We love us some Brian Sims. Whether he’s fighting to ban gay conversion therapy in his home state, or posting adorable #TBT photos of himself in his college football uniform on social media, he can do no wrong in our book.
In a bold new op-ed published his local paper the Metro, Sims tackles an issue that still makes a lot of people uncomfortable: Racism within the LGBTQ community.
“There is racism in the Gayborhood,” he writes. “I know this because black and brown people who live in, shop in, work in, and otherwise come to the Gayborhood like I do, have been saying so for years.”
Right off the bat, Sims explains that racism is more than just treating black and brown people in an outwardly hostile manner.
How about we take this to the next level?
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This seems to be a sticking point for many deniers, the idea that because racism includes acute acts of physical or psychological aggression towards black and brown people, it can’t include, or no longer includes, chronic or latent aggression towards them as well.
Latent aggression like, say, writing “No blacks” or “No Asians” on one’s dating profile, or expecting black and brown LGBTQ people to dress and talk and behave like “everybody else” (a.k.a. white people), whether it’s out in public, at a bar on Saturday night, or inside their places of employment.
Related: Student explains in plain terms exactly why your Grindr “preferences” are actually racist
Sims says LGBTQ people of color are often expected to “assimilate their language or cultural expression” in order to better fit in. When it comes to work, specifically, they are often both paid and promoted less than their white counterparts and used by business owners and organizations to promote a false image of inclusivity.
“Black and brown LGBTQ people are all too often recruited to be the face of service organizations or businesses because doing so helps promote their image, while simultaneously relegating them to front-line or service positions,” he writes.
And he’s not just talking in general. It’s happening inside our very own “Gayborhoods.”
Businesses and organizations that serve the LGBTQ communities aren’t absolved from responsibility for discrimination because of who they serve. In fact, many deserve to be held to the higher standards that they themselves have promoted. … Despite our collective opposition to the hateful policies and rhetoric, there is still racism in the Gayborhood and it is incumbent upon us to stop it
Related: Manager of popular D.C. gay bar insists he’s not racist despite damning evidence to the contrary
So what’s the solution?
Well, Sims says, we can start by simply opening our eyes to the problem. Then we can look for ways to come together and fix it.
“At a time when being an ‘ally’ and recognizing one’s ‘privilege’ are quickly becoming just liberal buzzwords, there has never been a more important time to act substantively as an ally in support of black and brown people in the Gayborhood, and everywhere else.”
He concludes, “From promoting collaboration and lifting voices of equality to admonishing discrimination, I owe it to the people who elected me, and to the communities I can most impact, to be louder and set the best example of a genuine ally as I can.”
NOUHAVENT
More gays forcing gays to be ashamed of who they want to sleep with. Screw off Brian Sims and your welfare sex you want to set up. I say this as a minority myself, I don’t need pity sex or forced sex with someone who would not be attracted to me. You know what that sounds like right, shaming others into forced sexual relationships with people they aren’t physically attracted to? No of course you don’t because choosing who you can sleep with is a cornerstone of gay rights.
Ksb1978
Wait, so you CHOOSE to sleep with men?? I guess I was under the idea being gay/bi is an innate orientation we have NO choice over and THAT was the cornerstone of gay rights. You not wanting black/brown/Asain in your bed based on biased ideals, however is YOUR bigoted choice.
PhuturePrimitive
Ksb1978, I’m pretty sure he meant what KINDS of men he chooses to sleep with.
NOUHAVENT
@Ksb1978 lame attempt by SJW to race bait a minority. Funny how you didn’t read that I am a minority myself and don’t need white saviors to tell other white men they don’t have a choice in who they sleep with. I would try to explain further but seeing how you responded I’ll let you be, and see you off to your safe space, lest you be triggered by the real world.
Godabed
First of all this isn’t about who you sleep with, so maybe you need to learn how to read better. The fact that racism is in the gay community extends far beyond whom you would like to stick it to. The fact that you relegate black and brown people just to the bedroom should be a clue to you that something more is wrong with your perception of race in the Community.
If you actuallty read the article which it’s clear you didn’t, Discrimination based on race hits black and brown people in gay spaces where they work, shop, and just being social within the community. Stay on topic or be quiet troll.
