oh jesus

Breaking: Vatican’s Sex Abuse, Gay Prositution Ring Discovered to Be the Work of the Devil

Don’t you wish your company had, next to the chief executive, the chief operating officer, chief security officer, chief technology officer, and chief revenue officer, a chief exorcist officer? The Vatican has one. His name is Father Gabriele Amorth, he’s 85, he’s had the job for 25 years, he’s handled 70,000 cases of “demonic possession,” and he knows why the Vatican is plagued by sex abuse scandals.

Because the devil is in the details. Or rather, THE DEVIL IS IN THE HOLY SEE!

The assassination attempt on Pope John Paul II in 1981? The work of the devil. When that woman attacked Pope Benedict XVI last year? Lucifer was up in that. All those priests molesting young boys? Satan on the move, yo. And certainly the recent uncovering of a gay prostitution ring operating inside the Vatican was the work of Big Red.

It must also explain why former Silver State Christian School principal Daniel Brock, in Colorado, was embroiled in a scandal alleging he fondled two male students! And the reason Brock was acquitted? Angels. And if Brock manages to fulfill his dream of re-entering the education profession? It’ll be the work of Jesus himself. That one of Brock’s accusers, Zach Scadden, killed himself the week after Brock was acquitted? Ugh, the devil again.

Always with a convenient excuse, the Vatican can pretty much blame the devil for all wrong-doing. But nobody ever accused a Bible-thumper of being nothing less than an artful master of spin. Except the devil.

[London Times]

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  • Cam

    What a great way to avoid taking any responsibility for the evils in your organization. Well, I have to ask him this…if HE is the person in charge of looking out for “The Devil”, then shouldn’t he be fired for letting “The Devil” get into the Vatican? And Lastly, if even the Vatican is suseptable to “The Devil” then I guess nobody should be listening to anything the Pope says now…because after all, if “The Devil” is in one part of the Vatican….is any part safe? Perhaps the Pope is just “The Devil” in disguise…isn’t that how the Catholics keep telling he works?

  • terrwill

    Just got off the hellphone with Satan……..He assured me that he is not into kiddie diddling……….. : P

    Nice try Father Gabriele Amoral

  • REBELComx

    Christianity’s most powerful tactic was to convince people that the devil exists. Without the concept of Satan, there wouldn’t be enough fear in order to corral the ignorant and unquestioning masses. The prince of darkness can be blamed for anything! Unless, of course, it would be more influential to blame God. Katrina? God. Earthquake? God. Mass deception and peadophilia easily blamed on human weakness? The devil made them do it.
    The Catholic Church should make Milton into a saint for providing them with a villain more powerful, influential, and popular than their holy book conjures up.

  • romeo

    BTW: this is not the first scandal involving male prostitutes at the Vatican. Read that there was a Cardinal running amok back in the 80’s, I believe. And that’s just what got public. LOL This bunch of queens at the vatican is what give us all a bad name. And what really pisses me off is that they’re sitting on the biggest stash of gay artwork and hellacious cool jewelry, and the fuckers won’t share!

    Love the “exorcist.” LOL The fact that he’s still got his job after being so lousy at it kinda gives you a hint about the vatican’s problem. LMAO

  • Joseph

    The Devil is certainly costing the catholic church a lot of money!

  • romeo

    NEWS FLASH: The pope’s brother is under investigation in Austria. He was the head a of a boys choir there for thirty years. Seems he slapped the kids around and knew of other beatings by supervisors and did nothing to stop it. Also, the Vienna Boys Choir has a sex scandal hitting the news. And these jerk-offs in the Vatican keep trying to tell us how to live OUR lives.

  • terrwill

    @romeo: They explanation is probably that they needed to grab the balls of the Vienna Boys simply to keep their voices high………..

  • B

    No. 5 · Joseph wrote, “The Devil is certainly costing the catholic church a lot of money!” …. which just goes to show how evil and insidious the Devil is!

    It’s the same “argument” used in The Life of Brian, in the scene where the public randomly decides that Brian is the messiah and starts following him. He denies being the messiah and someone says, “Only the real messiah would deny being the messiah”. In his attempt to get away, Brian falls into a pit occupied by a hermit who had taken a vow of silence. Brain manages to piss the hermit off to the point where the hermit says something. The crowd shows up and the hermit says, “I haven’t spoken for 16 years and he made me speak,” meaning that Brian pissed him off so badly that he broke his vow. The crowd shouts, “A miracle!”

    But hey, “The devil made me do it” as as good an excuse as any, given how there is really no excuse whatsoever.

  • Hammar

    Oh, this is pathetic. I need a macho muscled breast right now to cry against.

  • Michael

    Oh…these people. Somehow…I’m gonna need a better excuse than that…cuz I don’t believe in the devil…soo…??? Now what?


  • romeo

    The child abuse scandals hitting Germany now are getting uncomfortably close to the pope. And not just his brother. Holy Cow! (so to speak, LOL)

    Queerty, where are you on this?

  • hephaestion

    I wonder if Father Gabriele Amorth thinks the murder of Pope John Paul I was by the Devil, too? Especially since John Paul II and Benedict are thought by many people in Italy to have been involved in that murder.

  • bobito

    Now, see, I had thought for years that John Paul II was already dead, but his body was being possessed and animated (sort of) by Satan, so this news that ‘the Devil is in the Holy See’ comes as no surprise.

    (And not to digress too much, but did you ever notice how, if you took the things good ole Benedict is saying about homosexuals who want to get married, and substitute the word “Jews” for “same-sex marriage”, it would bear an uncanny resemblance to the Nazi propaganda of the 30’s? Very creepy.)

  • Heather

    Come on! I know this isn’t a real news site, but if you are gonna report on it, then actually report on the whole story & be about facts, and leave the biasm or opinion till the end of your post.

    Yes, the devil is partly to blame. If he wasn’t around, then evil things wouldn’t happen!! But we are ALL given Free Will. A wonderful gift (not slave robots doing some head dudes every command), BUT also a HUGE Responsibility! Now, rather than having all decisions made for us, we are ACCOUNTABLE for our OWN actions. No, your brother didn’t make you do it! I don’t care what your sister did, or if she did it to! Yea…. We are accountable for our own actions!

    So, yes, evil is at play. Yes, possessions are a real deal! But both take the willingness (whether one knows or doesn’t what might happen. Hence why their have been children whom have become possessed. They may not have known what might happen by messing w/ occult stuff, or believed that it would happen. Maybe they’ve done it several times before w/ no issue. But it only takes once), of the individual to allow those temptations/ urges/ desires/ etc to happen.

    And that is what was stated by the entire, unbiased article and by the Priest.

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