love stories

Bryan + Jay Leffew: This Is What (Many) Happy Valentine’s Days Looks Like

We’ve been following the Leffew Family for almost two years now. (See our first post from May 2009.) We didn’t ask Jay and Bryan at the time, but we adopted them — with their two adopted kids, Selena and Daniel — as our unofficial Queerty family mascots. Which is why it’s so lovely to see them add to their previous holiday videos with this Valentine’s Day special. Now tune in as you watch a young romance blossom into marriage (yes, a legal pre-Prop 8 one), parenthood, and what so many of us are striving for: unconditional love. Many more Happy Valentine’s Days to you all.

Get Queerty Daily

Subscribe to Queerty for a daily dose of #family #leffewfamily #love stories and more


  • redball

    What’s “Queety”?

  • Jaroslaw

    I think this is the first time we’ve seen them in “A” shirts – they look very handsome with their hairy chests. As if I wasn’t envious enough before… :) Yeah, despite all, I’m still happy for them.

  • Kev C


  • Bobert

    HOT couple!

  • Butter

    That’s an incredibly sweet video :) . BUT… worst song ever. My ears bled! But #2: Id listen to that crap song 1000 times to have be as lucky as the two men in the video. Cheers!

  • gayfamilyvalues

    Butter you dont like the song NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. :O)
    Picking the pictures and video was the easy part trying to pick the song took me all day…Don break my heart on Valentines.

  • Craig

    Yes, let’s cue the celebration for the white queens, adopted by Queerty. So predictable. White privilege, as always.

  • mjcc1987

    Craig – not deserved.

    Though my spouse-partner-love and I cannot yet get married (we may not live to see it), we have been together 23 years.  We now have together a house, cars, bills (dear god the bills), lawn mowing, oil changes, and of course we’re older-balder-fatter, now with glasses and aches and pains, yet I have never been more in love with him. He is my world and together we face the world.

    If he would just stop baking I could lose a few!

  • Jeffree

    @Craig: Let’s cue the sad music for bitter gay man who wants to keep children in foster care so that other gay men can’t provide them a loving home. Get a life, grow a heart. Or just cry alone in your cave.

  • Craig

    @Jeffree: I wasn’t even talking to you, nor did I say or imply ANYthing to that effect, so why don’t you just save it you disgusting white bastard.

  • Jeffree

    @Craig: Do some math. If straight/lesbian/gay couples or singles don’t adopt, then what happens to the children in the foster care system? Do you want them to stay in that system? Suggest a better plan.

    How would you possibly know what race I am when even I don’t know?

  • justiceontherocks

    @Craig: When you post on a public message board you are “talking” to anyone who reads it.

    Whenever there’s a positive post about Caucasians, we can count on you to spout some meaningless racism. You come off as bitter and bitchy and therefore you convince no one. Yes, you are a racist.

    Try finding a little better use for what seems to be your limited mental capabilities.

  • Craig

    @Jeffree: I know what you are. And again, I never said anything that would imply that I was against adoption. You are just making shit up.

  • Craig

    @justiceontherocks: Tell me what I need to convince you of? I don’t need to convince you of anything. And when ISN’T there a positive post about Caucasians, since 99% of the stories here revolve around your lives.

    Now, here, we have Queerty exclusively endorsing this white couple and putting them on a pedestal. And you have the nerve to preach to me about racism? PLEASE.

  • Jaroslaw

    Craig – why don’t you post a link about the couple of your choice who has repeatedly opened their lives to unprecedented media coverage instead of just bitching? If Queerty is racist and there is no hope, either fight constructively or give up. Just to complain proves NOTHING.

  • justiceontherocks

    @Craig: Because you are Blanche, you are.

    You are miserable and a racist. That’s a pathetic way to live a life.

  • KalperniaRena

    Awwww. Those are two lucky guys to have found something so special.

  • Craig

    @justiceontherocks: Thanks Dr. Phil. Do you have anymore pearl drops of wisdom that you’d like to share?

  • JM

    Those two are incredibly cute together, and so are the kids! A heart-melting moment for me, watching this. I hope one day I can find a husband that loves me as much as these two obviously love each other.

  • yolanda


    pound sand blacky ;D

  • Craig

    @yolanda: That’s right, let it out. Just like I knew all of you whites would.

  • daftpunkydavid

    it’s too bad we have to expand on this, but as a black person, let me just say this family is so beautiful; whether they’re white or non-white is irrelevant… wishing them many, many more valentine’s days, with full equality under the law. and thanks to queerty for bringing them to a wider audience.

  • Craig

    @daftpunkydavid: Typical self-hating sell-out.

  • The Artist

    Isn’t this article suppose to be about love…I don’t hear the sunshine is your voices! PEACELUVNBWILD!!!

  • Pitou

    AAWWWWWWWWWW. That was really sweet to watch! I hope to find myself in a relationship like that in my future. That really was a sweet video! Thanks for sharing :) Your family is soo beautiful!