NOUHAVENT
@Godabed thank you for telling a brown person as Brian called us, reducing us to mothing more than skin color their opinion is wrong. Is this the vaunted non racism Brian was talking about or you practice?
Don’t tell me about discrimination because I have faced discriminatory and so has my family in services being denied, housing, and educational opportunities. Not wanting to sleep with someone who does nothing for you sexually is not racism. Take several seats back.
Juanjo
First of all sweetums, anyone can claim to be anyone or anything on the internet and they do. Rachel Dolezal took that a little farther than most but nonetheless the fact remains, until you prove it I don’t believe you are a minority anything. You might be a well know neurosurgeon with a respectable CV and looking hot as hell. But it is equally likely you are just some troll who is often featured in those photo line-ups posted online of Walmart “late night OMG how could anyone leave home looking like that”! The mere fact you use trollish vocabulary like SJW makes you highly suspect as a Brieffart denizen who is trolling.
Second, everyone has certain things they find sexually attractive and things they do not. This can be as simple as the shape of a chest or roundness of a butt. It might be any manner of physical or even other characteristics. However if you are simply refusing to consider an entire class of people based on their perceived race or ethnicity, you might want to reconsider your selection process. Your overreaction to the article indicates you have some issue to work out for yourself. The fact is that if you are only sexually attracted to dwarves who are red beards, have full beards, and resemble Bombur from the Hobbit movie, then it is unlikely you are going to be dating any Hispanics, Asians, Blacks, or most Caucasians for that matter. And more power to you. I wish you luck in finding your perfect partner.
Most people are not that specific in their sexual turn-ons. And if one is simply announcing no Asians or no Blacks in a dating profile then one is definitely discriminating based upon racial stereotypes.
NOUHAVENT
@Juanjo So now I have a problem because I choose not to care if someone says they don’t want fats, fems , Asian, Latino or blacks? I rather they be upfront on what they want or into than waste time. You shaming them into not being upfront is still not going to change who they are attracted to. All you’re doing is making yourself proud by seeming enlightened but yet dismissing others easily and saying they have issues.
startenout
As a racial monority myself, I have an ability to READ an entire article which you apparently lack since he clearly states racial discrimination from clothing and hair to yes sexual partners. He also doesn’t pin it on white people since I have seen the same “no blacks” and “no asians” ignorance from black AND Asian people that’s coming from you and a your own self-importance. Or loathing? I honestly cannot tell, but instead of railing against someone making a stand, how about YOU actually find something positive and constructive to stand for instead of trying to tear down people actually attempting to make a difference.
NOUHAVENT
@startenout Yea it did speak if other things but that’s not what I wrote about, and what? Do you not turn away anyone on Grindr? Do you not have physical requirements someone has to meet in order to sexually arouse you? Or you do enlightened that you sleep with anyone because you don’t want to offend them? Race is a physical characteristic and because you don’t find them arousing does not make you a racist. It means you don’t want to sleep with them, and everyone has a right to chose who they sleep with..
Jack Meoff
Wow this thread went totally off topic real quick. Hook up preferences were not the main topic of this article and have been discussed on this site ad infinitum. What is being missed here is an opportunity to discuss the myriad other ways that latent racism in perpetuated in the gay community. Stop skimming articles for buzz words and start reading them and then giving thoughtful on topic comments.
NOUHAVENT
@Jackmeoff Hookup preferences were not the main but it is what I talked about. I don’t need a white man to act like an ally but call us brown and black people. I’m surprised he didn’t say yellow people to since he’s going off just skin color but being an ally.
I have fought my own battles against racists, my entire family has as well. My mother being told to go back to Mexico on a city bus, I as a child having to take tests to prove I shouldn’t be in special ed classs because they thought I didn’t have a command of English. Not a single instance did an ally come to defend us, we defended ourselves. So thank you very much for not being racist. Sorry I I didn’t throw a parade for you or Brian Sim.
Did I get to the topic at hand? You all happy that you don’t sexually discriminate because that’s being an ally?
Godabed
@NOUHAVENT I am brown as well, and it’s clear you have trouble reading too. The fact is there is plenty of data showing discrimination pointing to specifically black and brown people being discriminated against in the lgbtq community. in terms of Rep. Sims he’s referring to the independent study that was reported on in the gayborhoods in Philly, and a local townhall meetings. After a video of a local bar owner went viral for calling black and brown people the N word.
