Britney Gets No Tabbie Dough

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We’ve still got to wait for the results of today’s monumental elections, but we’ve got another oh-so important ruling: the outcome of the Britney Spears sex tape slander suit. (Yeah, we were on the edge of our seats, too)

For those of you who don’t know/care: Spears sued tab-rag US Weekly for running a story about an allegedly missing explicit tape she made with hub-rag, Kevin Federline. The pop-tart, who hasn’t made an album in years, tried to get $10 million from the magazine, but has been thwarted by a judge’s dismissal. Our favorite conservative newspaper, The Daily Mail, reports:

A judge ruled that Spears could not complain about a published story about the alleged raunchy tape because she had exploited her sexuality to earn huge amounts of money.

Sure, Spears made buckets of money shaking her titties, but those days are clearly over.

How does the judge want her to make her money now if not by suing magazines? It doesn’t seem like the girl has another album in her, and she absolutely cannot get an actual job. That would be humiliating. That evil judge has just taken food from the mouths of babes. Vile! Hideous! “Outrageous”!

(PS: We love that Brit-montage from Celebguru. We want to plaster it all over our bathroom for inspiration.)