Politics

Bush Hearts Hasturd

As next month’s elections loom on the national horizon and the GOP scrambles to secure their votes, President Bush’s standing by his man. Which man? Old Dennis Hasturd, of course (pictured, trying with all his might to expel some of his bullshit).

To this end, the men will be having a lovely date Illinois, where they’ll campaign for their Republican peers. Not surprisingly, the Foley scandal keeps rearing its ugly head, something Bush thinks will change when peeps go to the polls next month.

”This Foley issue bothers a lot of people, including me,” Bush said at a news conference. But, he said, national security and the economy will be the deciding factors in voter’s minds.

”When they get in that booth, they’re going to be thinking about, you know, how best to secure the country from attack and, you know, how best to keep the economy growing,” he said.

He, you know, wishes, you know, that were, you know, the case.

But, seriously, if Bush really thinks that appearing with Speaker Hasturd will really make this whole Foley mess disappear, he’s dumber than we thought. The only way they can hope to make people forget is to pull a Democrat scandal out of thin air.

Well, from what we hear, that’s exactly what’s going to happen. Apparently, the Republicans have something on someone and pretty soon we’ll all know about it. Because what’s better than one political scandal? A counter-scandal, of course!

Don’t you just love politics?