You may be brown but you certainly aren’t “woke”. And if you are still talking about your sexual desires in terms of racism in the gay community you are one of those narrow minded people who don’t see the full picture. Educate yourself, and again learn to read.
Black Pegasus
While awareness can always act as a deterrent to bigotry it will never excuse the obsession with the white male phenotyoe that is evident throughout the globe. In almost every culture, whiteness is seen as pure, desirable, and embodies certain social rewards associated with status, health and education. All of these attributes are built-into our collective consciousness. Black, Asian and White gay men are all affected by this psychological fallacy. Which explains why Black and Asian men within gayborhoods also prefer white men.
Understanding this of course requires more introspection than most are willing to extend.
Neonegro
Good point BP.
In the gay situation however, it is different.
Most black gays do not see white gays as desirable or more desirable.
Bromancer7
I guess since I do not sleep with women I must be a misogynist.
Juanjo
Bro – read the article and try to make a comment remotely relevant to the article
startenout
Your sexuality meaning you don’t sleep with women is not even sort of the same as saying someone’s skin color makes them unattractive. I live how the racist trolls always try that argument to justify racially stereotyping millions-billions of people of any one race.
Bromancer7
@Juanjo Oh, sorry. I guess since I don’t sleep with black women I must be a racist misogynist. Better?
Bromancer7
@startenout Why is it so hard for you little snowflakes to understand that having a preference is not racism? I like vegetables. I eat a lot of vegetables. But I hate olives. Despise them. Does that mean I use my position of power over vegetables to suppress, harass, or intimidate olives?
Racism is very clearly defined. Someone having a sexual preference that does not include black or Asian people doesn’t make them racist. It simply means they don’t find them sexually attractive. It’s really not that difficult to understand. One can have the utmost respect for those of other races, support their causes, have them as friends and relatives, and see them as complete equals, all while not wanting to have sex with them.
And let’s just, for a moment, assume that everyone with a sexual preference that doesn’t include blacks or Asians is indeed racist. What exactly do you see doing about it? Do you think whining from behind your keyboard is going to make racists less racist? Do you think trying to force racists into having sex with black people is going to make them less racist? Do you think posting a picture with a cute sign to Instagram is going to change a racist? Should we pass laws making it illegal to refuse to have sex with a black man? How, exactly, do you suggest we go about making people want to have sex with those they do not find sexually attractive, for whatever reason?
Godabed
I read the full metro article, and for once I am happy that queerty found an article with some actual meat to it.
I have been saying for years on here that racism within the community is not just about whom you date. how people minimize it to just sex just shows how childish and narrow minded some in the community really are. If people somehow thinks those same prejudices based on race, don’t hurt black and brown people in looking for employment, job advancement, social interaction, not just sexual ones. They are choosing to wear rose colored glasses. Because the gay community like the straight community doesn’t suddenly change the perceptions of black and brown people because you sleep with the same sex.
Like Brian pointed out in his full article, we need to be better allies, and acknowledge those micro aggressions and just out right aggressions in regards to race, and gender because it’s a big issue within the community that extend far beyond whom you wish to have sex with.
Xzamilloh
Examples supported with evidence, please? My black ass doesn’t need better allies… just don’t be an a-hole in your life and to other people, and I won’t and we can spread that message to the rest of the world. What I don’t need is “allies” like you treating us like pet projects incapable of having our own autonomy because we need white daddy saving us from the white devil. And newsflash: microaggresions is just that…microagressions. Small stuff that doesn’t even matter in the big scheme of things. Or maybe dealing with actual racists has made me jaded to this Tumblr-esque nonsense of first worlders who have probably never dealt with any kind of discrimination and need their “moment”
Me2
@ Xzamilloh. I see where you’re coming from but I disagree. The real issue of race in current times goes far beyond someone being an asshole. It’s institutional and all whites benefit from it whether they’re racist or not. So I absolutely believe that White Allies are needed, not to save or rescue minorities, but to fight back against the flawed and unequal system from the inside.
Godabed
@Xzamilloh how you choose to measure acts of aggression towards you whether micro or otherwise is relative to you. But the affects of those aggression can be devastating to other look at the suicide rates and deaths for black and brown lgbt youths not to mention the murders. As for evidence you can read, I know you can from all your Str8upgayporn post.
