A British man is accused of raping several men he met on Grindr, inviting them to tea and then spiking their drinks before taking advantage of them, Metro reports.
30-year-old Sam Ashley is accused of sexually assaulting four different men in their 20s between June and December 2016.
A Portsmouth Crown Court heard how one of the men “blacked out” after taking just a “couple of sips” from a cup of tea from Ashley only to awake later to find himself being raped.
“We kissed and it went blank,” the man, a university student, testified. “The next thing I remember he was behind me and we were having sex.”
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“He was quite forceful and I remember I sort of gripped the pillow and I was more concentrating on trying to figure out where I was and just stop the room spinning. Things went black again and he was pushing my head down on to his penis.”
The man described Ashley as “desperate for reassurance” and repeatedly said “I love you, do you love me?” while abusing him.
Related: Grindr sued by ex-employee who claims HR supervisor drugged and raped him
Three other men claim they were also abused by Ashley, two of whom say they were allegedly raped.
One of the alleged rape victims says Ashley said he had “terminal colon cancer” to get him to agree to go on a date with him. The man met Ashley for a drink then they when back at his house where he testified that he “tried to shove poppers under his nose.” The man passed out and later awoke to find Ashley trying to have sex with him in bed. He told police he “lost count of the number of times he said no.”
Another victim, who says he met Ashley on Grindr, told the court he felt “as if he had inhaled laughing gas” after drinking tea with him. He had passed while they were having sex and later “saw a number of sex toys on the bed which Sam said he had used on him” while he was unconscious.
And another man says he woke up “sore” and “felt as if he had sex” after meeting up with Ashley.
Ashley is charged with four counts of rape, two counts of attempted rape, and four counts of administering a substance with intent. He denies everything.
The trial, which is expected to last another three weeks, continues.
Related: And the dating app most likely to get you raped, killed, or both is…
Vince
Good thing then it didn’t happen with me. This Ashley dude would have more than colon cancer to worry about..
ChrisK
I agree. I’d fuck their shit up when I came to.
Vince
This is the reason why guys like Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, and that UK dude that drugged the boys with GHB would make sure the they were dead. The dead don’t tell any tails. I’m sure it was going there though. Like if he ever gets out.
LABrad
I don’t understand. Why were they having tea in the first place?
So they saw the guy and didn’t want to have sex with him,
but they stayed anyway? To have tea?
Donston
You may be trolling, but I’ll respond anyway.
Who said that they didn’t plan on having sex with him and were drugged before they even had any say? Rape and (most of the time) sexual assault rarely has to do with actual sex. It’s about getting off on overpowering, dominating, manipulating and taking advantage of someone. For “queer” men it’s also more likely to be driven by self-loathing and/or internalized homophobia.
ChrisK
It’s the UK. It’s like us going out for a coffee.
Kangol
Rape is a crime of power, not just sex. Some of these rapists who drug their victims are attractive or appealing, like Bill Cosby when he was younger, and could find willing consensual sexual partners, but they apparently want to have complete control and take advantage of the victim’s vulnerability. I’m very glad all four of these British men survived and were able to ID this monster to get him off the street. In contrast, don’t forget those gay/bi/DL men in Toronto killed over the last few years by that gay serial killer. In his case, at least one man was able to get away before things got out of hand, but eight men, and possibly more, were not so fortunate.
CastleSF
If I recall, the last victim of this deranged Toronto serial killer didn’t get away, He was found tied up with (possibly willingly) by the police in the killer’s dungeon or basement. Just beware of any guy out there that harbors these dark bondage and leather fantasy. If they go overboard, you won’t be coming out alive.
Kangol
The last victim was found tied up, but another one, Peter Sgromo, did escape, using martial arts. The Toronto serial killer, Bruce McArthur, grabbed his date’s neck, nearly snapping it and killing him on the spot. But fortunately Sgromo knew how to fight back using martial arts and was able to leap out of the van and get away. The authorities are now searching at least 75 properties where McArthur worked and installed planters, in which body parts have been found. Just terrifying, really.
tnguy222
The perp should go the same way as Lotfali Khan Zand
CastleSF
The theory that rape is about control and not about sex can only apply to the female victims. It really has to be re-examined in a more nuanced way in regards to sexual assaults involving two males. I believe most of the cases are more about sex and only a little to do with control. In addition, men are more equipped to defend themselves in most situations than women, who usually are not a match to their attacker in terms of physical strength.
Donston
You sound kinda smart sometimes and then like a complete insenstive jackhole at other times. Drugging multiple men who were likely going to have sex with you anyway is indeed about power, control and manipulation. It’s of course connected to the actual sex, because feeling those things is what most gets these men off. But that’s also what men who rape women mostly get off on. And what about men who are gang-raped in prison so they can become submissive or raped purely for entertainment or sport? What about men who kill their male rape victims? Or men who simply kill the men they hook up with after the consensual sex? It’s all only about getting a little action, right? And it doesn’t matter what gender you being a victim of rape is a tramautizing, disorientating, confusing siutation. So, a man overpowering another man is often not that difficult, even without the assistance of drugs or alcohol.
