The haters were waiting for Britney Spears to fall flat on opening night of Piece of Me, her new ambitious Vegas residency that’s set to rock Planet Hollywood’s Axis Theater with 98 shows over the next two years. But if there’s one thing we’ve learned about the Queen of Pop’s many downs and glorious ups, it’s that she can’t be held down.
Britney was on fire (and soaking wet at some points) last night, according to a number of industry insiders and superfans that were blessed by the Holy Spearit during her inaugural 90-minute “career hits” spectacular. Among the faces sitting front row center were Katy Perry, Adam Lambert, Sia, Selena Gomez, and Miley Cyrus, who by all accounts were having the time of their lives (and probably picking up some tips).
She flies, she works, she brings Mario Lopez on stage and whips him! She may not have been dancing like she was 18 again, but the critics unanimously agree: No one puts on a show quite like Britney Spears.
Slip into your bedazzled bra and get ready to work, bitch! We’re reliving the best moments of opening night at Britney Spears’ “Piece of Me”:
How about we take this to the next level?
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http://youtu.be/q8AS38CKihY
The Queen made sure to whip out her best moves in the first few numbers. After descending from the ceiling in a globe (Madonna much?) and emerging in a “Toxic”-esque sequined bodysuit, Britney commanded the stage with some serious hair and leg-ography.
http://twitter.com/SelMGTB/status/416943476618428417/
Katy Perry and Selena Gomez were THRILLED!
It even looked great from the nosebleed section!
Okay, okay, she may not have been singing live for a majority of the show (people claim she only went live during three ballads), but homegirl was definitely working up a sweat.
A serious sweat.
Things tone down a bit as Britney morphs into her natural form, an angel, and sings what she has referred to as her favorite Britney song, “Everytime.”
The 1st #PieceOfMe show 😀 @britneyspears you are a perfect bitch, i love you pic.twitter.com/M0aWkUoJki
— Lozanoo??? (@LeydiLozano) December 28, 2013
Actual angels, take note.
http://youtu.be/BhqRZz_GqIQ
She cranks it back up with some interesting remixes of “Baby One More Time” and “Oops.” In case you need a freeze frame of those gorgeous dancer bodies, you’re welcome.
An excited @mileycyrus and Mama spears at the opening of #PieceOfMe – pic.twitter.com/xJn5oa80S6
— Brady (@BradySpears) December 28, 2013
Everyone in the audience was pretty excited to hear the Queen resurrect her career’s greatest hits, but no one was #dying quite like Miley.
http://youtu.be/Cs9MiXqlHFE
The audience collectively screams yaaaasss as Fashioney undergoes a costume change and arrives on stage in a stunning bedazzled brassiere and a sick pair of gold hi-tops. She basically recreates the famous “Me Against the Music” video with Madonna, only this time replacing Madonna with insanely hot dudes in flannel tops. #workbitch
http://youtu.be/yMfCi6ipXAs
And finally, the “Gimme More” redemption performance we’ve been waiting six long years for. It’s bittersweet that she totally nails this performance in Vegas, the city where that ripped her to shreds at the 2007 VMAs.
The stage turns into a psychedelic dance party for a quick “Scream and Shout” interlude that runs into club-thumping hit “Boys” and later, the brand new “Perfume.” She looks insane in neon!
…and some signature Britney chair-ography for “I’m A Slave 4 U”.
http://youtu.be/PQtoN92gY98
Kinkney comes out for a BDSM-themed performance of “Freakshow.” At this point, Britney’s dancers bring a fan from the audience on stage, outfit him in a harness and force him to crawl around stage while Britney whips him.
But OH MY GOD, it’s actually Mario Lopez!!
I always knew he was into leather.
http://youtu.be/hXngS67TMrk
Circusney arrives to kick off the final third of the show, which is packed with high-energy dance hits. She performs amid a ring of fire, confirming the fact that she is the hottest bitch in the room.
http://youtu.be/vdJK2lSmtQc
Whoops! Britney’s most hilarious first-night blooper comes when she totally ruins a great mirror effect around 0:20 in the video above. But hey, if that’s the worst she can do, that’s pretty damn awesome.
http://youtu.be/Bbkk7eFJaUc
And here’s the big reveal! That massive three-story tree Britney so longingly talked about in her E! documentary I Am Britney Jean. Miss thang enters the stage via the second story of the tree…
…and then jumps off!
Flawless form, Brit Brit.
http://youtu.be/rXVjnjzEYls
She finishes the show with “Crazy” and an encore of “Till the World Ends.”
She finished strong.
She knew she nailed it.
