OUT IN PUBLIC

Brown Bear’s Gay Blowjobs Only Last About Four Minutes, Say Researchers

brown bears gay sexTwo gay brown bears living in a sanctuary in Croatia enjoy having gay oral sex, according to researchers who have been watching them perform oral sex on each other for the last six years.

The report, published this month in the journal Zoo Biology, was conducted by a group of researchers led by Agnieszka Sergiel of the Polish Academy of Sciences Department of Wildlife Conservation. During 116 hours of observation, Sergiel writes that the two male brown bears that were observed pleasured each other orally on 28 different occasions.

io9 notes that this isn’t the first time bears have been recorded performing fellatio, but other instances could be considered a “marker of stress rather than pleasure.” This time, however, is “the first observations of long-term, recurrent fellatio in captive brown bears kept in proper conditions.”

Each performance lasted roughly four minutes. And in case you’re wondering, there is a top (provider) and a bottom (receiver):

All cases appeared to be initiated by the provider, who approached the receiver while he was resting on his side or with part of his abdomen exposed. If the receiver’s genitals were not exposed, the provider would push his head into the pelvic region or use his paws to separate the hind legs. After accessing and initial licking of the penis, the provider would find a more comfortable posture, such as sitting or lying…once actual sucking started, neither bear changed position.

The journal suggests the brown bears developed a habit of performing fellatio because they were weaned too early from their mothers, wondering if it’s “evidence of long-term effects of suckling deprivation.”

Wrong. This is obviously happening because that bear on the bottom is sexy as hell. He’s basically asking for it.

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20 Comments

  • Teeth

    So, if the interpretation is that this behavior is from early weaning, then is that their conclusion about human BJs? Or just the gay ones?

  • Nowuvedoneit

    @Teeth: Lol, I’m in no way substituting a teat for pen1s. They can believe all they want and it might be true for bears but not me.

  • Teeth

    @Nowuvedoneit: Agreed. Only the saddest people in the world think that sex is only for procreation or due to mental pain, lol. You get so much from sex. Bonding, pleasure, stress release, a mid morning snack…

  • Cam

    “The journal suggests the brown bears developed a habit of performing fellatio because they were weaned too early from their mothers, wondering if it’s “evidence of long-term effects of suckling deprivation.””
    ___________________________________________

    There is a book that documents massive numbers of examples of homosexuality in the animal kingdom and also all of the ways that researchers have tried to pretend that it wasn’t. One incident had two female chimps fingering each other and making orgasm noises for long periods of time that the researchers tried to claim was a greeting behavior (Even though they hadn’t been apart). They will ALWAYS try to pretend that it is something else.

    The book is….

    http://www.amazon.com/Biological-Exuberance-Homosexuality-Diversity-Stonewall/dp/031225377X

  • masc4masc

    so there’s officially nothing that sets fags apart from animals now. nice.

  • Stache99

    @masc4masc: Correction.. f?a?g?s? humans.

  • DB75

    @masc4masc: Well, I do dress better than the average bear…so…. :-)

    • Stache99

      @Milk: Unless the bears have been drinking all night. Then that 4 minutes can take f o r e v e r.

  • Milk

    Sometimes four minutes is all one need.

  • Alan down in Florida

    Maybe the brown bears have been taking lessons from the gay bears.

  • Billy Budd

    The Bonobo Monkeys have gay sex all day long with multiple partners. They know how to have a good time. Just check on youtube.

  • Qjersey

    Hear that Xtians? Breast feeding prevents the gay. Get to work. LOL

    Bullshit. I was breastfed and I could reach the opposite conclusion :)

  • tdx3fan

    @Milk: If I am in true, full form I can make it take less than two minutes. Most of my partners have to ask me to stop because they will not be able to hold off.

    I wonder if these bears know that this behavior is unnatural and that the Great Bear God Yogi will smite them for it!

  • Aranos

    The report desperately tries to portray this behaviour as sick. It is completely biased. They say:
    “Sexually stimulating behaviors that are not linked to reproduction are rare among non-human (especially non-primate) mammals.” -> Wrong, just read “Biological Exuberance” by Bruce Baghemil to get a list of animals with non-reproductive sexualities.
    “In solitary species, such behaviors are more enigmatic, and possibly indicative of something abnormal.” -> Wrong. In some cases, homosexual relationships can be an advantage for solitary animals too, as they increase their chances of survival as seen in male lions not belonging to a pride.
    “We suggest that the behavior began as a result of early deprivation of maternal suckling, and persisted through life, possibly because it remained satisfying for both individuals.” -> This is so absurd I shouldn’t even bother commenting it. As “Teeth” said: this would mean heterosexual Blowjobs are a result of early deprivation of maternal suckling too? LOL!

  • Ogre Magi

    “I don’t think the Ranger’s gonna like this Yogi”,

    “Yeah, well fuck the Ranger Boo Boo”!

  • BECQueerty

    Bears will be bears.

  • Merv

    I have an overwhelming urge to go to the car wash.

  • Harley

    Hey, Rick Perry. You think the bears may be alcoholics?

  • Cam

    My favorite was the panic that the anti-gay bigots had when this behavior in the animal kingdom first got reported out.

    At first they spent years claiming being gay wasn’t natural because it never appeared in the animal kingdom. Then when reports came out that it WAS common in the animal kingdom they did a quick 180 and tried to say that being gay was bad BECAUSE animals did it. LOL

    Oh you silly bigots.

  • Dxley

    Watch the fucking teeth!

Comments are closed.