Representative Bob Allen’s going to have a lot of explaining to do at tonight’s general meeting of Florida’s North Brevard NAACP Branch.
A staunch conservative, Allen raised eyebrows last month when he tried to drop trough with an undercover copper, whom Allen also offered 20 bones for oral. As if that’s not reputation damaging enough, Allen then excused his behavior by saying he feared the black cop would rob him, or something. The Florida Civil Rights Association reamed him a new one and called for his resignation. Allen, of course, refused, but did begin an apology tour.
Earlier this month, Allen appeared before the NAACP’s (cough) Cocoa branch and cleared up any confusion. He said the remarks were “taken out of context” and tried to reassure black voters that “I [have] not lost my mind and turned into a racist.” Does this mean you’re a fag?
At least one Cocoa representative believes Allen’s account. Alberta Wilson told Florida Today: “He appeared remorseful. I thanked him for coming.” Ug, we’d have thanked him for going.
While Allen’s timing may seem fishy, North Brevard president Bill Gary says Allen comes ’round his parts every year, “For the past three or four years, he has come to us and talked about the legislative session.” If Allen wants to discus his royal fuck up, that’s fine, but it’s not a requirement, says Gary. Those black folk sure are generous. You know the gays would have Allen strung up by his testicles…
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Bill Perdue
You can always count on superstitious piglets to come up with a really juicy scandal. It’s because they’re fuckwits. Bob Allen is no exception.
Jimmy Swaggart drove his big Jaguar limo when he went muff diving in south central LA with a troop of suspicious vans with big antennae following him – film at eleven!
Der Pope was (is?) a Nazi.
James Bakker lost his empire after fucking Jessica Hahn and getting convicted for fraud and conspiracy, serving five years in the slammer.
The Rev. Henry J. Lyons was purged as leader of the National Baptist Convention USA after his then-wife set fire to a waterfront mansion he secretly owned with his mistress. He too was convicted in 1999 of swindling millions of dollars and sentenced to five years in prison.
Both Lyons and Haggard (more below) were bosom pals of the Bushes and believers in the sanctity of marriage and against same sex marriage and both were recipients of federal bribes in the form of money for their faith-based’ charities.
Archbishop Eugene Marino, roman cult leader from Atlanta resigned in 1990 after a two-year affair with a woman half his age. At least she as over 10 when he plugged her.
The Rev. Terry Hornbuckle, founder of the Agape Christian Fellowship in Arlington, Texas, (a superchurch) was sentenced in August to 15 years in prison for raping two women churchgoers and a third woman, whom he first drugged.
The Rev. Ted Haggard, founder of another superchurch in Colorado resigned as pastor and as president of the National Association of Evangelicals after a hustler exposed his two year binge of drug-fueled cocksucking. Haggard denied that he’d ever inhaled cock.
These stupid jackasses provide so much entertainment that I hesitate to demand that their debaucheries, paid for wtih federal giveaways and tax exemptions, be ended. But I can get the same yuks watching “Jackass†on MTV and it’s a lot cheaper, so I guess I’ll add my name to the growing list of citizens who are fed up with having to pay for the debased lifestyles they’ve chosen.