Miley knew she nailed it.
Everyone wants a Piece of Britney.
So haters can just back off. The Queen is here to stay (at least for 97 more performances).
DShucking
That’s great but what does this have to do with Duck Dynasty?
crowebobby
She’s in great shape for a 50-year-old; for a 31-year-old performer, not so much. Those thunder thighs may be genetic, but there’s no excuse for that thick waist. Then again, I’m not her target audience so I’m sure she couldn’t care less about my opinion.
DerekR
@crowebobby: No one cares. Using terms like “thunder thighs” makes you look like an asshole.
boring
Articles like this make me understand the stick wedged into JimBryant completely.
vonlmo
Drag Queens in Toledo, Ohio are putting on as fierce a lip-synched show as Brit-Brit… for dolla tips.
jimbryant
This looks like a bad drag show, bad miming included.
Note, also, how there appears to be no male-male sensuality in Britney”s show. However, there does appear to be female-female sensuality. Why are these women afraid of putting male-male sensuality in their shows? A bit homophobic, are they?
Tell your friends about Britney’s apparent double standard.
Tyler100
@jimbryant:
Also notice that for as much as Jim complains about the lack of male-male sexuality in popular culture, when celebrities come out or gay characters are featured on TV, they’re never up to his standards. He always finds some sort of flaw to criticize them for. Anytime male-male sexuality is featured or discussed in a positive light, he’s there to tear it down and berate everyone about it.
If you love male-male sexuality so much, perhaps praise it once in a while, and be satisfied with the world. Or shrivel up and die. Whatever comes first.
jimbryant
Tyler,
I do praise it. I praise it in the movie Midnight Express. I praise it in Querelle. These depictions of male homosexuality appeal to me because they are unorthodox. They don’t abide by stereotype.
The reason I find most modern depictions of male homosexuality awful is because they are stereotypical and rote, not to mention fake.
stadacona
Watching this video, it appears she can’t dance. I see better dancing at the Zumba class at my local gym. All of the backup dancers are superior to her. We’ve known for years she is a terrible singer. She’s fat and unattractive. What has she ever done for gay men? Besides signing her name to computer generated dance tracks, she has no apparent talent at all.
boring
@jimbryant: Sex acts featuring Randy Quaid should NEVER be praised.
spencer87
Same ol from her.She just doesn’t have IT anymore.SHe was atleast a great dancer,but now she is stiff and her passion for it seems gone.
rickgould
After watching a few of these clips, the only thing Britney is killing is her career. Lip-synching, lifeless dancing by the show’s star… this show will sink faster than her latest album.
bobsanders
This is Phil the duck guy. You fags sure are pretty hateful.
zoompietro
@spencer87: IA, she’s lost it. I’ll stick to listening to her greatest hits CD. When and how did Brit forget how to dance?
Takes some big balls for her to call that lip sync fest a “Vegas Show”, it’s really more of an act. Celine Dion didn’t have to jump from trees to get people to come to her show. Brit’s pulling off more tricks than Penn and Teller, difference is that their show is actually really good. Still think Planet Hollywood would’ve been better off getting P!nk or Christina.
queertyreader
I cannot believe that a person like Britney Spears does NOT SING LIVE ever and still gets critical acclaim. She is a singer (releasing CDs), so she should sing. If she were a dancer, well okay, but this is just plain BS. In my eyes, Britney Spears (and other “singers” who do not even deserve to be called singers) is a joke on heels.
Recently there are more and more “singers” whose concerts are either half or full playblack (e.g. Janet Jackson – another joke). Britney’s concerts are full playback all the way as far as I’ve heard. Singing isn’t even an option for her.
buybioniconitunes
If that’s “killing it” then we must have really low standards. When I think of killing it, I think of performers like Beyonce who sing and dance live really well at the same time…and I’m not even a Beyonce stan (I mean my screennames buyBIONIConitunes not buy4onitunes)
also not to sound like a body fascist but looking at Britney’s body, I cant help but think about all the Britney stans who were absolutely vicious about Christina Aguilera’s weight gain on social media…all I’m gonna say is wow I guess karma’s a bitch
Tackle
@crowebobby: I would not call thoes thunder thighs. Britney has muscular worked out thighs/legs, and she looks great. And there is an excuess for what you call her thick waist. It’s called growing older, and having two children. I’m sure your ass is not as tight and firm is it was, even ten yrs ago…
spencer87
@queertyreader: Janet’s shows are 80% live and her last one had a great balance or singing/high intensity choreography.So the “jokes” on you.
spencer87
@spencer87: *Of
AuntieChrist
Ewww…!!!
