed, my advice to men and women who want to pursue their military career, is to do the same. Be who you are to yourself, do your job, keep quiet and move on with it. Otherwise you are setting yourself up for failure and discharge. Right now, it’s the only way you can be who you are and have the career in the military that you want. And it is sad and it is depressing, but it is what it is. Deal with it for now. If you want to change things, do it when you get out.
MikeyM
@Kevin (New Jersey, US):
Kevin has got it 100% correct in his statement. Think about what he said. It makes absolute sense. Until the rules change, this is where it should be.