    Hey Craig… Piss off! :-) Maybe if you weren’t soooo damn angry about your own life, you too could be as happy as the Leffews! I take it you’re still pissed off about the whole slavery thing..? Come on now buddy.. that was a long time ago and sometimes you just gotta move on! I’m white, and was tormented by black kids throughout my childhood in school.. does that mean I get to sit here and hate on every single piece of news involving black people? Wrong! This world is hateful enough, you don’t need to contribute to it.
    You argue against everything anyone here wrote here in response to your hateful original post. You’re very much on the defensive. You shouldn’t live your life that way, it will put you in an early grave.
    I am really curious though, why so much distaste for white people? I ask in general terms, because your original post just screams “I hate anything to do with anyone not black!”!
    If you came across a horrific car accident and inside that minivan was a young white family, all in serious/critical condition. Would you just turn around and walk away without helping them?
    I guess what I’m getting at, Sir, is that you move beyond your current frame of racial-mind. We are one species. Not one is better then another. Much the same as not one straight person is better then any single gay.

    A view in any other way, makes you no less worse then the KKK!

  • irisgirl

    So beautiful——the perfect expression of love, joy and family for Valentines Day—or any day!

  • Lefty

    It’s a very beautiful video. They look so happy together and their kids are obviously being raised in a loving home which is also wonderful to see. Beautiful. The song was perfect too. Thanks x

  • justiceontherocks

    @Craig: No. You already got more of my time than you are worth.

  • Jon B

    @Craig: You’re racist.

  • dani

    @Craig: man the fuck up, you douchebag.

    Love is love, gorgeous couple, happy belated valentines to everyone with a heart!

  • Beau Colby

    I think it is wonderful that this family is happy together. I do not understand why others use this blog area to display their jealousy and attack others. I guess some people do not have a partner and they are not happy about that. My partner and I have been together for going on 14 years and it is comforting knowing that another person cares for you as much as you do them. Anyone who wants to reply to this post in a nasty way, feel free to do so. We are happy with OUR lives and nothing anyone spews on the web is going to change that. We know who we are, WHAT are you? I feel sorry for you to be so bitter at life. Maybe that is the reason you do not have a partner. Best wishes to Bryan and Jay. They are living a dream. We can all do so if people would work to make themselves a better person…BC

  • Craig

    @Jon B: White queens can never call anyone else racist. EVER. You white queens will never know what that word means. YOU are the racists. Every gay person of color knows that.

  • Jaroslaw

    actually Pitou, Craig didn’t respond to me or you! Which reminds me of a condensed book I read about in Reader’s Digest. A white woman in her late 30’s wrote about her parents moving back to the old neighborhood in Chicago – the church & associated (Catholic) school was now all black, she and her sister were the only whites. They were tormented too, even some of the black teachers looked the other way. But I didn’t get the impression she now feels she can hate all blacks. It is just the way the world is and we have to rise above it.

    I will say again, Craig – if it is completely hopeless and you feel everything is against you why bother being here and being so nasty? Just move on to an all black website or take my suggestion and post a link to a couple of your choice. Show us how narrow and prejudiced Queerty is. But I see you haven’t done that.

  • JM

    @Craig: Bitch, please. Based on your comments, we can call you worse than racist, although that will suffice for now. So shut the fuck up and bask in the awesome cuddliness of the happy couple.

    Bryan + Jay: sorry for all the profanity and negativity in these comments. I hope you two are as happy and proud of your family as you seem in the video! You guys make me feel like a future is possible for this lonely young gay guy. Happy Valentine’s Day to you and your kids! =^_^=

  • Craig

    @JM: No, why don’t I tell you to back the fuck up and quit throwing around words that you don’t know the meaning of? White people are the ones who invented racism, and white queens are racist. You people have segregated everyone, and you expect gay people of color not to notice.

    Well, sorry, but your fucking racist “love” on Valentine’s Day will not be celebrated. You love your whiteness – that’s the only thing you’ve fallen in love with. Most white queens are interchangeable with the KKK.

  • Nels

    My favorite parts were when the whole family was together and the children were smiling and laughing. I can’t wait to have that with my partner someday.

    It was a little sad to see so much hate toward each other in the comments though. As if there isn’t enough negativity to go around already.

  • JM


    “words that you don’t know the meaning of?”

    I know the meaning now, since you’re being racist towards me. See your comments regarding my supposed “love of whiteness” for proof. Racist jackass.

    “White people are the ones who invented racism…”

    Wrong. See this article on the Arab slave trade, mostly of Africans and Europeans. That dates back to the 7th century. White and black in the same boat. It turns out people are just people. Go figure.

    “white queens are racist”

    I’m not, or I would have called you a word starting with a capital ‘N’ instead of a racist jackass (see above). Therefore, not all white queens are racists, and you are a racist jackass.

    “your fucking racist “love” on Valentine’s Day will not be celebrated”

    Wrong again. These guys obviously enjoyed Valentine’s day in style, plus most of Queerty is celebrating their love. What you meant to say, I’m sure, was that their love will not be celebrated by you. And since you’re a racist jackass, I suspect nobody else cares.