Richard
I think it was great. I enjoy Britney for what she is. That being said she has a show scheduled on my birthday if anyone wants to take me 😉
bobsanders
Britney has a beautiful womens body. BRITNEY HAS NEVER BEEN OVERWEIGHT EXCEPT FOR HRR PREGNANCIES. FOR THE HATER CHRISTINA AGUILERA FAN, BRITNEY HAS ASMALLER BODY FRAME THAN BRITNEY. BRITNEY IS MADE TO HOLD MORE WEIGHT. CHRISTINA IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE AS THICK AS BRITNEY. THATS WHY WHEN CHRISTINA GAINS WEIGHT SHE LOOKS MASSIVE. SHE HAS ATINIER FRAME THAN BRITNEY. WHEN THEY BOTH WERE IN THEIR TEENS CHRISTINA WAS ALWAYS SMALLER THAN BRITNEY. BRITNEY IS NOT FAT AT ALL. WHEN IGNORANT PEOPLE SAY OH CHRISTINA IS SMALLER THAN BRITNEY, IT’S IMPOSSIBLE FOR BRITNEY TO GET AS SMALL AS CHRISTINA. SHE WOULD LOOK ANOREXIC. IF ANYBODY LOOKS AT THESE PICTURES AND SAYS BRITNEY IS FAT THEN THEY MUST BE BLIND AS A BAT.
bobsanders
I meant to say CHRISTINA has a smaller frame THAN BRITNEY in part of my previous comment.
bobsanders
Why does everybody care if someone likes BRITNEY. There are hundreds or thousands of artist or entertainers that I don’t like yet I don’t care if other people like them. I don’t understand the appeal of some of them but it’s their choice. Why do people have to use so much hate when they say they don’t like BRITNEY. They can just say she is not my cup of tea, and that’s it. I could sorta understand if they don’t like BRITNEY if she was a mean stuck up spoiled brat, but she’s not. She is a humble sweet girl. She doesn’t dress up to impress anybody when going to Starbucks. Please stop all the hateful comments. If you disagree why can’t you be polite.
bobsanders
@spencer87: Thats not true, both Janet AND MICHAEL JACKSON LIP SYNCED. I BOUGHT A MICHAEL JACKSON DVD CONCERT AFTER HE DIED AND THE WHOLE THING WAS LIP SYNCED. THATS WHEN I THOUGHT TO MYSELF WHY DO PEOPLE SAY THINGS ABOUT BRITNEY EHEN SHE LIP SYNCS SOME OF HER SONGS, BUT NOT ANYTHING ABOUT ONE OF THE BIGGEST ENTERTAINERS IN HISTORY. I REMEMBER WHEN BRITNEY FIRST CAME OUT INSIDE EDITION DID A STORY ABOUT BRITNEY AND JANET JACKSON SUPPOSED LIP SYNCING.
CCTR
Janet Jackson’s influence is obvious in much of Britney’s dancing and movements on stage. I hope Britney follows Janet’s example and takes note of Janet’s “Up Close and Personal Tour”.
When singing has never been your strongest suit and the dancing is not what it used to be, making live vocals a bit more prominent offers your fans something more… something more than a lousy lip synch backed by a dance track slipped into cool costumes and expansive sets and productions… something more than a performer who can’t do it like they used to. It would be great to see Britney progress in that way as well.
B Damion
It’s not realistic to compare Britney Jean to Beyonce. Beyonce is a polished performer and is more R&B than pop and will for ever be in her own lane.
However, when compared to Madonna,Selena G and Katy P. She isn’t doing too bad. I mean come on it’s Britney. She has already proved herself. She has a legion of followers who adore her no matter what and I wish her the best with this new venture.
Britney you betta work bitch!
B Damion
All of her male dancers can get it. Dam!
Dam Asses tho.
krystalkleer
well at least the back up is worth the admission….drag queens are more believable with their lyp service…SORRY!
avesraggiana
She doesn’t move very well, even for a non-trained dancer.
deanstreet
it’s no secret that Britney has been phoning it in since 2007. she’s proved herself, and she knows it. the vegas show falls flat for me – once again she’s not even trying. but the fact that this article is what passes for journalism nowadays is what’s most appalling. i don’t understand this thing about “haters” – when you make music/art in a public forum, you open yourself up to criticism, constructive or otherwise, and it’s been that way since the beginning of time. it’s not “hate” – get over it.
Niall
I see Queerty has started getting the stans on ATRL to write their articles on pop music now? Because this(and some of your other articles) are descending into posts like what I find on pop forums. Embarrassing.