Research the incidents in the gayborhood in philly specifically I’m sure you will find the study and information they found while attempting to find evidence of wide spread discrimination. Heck Queerty even reported the study previously, so it shouldn’t take you long.
Just because I use a different screen name on here, don’t think you can come for me. If you can take the time to B*tch about what I just said, you can use a search engine to do the research too.
I’m not your ally guy, I’m part of the same marginalize group within the gay community so don’t try to take the high and mighty road, take that sh*t some please else. I am certain any experiences you may have had are valid because UI can assure you I have experienced them too, and more likely than not I’ve even advocated for you without you even knowing it. Allies are very important in all struggling marginalized communities because no one can do it alone, the Civil rights movement of old was only won with allies, Slavery was ended because those allies advocated for the voices that were ignored and not even considered people. So it’s stupid to try and hold you nose up to having allies.
Go troll someone else with your nonsense.
Xzamilloh
@Me2, I said nothing about “white allies”, but “allies” like Godabed who look at us as black people as these oppressed people who have nothing and just need help that we are incapable of getting ourselves. I’d say a “system” that elected its first black president is one that is far removed from the days of yesteryear, although far from being reformed. I’m just a little sick of progressives on here acting like we need to be handled with kid gloves because the world is just too big and bad for us. We’re just as capable of making a difference and marking our territory in America as anyone else, and I’m not buying into this victim narrative, and it IS a victim narrative. There are actual racists out there we could be giving attention to instead of these constant stories about “microaggressions” and “systemic racism” with no clear examples of the racism that is enforced systematically.
Xzamilloh
@Godabed, I don’t even know who the hell you are, so whatever username you use on Str8UpGayPorn has no bearing on me, because I obviously DON’T use any other screen name than this one because I have NOTHING to hide. You don’t get to talk out of both sides of your mouth when it suits you. How many “trolls” have valid experiences? This isn’t a competition… I didn’t tell I experience actual racism to one-up you, so whatever you personally experienced is irrelevant to what I was saying. You can’t be an ally to a group when you don’t even know what it is you’re fighting for. What is it that we as black people need from you as an ally? What is the system doing to us? I can answer all of these questions but I want to know what it is you bring to the table… which I’m assuming is not very much as you wrote paragraphs of nothing.
Queerty, this social justice BS will be the death of you.
Neonegro
White gay racism is totally a non-issue for me.
There is absolutely nothing I need or desire from white gays.
The right to self segregate is a human right.
As long as my all black sex parties are not banned, I am good.
startenout
Segregation isn’t a “right” and your touring that is Ann ignorant disrespect to all civil rights activists of all colors and sexualities throughout history.
Neonegro
Wrong startenout,
statenout,
I did not say legal imposed segregation is a right.
Self segregation (the right to associate or not associate with anyone or any group) is an individual right.
Do you understand the difference??????
nycbklyn
Most black gays are so rude and tacky with white gays in NYC … I avoid them at all costs and than they are so jealous and lit when thry see bi and straight black men fawning over me white latino ass
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
Boo to racism! Thanks, Brian. Thumbs ups & heart emojis & rainbows etc
KaiserVonScheiss
I’m sceptical that racism is a big an issues as he’s making it out to be.
As for the dating thing, people have preferences. It may seem asinine to write “no blacks,” but it’s a dating profile, not a restaurant. Just because they don’t date blacks, doesn’t mean they aren’t friends with blacks.
Personally, I’m usually attracted to white people, but that’s not always the case. I don’t even really have a “type.” If I like a guy, I like him. I’ve been attracted to twinks, nerds, whites, blacks, Asians, you name it.
And when it comes to “acting white,” can a race really own a style of dress or how to talk? Sure, we associate certain clothing types with blacks and white. But let’s remember, people are individuals. Can you rally tell me that many blacks aren’t angry with blacks who “act white”? Many whites are also angry with people who “act black.” They were called wiggers when I was growing up.
People are individuals and must be treated as such. There will always be racism, but I highly doubt it is as serious as so many claim it to be.
startenout
White people always tend to claim that it’s not as serious as some people claim it isn’t. That’s because white privilege means you don’t experience it as anything more than a concept. That’s why Brian Sims statement is important. That’s why you probably will never understand.