    “You love your whiteness”

    You got me. I do.

    “that’s the only thing you’ve fallen in love with”

    Not quite. I love everyone else’s cultural identity, too. Unless your cultural identity is being a racist jackass.

    “Most white queens are interchangeable with the KKK.”

    Still wrong. I’d prove it, but I’m done feeding the trolls. Please know that I have nothing but contempt for you. Go to hell Craig, ‘cuz I’m going to bed.

  • michael92

    This is really beautiful.. We don’t see this enough in the media.. I had it on mute and was listening to some of my fav love songs.. Tear.. One day, hopefully!

  • Craig

    @JM: Fool. Racism is a concept developed and exploited by white people, so why are you talking to me about slavery? Just because other peoples and cultures practiced slavery doesn’t mean it had a racist component, and if it did, it was derived from white people. This red herring is a perfect example of just how clueless and stupid you white queens really are. Own your racism and shut the fuck up.

    Oh, and BTW, I am not being racist toward you or any of you white queens. I’m just acknowledging the reality of the racist situation that you people have brought on gay people of color, and continue to. And you don’t EVEN know what my race is, and yet you are quick to threaten me with using the “N” word. That says it all right there.

    And thanks for admitting you love your whiteness. That was probably the most honest and truthful part of your post, and goes without saying. Now you are dismissed.

  • Anon

    @Craig: narcissist w/a capital N.

    awesome couple. you guys rock!

  • thematics

    There are more people of color in the world than there are “white people.”
    Think: China, India.
    Your beef is with the US:, so you should consider moving to a place where you feel like part of the majority.
    Uganda awaits you. China awaits you.
    Bon voyage!

  • Jaroslaw

    Craig – since for most of history, people didn’t travel how would white people be responsible for a racist component of slavery if they weren’t there? This is not to say racism would be a component of every form of slavery, but at some point in time, most races feel or felt they were superior to their neighbors of a different race. I’m obviously bored or I wouldn’t be wasting all this time on an idiot like you.

  • dani

    @Craig: Cry me a fucking river. Tosser.

  • Casey

    I don’t agree with Craig about Queerty choosing this family when they’ve adopted Hispanic kids. I do get where he’s coming from, as a Hispanic gay, there’s a lot of racism in the gay community. I’ve never experienced it myself because I choose not to hang around people who do clubbing and stuff but maybe he does so he’s experienced it more than others.

  • Craig

    @Jaroslaw: Another idiotic comment. People have been traveling across geographical and cultural borders for millennia. Read a goddamn book.

    And no, all races have not felt they were inherently superior because of the melanin content of skin. That idea is from and continues to benefit white queens like you. So be quiet because you have no idea what you’re talking about.

  • Jaroslaw

    Craig – you want me to read a book and you are incapable of even understanding a few sentences? Who said anything about superiority about melanin content? I said RACES of people felt superior to others, e.g. their neighbors.

    Comparatively speaking, of course a tiny handful of explorers traveled, but 99.9 percent of people did not. What I was driving at was white people were not everywhere at all times in significant enough numbers to be responsible for everything negative you are claiming.

    I will admit that someone thought you were black and I piggybacked onto that whereas you never actually said. Still I hope it is accomplishing some therapeutic purpose for you to get all this hate out (while you are apparently waiting for your Rx’s to be filled) because a normal person who felt so unwelcome and prejudiced against wouldn’t keep wasting their time here.

  • OrchidIslander

    @Casey: “I don’t agree with Craig about Queerty choosing this family when they’ve adopted Hispanic kids. I do get where he’s coming from, as a Hispanic gay, there’s a lot of racism in the gay community.”

    Casey, I don’t agree with Craig either. These guys are absolutely adorable in their appreciation of each other. I am willing to bet that they make top notch parents. Watching their reception dance made me mist a bit.

    All, I have to say regarding your point that there is a lot of racism among gays is true that. I’m black and gay. My experiences within the gay community have pretty much left me not feeling part of the “larger” community at all. Gatherings or events that I do attend are noticeably diverse; or I’m not a part of it. Defense mechanism probably. Of course, not everyone is racist; but still there is more than enough.

    I can’t really support charges of racism and white privilege against this couple. I see nothing to suggest that, and if you label them so just because they’re white – then I’m thinking that you too are part of the problem.

  • Bella

    reading all these comments I think some peeps got off topic… Im new to this leaving comment business but when I watched the Leffew Family videos all I could see was pure love they all had for each other & I could see me doing all those some things when I was raising my son. I am a single white mom living in NZ & admittedly I dont know much about the struggle going on in America but having watched just about all of the videos in the Leffew FAmily & seen there struggle on the prop 8 and other topics I am sad to realise how much hate is in the world!!! Its unbelievable what ppl to to each other. So to the Leffew Family u are as a couple & family just gorgeous

Comments are closed.