Projection Propels Lewinsky Breakdown

Bubba Broke O’Donnell’s Heart

Rosie O’Donnell really took the Monica Lewinsky scandal to heart.

Unemployed O’Donnell told her New York Comedy Festival audience that she once used her stage to rail against Bill Clinton’s philandering ways. The lesbian entertainer didn’t know, however, that Clinton had been in attendance. Upset by her rant – during which O’Donnell said she hated the then-president – Clinton sent O’Donnell a note and his phone number. Impressed by his balls, O’Donnell dialed up Billy Boy, whose apology apparently brought tears to Rosie’s eyes. Page Six relates the story she related.

“And I said, ‘You know, listen, here’s the deal, dude. I’ve been disappointed by men my whole life. I loved JFK, my mother loved JFK, and you were the JFK to me. And you let me down, man. You killed me and that hurt me a lot, and when you hurt me, I don’t know, I didn’t expect that out of you and I thought you could do better for your wife, for the country and just in general.”

Clinton then worked his charm on O’Donnell. “He goes, ‘I’m sorry for all the men who ever hurt you, I’m sorry that I hurt you. Everything you’ve said to me, I’ve said to myself, and I hope one day you can forgive me, and I hope I can forgive me.'”

It’s then that O’Donnell says she lost it and cried like a baby whose deep psychological issues cause severe, debilitating, presidential projection.