KaiserVonScheiss
White privilege is a racist term. It makes a judgment of all white people.
Racism:
prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one’s own race is superior.
the belief that all members of each race possess characteristics or abilities specific to that race, especially so as to distinguish it as inferior or superior to another race or races.
OrchidIslander
For someone who is “doubtful” that racism is serious, it is pretty ironic that you played the racism card as quickly as you did when the issue of white privilege arose. You even went so far as to give us a full bore definition of what racism is. Your response was exactly that of someone who had some racism chucked their way and wasn’t having it and decidedly not that of someone who felt that racism was no big deal. One could infer that when you are the object of racism it is decisively a bigger deal than when you are not.
KaiserVonScheiss
@OrchidIslander
Racism against whites is socially acceptable while racism against minorities is completely hated and vilified.
Anti-white racists like Franchesca Ramsey are given platforms to spout their racist bullshit.
I never said racism wasn’t serious. I said it was not as big a deal as he was making it out to be. That’s the thing with SJWs – they think everything is racist, sexist, etc. They are ideologues who ignore reality.
Wilberforce
That Brian guy is totally hot. But as usual with politicians, he shifts attention to a nonissue. Racism is being unkind to other races, and I just don’t see it in the gay world. No one is kept out of the clubs, or treated unkindly while there. Indeed, all the colors talk and drink and dance together nicely.
I guess this is just another way to change the subject from serious issues, such as stopping hiv, or working on enda, or caring for gay homeless. It’s a tactic that shallow queens have been using for some thirty years, and is still going strong.
OrchidIslander
Your sarcasm is so dry that I could almost believe you meant what you said about people being kept out of clubs, gay people of different races being unkind to each other and that we all drink and dance together. Nice job!
barkomatic
I haven’t heard anyone say that one is racist for not being attracted to a certain ethnicity — and if they are that’s ludicrous. I just feel that its rude to say “No Asians”, “No Blacks” or “No Whites” in an online profile. I feel that both extreme ends of the political spectrum are trying to drive a wedge between people for different agendas and we can’t let them get away with it. Just be kind.
bookworm
Although race relations is always topical, I’m currently more concerned with what the Trump dictatorship is trying to do to the LGBTQ community. He’s trying to obliterate us from the national consciousness. Not counting anyone in the community in the 2020 census? Seriously? If that isn’t reminiscent of Nazi Germany…..
KaiserVonScheiss
Only a paranoid would think that.
Explain to me how the government NOT knowing who is or isn’t gay reminiscent of Nazi Germany?
And how is Trump a dictator? Has he declared martial law, suspended habeas corpus? Is he executing his enemies? Has he arrested congress?
natekerchel
No Kaiser – he has not YET done those things. However, he lies to rule through Executive Order, much like Hitler used his Enabling Act. There is no doubt that trump would love to just use EO’s if he could. He is someone who does not let the rules stand in the way of whatever he wants. It’s why he goes so crazy when the courts stop him in his tracks, so he tries to undermine them in the same way he undermines the media. If you look closely at the career of any self-respecting dictator, or wannabe dictator, you will see the pattern that trump is following – subvert truth, attack the media, attack the judiciary when they disagree with you, rule by decree, replace reality with whatever fantasy world you live in. Now tell me that is not trump. I will remind you of the childish chanting of ‘lock her up’. That was a clear indication of what he is capable of when he is being thwarted. The comparisons with the early career of Hitler are legitimate – however much you dislike it.
natekerchel
correction – ‘likes to rule’
KaiserVonScheiss
@natekerchel
Pure delusion. Most modern presidents rule through executive orders because congress has abdicated their responsibility.
I am no fan rules being made by presidential decree. Laws should be made by congress, not the president. I also think the president has too much power to start foreign wars.
Some of Trump’s attacks on the media are totally justified. But that’s all they are – verbal attacks. He hasn’t suspended the press or don’t anything of the sort. The MSM are still perfectly free to lie and spread their fake news.
While a dictatorship is possible, it is unlikely in the United States. There are fifty states and fifty governors. I doubt very much that they would sit on their hands while a sitting president becomes a total dictator.
trell
Haven’t we had this debate last month? And the month before that? And before that….etc?
