ARREST WARRANTED

BREAKING: Invisible Children Co-Founder Jason Russell Arrested For Vandalizing, Masturbating In Public

We joked today that some of the guys from Invisible Children, the nonprofit behind the Kony 2012 campaign, seemed like the kind of repressed fundamentalist closet cases we knew in college.

Well, IC co-founder Jason Russell (right) might not be gay, but he’s definitely repressed—and apparently that spring snapped last night in San Diego, where police found him masturbating on the corner of Ingraham Street and Riviera Road.

NBC reports police detained Russell, 33 (like Jesus!), in Pacific Beach last night for playing with himself in public and vandalizing cars. Lt. Andra Brown, who was on the scene, believes Russell was also under the influence of alcohol or some other substance.

On the IC website, Russell is described as a Christian who wants to have nine more children with his wife, whom he calls his “best friend for over 23 years.”

Jason “Radical” Russell is a co-founder of Invisible Children, as well as our grand storyteller and dreamer. His sparks of creative intelligence and insanity have propelled IC to redefine the concept of humanitarian work, offering new life to old hope. A filmmaker by trade, Jason graduated from the University of Southern California’s film school with a degree in Cinema Production. He admires Oprah, Bono, Steven Spielberg, Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Baz Luhrmann, and Dan Eldon and believes wholeheartedly in magic and the impossible. Already a proud papa to Gavin Danger and Everley Darling, Jason wants to have nine more children with his beautiful wife Danica‚Äîthe girl who has been his best friend for over 23 years.

Hmm…worshiping Oprah and Baz Luhrmann, overcompensating with nutso boasts of virility, and calling your wife your “best friend”? Jeez, maybe he is a closet case. Or at the very least a hipster douchebag. You named your son Gavin Danger? Seriously?