GOP DEATH WATCH

Bobby Jindal Invites State Employees To Sue Him Over Marriage, Faces Unexpected GOP Challenger

Screen shot 2015-06-30 at 11.58.59 AMLouisiana Governor and 2016 Presidential hopeless Bobby Jindal is making good on his promise to do everything he possibly can to fight the gays.

Just days after marriage equality became the law of the land in the United States, Jindal, also known as “America’s least popular governor,” signed an executive order allowing government employees the legal right to refuse marriage licenses to same-sex couples on religious grounds.

“State employees who express a religious objection to involvement in issuance of same-sex marriage licenses, and judges and justices of the peace may not be forced to officiate a same-sex wedding ceremony when other authorized individuals who have no religious objection are available,” the order read.

Related: Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal Calls Antigay Religious Freedom Laws “Common Sense”

What happens if there are no other “authorized individuals who have no religious objection available,” you ask?

The answer: Nothing. No marriage. And no disciplinary action for the insubordinate state employee either. Imagine the pandora’s box of faith-based objections to serving LGBTs this creates. State medical workers don’t want to treat gay men because they don’t like them? No problem! Public school teachers who disapprove of gay teens? No problem!

According to Jindal, despite the Supreme Court’s ruling, clerks in Louisiana can still deny same-sex marriage licenses, and they needn’t fear any consequences because “numerous attorneys have committed to defend their rights free of charge” should any of them be disciplined for refusing to do their jobs.

That’s right. Jindal has personally wrangled up a gaggle of lawyers willing to work pro bono for any state employee who wants to sue the state. Sadly, judges and clerks still need to be paid for processing these nuisance suits. Courthouses must keep the lights on.

The memo concludes: “Louisiana is resolved to protect the inalienable rights of all it citizens.”

In other Jindal-related news, the governor is currently facing an unexpected local challenger for the 2016 GOP Presidential nomination. A Louisiana crawfish has announced its candidacy and proclaimed itself a “harbinger of doom” for Jindal.

When asked why people should vote for Crawfish instead of Jindal, Crawfish’s campaign said “Crawfish is NOT Bobby Jindal, which really, is reason enough.”

An official Facebook page titled “Can This Crawfish Get More Supporters Than Bobby Jindal?” currently has almost 20,000 followers.

Related: The Best Responses To Gov. Bobby Jindal’s Antigay Executive Order (So Far)

h/t: New Civil Rights Movement