Writing ‘No This/That/Whatever’ on your Grindr profile doesn’t strike me as racist or discriminatory in a sense. You are simply expressing a preference for the type of person you dont wish to hook up with. I just think from a politically correct point of view, it’s better to leave the negative aspects and potentially offending labels out. Reading a profile that says ‘Slim guys preferred’ as opposed to ‘No Fats’ for example will probably get more responses….
….but the issue about sexual attraction to certain ethnicities and not being attracted to others, is not racism, or discriminatory. It is a personal sexual preference. Racism, sexism or any other prejudice takes effect on a social level.
But Brian is so hot. I don’t mind if he wants to make a mountain out of a molehill as long as we get more photos of him!
Kieran
This would be an interesting topic for Brian to discuss at a black church. Unfortunately, being gay means he wouldn’t be allowed to actually speak in the church, but maybe he could talk to some people out in the parking lot.
am_psi
“No racism in our ghetto.”
miserylovedme24
Kind of funny that this is coming from an incredibly hot white guy…whose own boyfriend is white.
Xzamilloh
Right… tell people to stop being racist. Tell men not to rape. Tell people to not murder… because when action doesn’t do it, just asking rapists/murderers/racists to stop doing that stuff always works. Here’s the deal: You don’t need to tell people who aren’t racist to not be racist because the ones being racist aren’t going to stop doing so.
natekerchel
Clearly, this issue is as divisive as it has always been. Reading the comments, it is clear that there is not even an agreed definition of ‘racism’, never mind how to deal with it. Until that happens nothing will change. As for the article itself – I did not get the impression, as at least one contributor seems to have done, that physical/sexual preference was the focus or that the author was telling anyone who they should sleep with. He was making the point that racism exists in the lgbt world and giving what he considers to be examples of this. People have the right to disagree with his view of course. Maybe a virtual apartheid never existed in the Southern States of the USA until 40 years ago. Maybe people of color don’t still face discrimination in things like pay and access to services. Maybe that is all just made up. That version is what some people would like us all to believe. The author of the article is making a valid point about the existence of racism in our world. You know the old saying ‘don’t shoot the messenger’……
junk4sts
Racist behavior can only be attacked at the individual level, it’s one of those “man in the mirror” things, and it’s something that we each have to decide to eradicate from our lives. I don’t think we can ever be done with racist behavior because those who truly are racist either don’t believe they are racist, or they think they are right to be that way. That there are racist people within the gay community is disappointing because on some level a gay man should understand just how subtle hateful/racist behavior can be AND a gay man knows how being judged just for who you are, is unfair, narrow minded, petty hurtful and harmful.
I don’t think we should through around the phrase “white privilege” as much as is done but I do agree that many who are white and “don’t think there is a race problem” either in the LBGT community or in the USA as a whole, just don’t see what is right in front of them because they don’t have to live every day of their lives as an obvious minority. Racism is real, but it is subtle.
As for the “no this, that or the other” in a grinder profile, that falls somewhere between narrow minded and racist, how can you really know you don’t want something unless you try it?
For most of my life I REFUSED to even try Hummus, it just seemed like something I’d hate, then one day at a favorite restaurant I decided to try Hummus, and you know it’s really not bad, so I tried different varieties and found that in general I do like Hummus but I don’t necessarily like every variety I try, This analogy applies to dating and hook up as well, you won’t know unless you try and if you are unwilling to try, you are either narrow minded or possibly have some racist tendencies, because at the end of the day, a hot guy is a hot guy no matter what color he is and the color of the hole or the pole really doesn’t change how it feels or works.
Being narrow minded is not always racist, but being racist is always narrow minded
Roan
Wow. Totally not shocked that the QUEERTY crowd thinks that excluding someone bcuz they’re a certain race, isn’t racist.
liam.darcy
Well considering that Queerty keeps publishing stories like this, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that much of the readership actually agrees that racism is a problem which needs to be addressed. I think the reason the Queerty crowd seems reactionary is because the rage-monkeys are the first to pound on their keyboards. I’ve been reading this site off and on for 8 years, and this is the first time I’ve commented. I’m guessing there are a lot more people like me.
Prax07
I think one needs to take in to account not all gays live in affluent areas, or metro areas, or areas where minorities of color want “equality” socially with whites.
