“But They’re Manolo Blah-Nik’s!”

You may have heard that Spanish shoe designer Manolo Blahnik will expand his empire with a men’s line. We’re not sure that’s the best idea. Nor does men.style.com executive editor Tyler Thoreson:

I wouldn’t wear them. I can’t imagine guys wearing them. They’re of limited appeal, I think. He’s a master cobbler, and so you probably won’t find a better made pair of shoes anywhere, but the style isn’t going to be for everyone.

Indeed. The only people we can see in those puppies are horribly rich, horribly tacky homos and, possibly, an overzealous, over-primped twink.

Blahnik attempts to deflect criticism by pointing to his horrendous creations’ “craftsmanship”. His pleas haven’t convinced What Not To Wear‘s Clinton Kelly: “This is not about craftsmanship, it’s about, ‘Hey look what I have on that you don’t have the balls to wear.'” And we all know that’s what short shorts are for, not blue suede slingbacks.