A 70-year-old British publicist named Max Clifford is currently on trial for the sexual assault of 11 women in the UK, though it seems more like he’s on trial for having an itsy-bitsy penis after a jury was excused earlier this month for literally laughing themselves out of the courtroom over his two-inch dick.
The Guardian reports that judge Anthony Leonard asked the jury to “settle down and remember where you are” after the revelation sent them into a massive giggle fit.
Clifford is being accused of the sexual assault of 11 underage girls he promised to turn into movie stars for sexual favors in the early ’80s. One of his alleged victims testified earlier this month, claiming he had masturbated in front of her and ejaculated on her breastbone. He groped her and also claimed to have had sex with Diana Ross.
The woman also said she believed Clifford’s two-inch penis to be well-endowed at the time. “I had only seen one before, I had never seen one in that proximity and that situation,” she said.
When asked how she knew the defendant’s penis was only two inches when erect, the witness remarked “I have a small mouth. I do, my dentist has always said.”
The jury erupted into laughter and was excused from the courtroom.
The defense is alleging that victims fabricated the series of events and are attempting to pass the “fantasy” off as reality. But that’s obviously not the case — who would ever “fantasize” about a two inch penis?