Here in Scranton we have a saying, that came about because we’ve had a massive influx of black and latino’s from low income areas of Philly, Jersey, and NY. Not to mention all the non-english speakiers from all over latin america. The saying is “We don’t get the Huxtable’s here.” Meaning we Do get Bloods, Cryps, dealers, thugs, hoods, and all those types.
I don’t mingle with these guys on grindr or scruff, because they’re scary, we’d have zero in common, and I just plain don’t want to. I know I’m racist, and I’m perfectly ok with that because the alternative is being ok with hanging around with thugs, dealers, and gang members.
surreal33
Mr Prax07, I can respect you for admitting you are a racist, however, I still believe you are inbred vermin.
natekerchel
To know and admit you are racist is usually considered the start to overcoming it – but in this case that seems unlikely as you claim to be ‘comfortable’ with it. However, I think that you are mistaken to think there is no what you call ‘other alternative’. There is never a reason to be racist or homophobic or sexist – only excuses.
Mo Bro
Your genuineness alone deserves a standing ovation.
Heywood Jablowme
I guess your critics here live in safer, whiter places than you do.
I guess they want you to stop being a racist by becoming a drug addict. It’s the only fair thing for you to do. What other possible interaction could you have with them? Get over your white privilege and just become a drug addict already. Buy their product and he’p them out.
(And don’t worry about going to prison because, after all, you’re white so you won’t go to prison! You’ll just be court-ordered to sit in a 12-step church basement talking about God.)
surreal33
Kudos to Mr Sims, for acknowledging racism is real and prevalent in the gay community.
Unfortunately, in America, we are culturally condition to believe white is superior and black is inferior.
Sadly for this to change white folks would have to relinquish the position of power which they currently enjoy.
IDoNotHaveToAgreeWithYou
No what’s said is how POC queens will carry on over whites hurting their feelings while their own people are so violently homophobic you have to live on the DL so they don’t kill you.
Mo Bro
AGAIN with the sexual affirmative action?
Sorry, guys, but attraction isn’t political, try as you might to make it so.
Prax07
No excuse to be racist? What’s the excuse for the black guys that moved here to my neighborhood and immediately got on welfare, wearing gang colors, low hanging jeans off their butts, selling or buying drugs down on the corner, and breaking into homes?
On Grindr they post on their profiles looking for generous, looking for roses, looking for favors…meaning they want cash or drugs in exchange for sex. Hard not to be racist when all one ever sees is the worst a minority race has to offer. We don’t get the Huxtable’s here, we get the welfare druggie gang bangers, so yes, most whites here in Scranton are racist behind our locked doors, discussing between ourselves the blight these people bring to the area. Sometimes racism is justified when the opposite side deserves it.
natekerchel
You contradict yourself – you talk about ‘Huxtables’ meaning educated middle class Black families, but then you admit to be ‘racist’. You cant be half racist – singling out only certain people. You are either a racist or you are not. What you mean is you are happy with Black people so long as they behave, walk, talk, dress like you. So yes you are a racist – and no there is no excuse. Do you think there are no white people who behave in the way you describe? How about those uneducated, gun-slinging compound dwelling rednecks? Are they just fine for you? How about the dozens of crazy white people who go around shooting people in schools and malls and cinemas? Are they just fine for you? There are ‘bad’ people in all races and sections of society – even up into the current White House. If you then stereotype a whole group because of the actions of the few then yes you are a racist. No one makes you a racist – it is your issue.
Chris
I hoped that this article would focus on things like gay people of color being unable to find work, or finding themselves treated with undue suspicion while they shopped, or even being ignored at the gay restaurants and bars — all while in the gayborhood. You know, examples of old school racism that can be acted upon. Instead, we get the same old tropes about being selective in who we want to date. Silly me.
Heywood Jablowme
Actually, Sims doesn’t refer to “dating” apps racism. Click on the link to the Metro article: he doesn’t even mention that angle.
The Queerty writer just threw that in, inappropriately, because Queerty is absolutely freaking obsessed with that subject. Then the commenters here responded to that in the usual way!
