BREAKING: Sarah Palin to Resign As Alaska Governor


One-time vice presidential hopeful, flag desecrator, and Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin says she’ll resign from office sometime this month and won’t seek another term.

The announcement comes on a Friday before a holiday weekend — the perfect time to break such news. But also? HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!

Palin, you’ll recall, supported Alaska’s 1998 Constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage, but used her first governor veto to block a bill that would’ve banned health benefits for state employees in same-sex relationships because it was unconstitutional — though Palin does not advocate extended benefits to gay couples. Before taking office, Palin ranked “preserving the definition of marriage” among her top three priorities if elected.

Us? We blame the media.