Butch Lesbian Files White Hot Discrimination Suit

Khadijah Farmer’s turning up the heat on the Caliente Cab restaurant.

The butch lesbian got booted from the eatery on gay pride when a bouncer found her in the ladies room. Now Ms. Farmer’s looking for some justice – she filed a lawsuit:

Farmer said she was using the women’s bathroom when a male bouncer burst in and banged on the stall door, saying a customer had complained that there was a man in the women’s room.

The lawsuit alleges that the bouncer insisted Farmer was a man and refused to look at her identification, which she offered as proof that she is a woman.

“I was thrown out of the restaurant because of who I am and how I look,” Farmer said. “It was humiliating. No one should be subjected to that type of discrimination.”

Farmer’s lawsuit alleges the bouncer employed a little sex stereotyping and tossed her because she doesn’t fit prescribed gender roles. As Lambda Legal pointed out, such a stipulation would be protected by the recently neutered ENDA.

While New York state law doesn’t explicitly protect trans people – of which Farmer is not – the young woman and her lawyers are hoping to work some legal magic:

While Ms. Farmer herself is not transgender, [the Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund] sees the case as strategically important and potentially precedent-setting, said Michael D. Silverman, the executive director and general counsel of the Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund.

The suit is being filed under both city and state law. The city law, whose gender protections are generally considered more expansive, is intended to protect residents whose gender expression is different from what is traditionally associated with the legal sex assigned to a person at birth.

While state law does not include such a protection, the defense fund argues that state law should be interpreted as protecting New Yorkers against sexual stereotyping, in which individuals are expected to conform to societal expectations of gender-appropriate behavior. The fact that the bouncer refused to look at Ms. Farmer’s identification card before ejecting her demonstrated that he was judging her simply by how she looked, Mr. Silverman said.

That is, the security guard though Farmer had a phallus, because women can’t be masculine.

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  • Mr. B

    But how does gender identity have anything to do with being LGB? Oh, wait, it does.

  • hisurfer

    I think she’s raising serious issues … but I have some questions about the incident itself. I’d be curious to hear how her entire party got thrown out of the restaurant.

  • Qjersey

    It was an outrageous incident magnified by it happened on gay pride day in the west village, but at the tip of the breeder section, so a boycott wont’ necessarily be effective.

    BUT go for the juglar using ANY legal means!

  • Lee Lee

    Sheesh! Even if she was a guy, who cares? Why do they even have separate public restrooms anymore anyway? No body has separate his/hers toilets in their homes! I’m a breeder and I’m no prude about who I crap next to. I hope Miss Kadijah sues their butts off!

    P.S. Where I come from she’s not butch looking!

  • matt123

    Girl should like a girl. Even she is a transgender. Otherwise this kind of embarrassment will occur ocaasionally.


  • Mr. B

    Matt123, I’m assuming you’re one of the many spamwarts Queerty’s recent decision to open up comments to unregistered users has exposed us to. Barring that, though, you are a fucking idiot.

  • ProfessorVP

    Pageoneq.com has her full photo in man drag, and yeah, she is inviting occasional trouble in the salle de bain department. I don’t think men care if women venture into their terlit territory, but women like to think when they go to a public bathroom that there won’t be men in there. It is absolutely inconceiveable that Ms. Farmer doesn’t know she is more often than not perceived as a male.

  • Mr. B

    Hisurfer, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was more a matter of confused reporting than anything else. I mean, one of your buddies is getting hassled for using the “wrong” bathroom, the bouncer makes that buddy leave, are you and the rest of your crowd going to just wave goodbye and continue sipping your martinis? I sure wouldn’t. So there’s a safe bet that the rest of Ms. Farmer’s friends just got up and stormed out with her.

    There’s also the possibility that, when the bouncer started giving her trouble, Ms. Farmer’s friends protested–loudly. I mean, if I were getting hassled for something, I know I’d feel a lot more secure if a bunch of lesbians had my back. So it could be that the friends started giving the bouncer lip, and his response was basically, “Okay, fine, you dykes can ALL just get out of here!”