IDoNotHaveToAgreeWithYou
He should be talking about all the violent black and hispanic homophobia instead of trying to push the old white guilt trip. Whites are over that and we aren’t going back.
natekerchel
No homophobia with white people? How about this entire ‘government’? How about all the christian extremists? How about all the ‘redneck’ uneducated compound dwelling racists and homophobes? None of the white at all? My personal experience of homophobia has only come from other white people. So lets not pretend it is not a white issue.
SportGuy
Very nice article about the biggest issue facing the gay community. He’s an awesome guy.
Heywood Jablowme
I clicked on the link to the Metro article, suspecting (correctly) that maybe commenters in this thread were jumping to incorrect conclusions about what Sims said.
Sims doesn’t refer to sex/”dating” apps at all in the article.
He does make this mysterious statement: “Whether in casual conversations, meetings, social groups, or working groups, expecting that black and brown employees will be translators between their less diverse organization, and the communities of color they serve is pandering, not serving.” What the hell does THAT mean? Does he want whites in such organizations to just take a wild guess as to what the POC want/need, and thereby look ridiculous?
Sims has a couple of paragraphs about trans women. (He doesn’t mention trans men; perhaps there are no trans men in Philly?) Well come on. How many gay men have ever even met a trans woman? I’m over 50 and lived in NYC for many years and I’ve met exactly two trans women in my entire life. I was polite, and not particularly curious, and… that was that. Was I supposed to do… something else? Explain, please.
After reading the article I’m not even sure who’s the intended audience. Is Sims addressing gay white men in positions of authority at non-profit organizations? Maybe! I know I’m never going to be in a position to hire ANYONE for anything (even a cleaning person for my home, unfortunately, lol) so I couldn’t quite figure out what Sims was trying to say.
rextrek
..Im not sure WHERE this started but at 57 – been out since 1980 at 20, I never seen a problem in clubs with discrimination – why now? We as LGBTQ people should be VERY EMPATHETIC & the last to be bigoted or discriminatory towards anyone!
nycbklyn
Living in Harlem for 20 years ive experienced alot of racism from black gays, racism is always weighted on the white gays
surreal33
If “black gays” were truly racist they would be able to prevent gentrification of Harlem. “Black gays” might be prejudice toward “white gays” however, to be racist you must have power. “Black gays” do not have the economic power to be racist.
galatians328
it is, of course, the essentialist focus of ‘the body’ and the ‘experience of the body’ that very nearly guarantees that gay men, bi men, are color-conscious/color of skin, color of eyes, color of hair, etc and ipso facto race conscious.
WindsorOntario
What an elitist statement and story. The real problem in the gay community is that of classism. Go to a large city and it’s all about what you do, what’s your degree in and where do you work. I guarantee if you work as a cashier at a gas station you will meet nobody. I know of no other minority group that knowingly treats its own members the way gay men do. Considering how many young gay men have had to quit high school due to bullying and harassment, and then survive after being kicked out of their homes any way possible, you’d think that the gay community would have a bit more empathy and compassion for each other. We expect perfection – now – whether it’s looks, success, materials – and you are dropped the second these people realize you aren’t worth being seen with.
That exists within the gay community along all colour lines. Again, I know of no minority community where the requirement to live among your people is lots of money. Any gay neighbourhood you better expect to be paying the highest rents in the city. It’s not racism. It’s the fact that gay men think they’re better than each other.
Heywood Jablowme
“I guarantee if you work as a cashier at a gas station you will meet nobody.”
Nobody? That makes no sense. Obviously when there are a lot of gay cashiers and the like, they can date each other.
What bullsh*t. Heterosexual people certainly tend to stick to their own socio-economic groups also. If anything, there is MUCH more cross-class dating in the gay world than there is in the straight world.
Why do you blame the gay community for everything?
Heywood Jablowme
Seriously – as a gay guy from an abusive and fairly poor background, I find your comment ignorant and offensive.
When I came out I worked at a lot of low-level jobs and I had no trouble finding other gay guys who also worked at low-level jobs. I was maybe cute enough to go the “sugar daddy” route but that didn’t interest me. Now that I’m older I have SOME money, not a lot, and I probably wouldn’t date someone a lot poorer than me who’d just be a financial drain (and most likely, none too grateful about it either).
I’ve noticed your posts before. If you have trouble finding a boyfriend it is not necessarily the fault of the entire gay community. Grow up!