Brady v. Manning Bigger Than Civil War

You kids may be surprised to hear this, but football has never been one of our passions. Shocking, yes, but it’s the truth. We’re captivated by this year’s face off not for the fouls, passes, commercials or even the half-time celebration. This year’s Super Bowl captures our attention simply for all the objectifying attention paid to the game’s biggest stars: Tom Brady and Eli Manning.

It seems everyone is debating which player they find preferable.

The Fug Girls are weighing the men’s commercial, physical and tabloid appeal. CBS News offered a hard hitting comparison of the mama’s boy and the playboy, while The Hollywood Gossip keeps it simple: who’s hunkier? America’s obviously got a crush on beefcakes these days, huh? And our countrymen have obviously lost their minds!

We can’t even believe there’s a debate about which boy’s better. There’s no question in our eyes that Brady’s the top QB. His dashing good looks, supermodel girlfriend and innate style aside, Brady’s rise resembles a fairytale. The Patriots front man came East from California, where he attended Catholic high school, headed to Michigan University and hoped to become a pro footballer, but his odds didn’t look good. In fact, the number one stunner didn’t get snatched up until the 6th round of drafts, making him the 199th pick of the season. Manning, meanwhile, comes from a football legacy. His father played pro, as does his brother, Peyton. No wonder the New York Giants picked him up first thing come draft time.

Manning’s path seemed set from the get go. Brady’s natural star appeal and talent helped rocket him into the upper echelons of American celebrity. And, if you ask us, that’s a far greater achievement than just tossing a ball around.

Anyway, you may have seen this homo-toned Brady lust video, but give it another twirl just for kicks.

Get Queerty Daily

Subscribe to Queerty for a daily dose of #elimanning #queerty #superbowl stories and more


  • flyingcupcake

    Could you at least put up a photo of the right Manning? You’ve got a pic of Tom Brady and Peyton Manning up right now. I love Peyton but I’m guessing you meant to put one up of Eli.

  • ggreen

    That video was as funny as a root canal and as homophobic as anything the Christians put out.

  • John

    Boy, you really don’t know much about football.

    Why, it’s a picture of the New England Patriots and…”New York” Colts. Heh.

  • al


    where did you find this site? it is INCREDIBLE.

  • Hephaestion

    Yup, he’s a right perty little thing. But I think that other football player named Brady is even hotter. Don’t ask me what his name is, but google “hot brady” and you’re sure to find him.

  • Brandon

    AL – I have been reading that site for a while now. It’s a living freak show.

  • animal

    queens just love to feel a part of “real male” experience….does it make you hate yourself less..your face is pressed so close to the glass I can see your breath…

  • Alacer

    Dude! Eli is so much better! besides, he’s cuter AND he’s from my hometown New Orleans, so he gets my vote.

  • emb

    Totally Eli. Although I must point out that Brady seems to me to be possibly overcompensating for something, judging from the string of supermodels…A little too flamboyantly hetero, I think.

  • Dom

    I can’t stand the arrogance of Tom Brady, but I wouldn’t mind 45 minutes in a motel room with him. I can give him better head than Gisele ever could. And Eli Manning is kinda cute, in a dorky sort of way, but I’d rather have his brother Peyton. There’s something about that guy that just screams “gay and hung”!!!

  • Gorgeous Black Women

    I prefer Brady. Yes, he was fking horrible but he’s hotter and that’s how I pick which team to root for.

  • jbran

    Tom Brady- he seems like a total douchebag/moron, but he’s hella cute.

  • Alex Sarmiento

    I hate both Mannings. If anyone’s a douchebag, they are. They’re living proof that America is going in the wrong direction. I’m not mad that the Giants won the Super Bowl; I’m mad that another Manning won another Super Bowl. They just scream “white Anglo-Saxon Protestant heterosexual good-old boys”, and those WASPHGOBs are ruining the country (see George W. Bush and Friends). Had they been led by someone else, I wouldn’t be so angry.

    Tom Brady is still the man. Of course, I’m saying that because he’s from the San Francisco Bay Area.

Comments are closed.