Bullet Proof Vest Part Of Gene Robinson’s Wardrobe

It’s function over fashion for Gene Robinson. The openly gay Anglican Bishop revealed last night that he wears a bullet proof vest after receiving death threats. He also travels with a body guard – just like a Hollywood celebrity!

The secure sartorial details came during a speech at Kent University in England, during which Robinson lamented the treatment of queer families.

Always an optimist, however, the preacher man insisted that happier days are on the horizon:

Heterosexism is the problem with today’s society. Homosexual families are still viewed as second class citizens, but what we are seeing today is the death of patriarchy. In order for the Church to come round to the idea of gay marriage, we need to separate the civil right from the religious right. If we can do that, we might get more religious support for the issue.

It’s an exciting time to be alive.

Robinson also speculated that anti-gay hate would break God’s heart. God has neither confirmed nor denied said speculation.