You’re constantly reaching to make excuses for dispicable behavior. Makes me think you might have been “too aggressive” a few times in your life and now is constantly looking for ways to bursh it off.
CastleSF
I am saying – I reiterate – that drugging and raping a male by a male is not OK, not at all, but this one-size-fits-all idea that rape is all about power, control and not about sex, needs an updated revision when it comes to so-called male sexual assaults. We have to at least allow the idea that homosexual male urges are different from those of heterosexuals’ and sometimes they manifest in different ways. And please don’t bring the extreme cases like murders of the victims to this discussion but they are extreme and vile.
Donston
So, you’re saying that gay sexual instincts are more likely to come out in abusive ways and more likely to come out in non-consensual ways and except for the most extreme of extreme of circumstances most victims should be okay with most of this? If that’s your belief then the focus should be on what’s wrong with a decent percentage of gay and gay-leaning men that they need violent, non-consensual and/or fetishistic situations in order to get off? And how can we stop this from persistently happening and get a decent percentage of men closer to mental health and closer to respecting one another? Your conclusion shouldn’t be that need to okay with making victims out of one another. Your mentality is part of the reason so many gay and gay-leaning men resent other men or at least gay men.
CastleSF
You have a lot of depths and I respect that but I think you missed the mark this time Donston. All I am saying is that the dynamic between two males and the male bonding are intrinsically different from that of a man and a woman. That’s why you can view male wrestling, male boxing and MMA from a sexual perspective while a man wrestling with a woman would be considered violent and unbecoming. That’s all I am saying. Take my words with a grain of salt if you don’t agree.
DHT
You are attempting to defend the indefensible. Predatory drugging is a despicable and cowardly act whether it is heterosexual or homosexual, and exactly how are men who have been drugged with something like GHB supposed to “more equipped to defend themselves”? Rape is rape, whether the victim is a man or a woman, it is violent and disgusting.
Cylest Brooks
I vehemently disagree with your main premise that rape in the context of a male aggressor and a male victim cannot be motivated by power and control.
Rape is always about control and power. Always.
CastleSF
If I didn’t make it clear before, I’ll try it again. I am not defending drugging sexual assaults, not at all. I am talking about the so-called male “sexual assault” disputes where no drugs are involved. Someone was groped in a frolic way and this person then claimed he was being raped.
DHT
Ah I see…glad you clarified. You were merely defending non drugging sexual assault as a “frolic” rather than defending rape as “most of the cases are more about sex and only a little to do with control”. For a second there I thought you were attempting to do some serious back pedaling.
CastleSF
Look, you can twist my words and take them out of context in a way that strengthens your argument. Again I am just advocating a more nuanced approach to look at the so-called male sexual assaults. I have seen many young males’ lives being ruined and forced to register as a sex offender. What they did was wrong but they are not deranged sex predators.
Cylest Brooks
This is just a gay version of rape apologists. Sure, you might be able to find an anecdotal story or two to support your belief, but that doesn’t make it real. And by saying “we need more nuance”, rape victims simply hear “they won’t believe me”.
1898
it’s rape. it has nothing to do with sex or romance. you’re trying to find a rational or logical explanation for something that isn’t based on rationality or logic
DHT
In the UK and Canada they are finally taking the idea of a gay sexual drugging predator seriously, not so much here in the US yet. After the conviction of Porto in the UK they reopened over 50 cases concerning gay men who died with date rape drugs in their system from just the past year. Here in the US they still don’t even investigate, mainly believing that gay men are doing this to themselves. The most recent case here in DC of Daniel Potucek looks like a drugging predator murder. So didn’t Joel Taylor’s death on the cruise ship. I sincerely doubt highly accomplished men are drugging themselves with a date rape drug, it’s more likely that they said “no” to someone who wouldn’t accept it as an answer.
DHT
I actually think the apps are safer than the bars. We are hearing more and more how these guys are getting arrested after meeting someone on an app, you never hear about them getting arrested out of the gay bars. I, for one, actually look forward to more and more gay bars closing, the gay bars don’t care about predatory drugging. These predators won’t change their behavior in the straight bars and will be more likely to get caught. I am actually looking forward to a ringside seat to watching one of them get their teeth knocked out.
ChrisK
That makes no sense. When you’re out at the bar you have a chance to talk to them and size them up. In the apps you’re basically going in blind. You don’t know who’s on the other side.
DHT
Just so you know, you can spend time getting to know someone online before meeting them irl, often it may take months. Also, predatory drugging in bars is a real thing and I don’t think you can tell who may or may not be a rapist by talking to them in a bar. Often people think the drugged person is drunk. Considering how men are in gay bars, and note that men are more often rapists than women, it is probably far more common among homosexuals than heterosexuals.