  • Mr. B

    ProfessorVP, that’s not the point, though. One of the reports even said she often gets read as male and knows it. But the point is, the restaurant didn’t have the right to police where she was allowed to pee. If they asked her to leave the women’s room and she said, “I’m a woman,” per NYC law that should have been enough. At the most, they should have taken up her offer to look at her ID, which they didn’t.

    And just because she passes easily for a guy doesn’t mean she necessarily feels comfortable using the men’s room. Nor should she have to. I’m not sure if you were saying she should have just used the Gents’ and get out of everybody’s hair, but plain and simple, the restaurant didn’t have the authority to order her to do that.

  • Alexa

    The problem is not just that she was perceived as a male, but that the bouncer refused to believe she was female or even look at her ID that proved she was a female.

  • Mr. B

    Yup. The bouncer even said to her, “Your ID is neither here nor there.” That just seals it–it can’t be anything other than an act of bullying and discrimination.

  • Mrs Patrick Campbell

    Of course this person is a man but what’s wrong with his being in the women’s toilet? He might just be cruising for some fish – perfectly normal!
    What does Nan Michiganwomyn say about this?

  • enchantress

    What happened, Mrs PC? Did you finally get redtagged at datalounge and so came to troll here?

    Sorry, back to lurking.

  • ProfessorVP

    Nobody’s suggesting Ms. Farmer use the men’s room. But the idea that a restaurant employee has to check IDs or do DNA-testing on rest room users is beyond the pale. I believe if and when the case goes to a jury, it will find that a “reasonable person” would take Farmer to be a man, which would cause trouble in the ladies’ room, and that the restaurant employee just put a lid on the situation the quickest way he knew how to. Also, the employee could say that this situation never crops up and there’s no training for it. Bottom line: Don’t go on an airplaine with a “Fuck Bush” T-shirt and act all surprised when you’re told to turn it inside out or cover it or scram. Likewise, if you know people take you for a man, pee at home, not in public ladies’ rooms.

  • Ash

    “Likewise, if you know people take you for a man, pee at home, not in public ladies’ rooms.”

    Okay, I don’t know any response to that except to say you’re an asshole. Someone’s gender identity should not force them to hold in their urine in public. That’s discrimination and a violation of basic human rights. C’mon, “Professor,” you’re being ridiculous. The problem here is not the fact that she looks like a man, but the fact that because of this our society is punishing her.

  • hisurfer

    re: confused reporting. I agree, which is why I have more questions on the story than actual opinions.

    My suspicion is that activists needed a case, and they found an incident to fit their needs.

  • Mrs Patrick Campbell

    We LOVE this dieseltruck and would like to meet her. We have always gotten on very well with bulldozers and dieseltrucks. They are the ones who helped us to get sober/clean many years ago!

  • ProfessorVP

    “Okay, I don’t know any response to that except to say you’re an asshole.”

    Is that MY fault, Ash, if you lack vocabulary skills? Believe me, doofus, this is certainly not the first time Ms. Farmer raised hackles in a public restroom, just the first time she chose to publicize it and maybe make a buck. There’s no way in the world she doesn’t get off on confusing people. Fine. Just not in the ladies’ room.

  • Jeff

    I am very left-wing on social issues, but I don’t understand this lawsuit. She consciously tries to provoke people by trying to look like a man, and she really does a good job of it. There had been complaints of a man in the ladies’ room, so in this case her provocation ended up causing commotion. I agree that the better course of action would have been for the bouncer to spread word around that there was a chick on the presmises who really, really looked like a dude, but I think he was justified in kicking her out to quiet the commotion she was causing.

  • Mr. B

    But Jeff, if someone like, say, Chris Crocker went into the men’s room and got hassled, would your response be that he should stop trying to provoke people by being a flaming queen?

    I wasn’t there and I’m betting you weren’t either. But I am really having a hard time understanding what’s so provocative about a short-haired butch dyke wearing men’s clothes. And in NYC during Pride, no less–all I’m saying is, the woman wasn’t dressed in head-to-toe drag with fake facial hair and the whole bit. She was trying to do her business in the restroom–a restroom she fully well had every right to be in–and she was made to leave. Didn’t even get the chance to prove that she belonged there, which would have taken two seconds for her to whip out her ID. Instead, the bouncers decided to make a cosmic deal out of it.

    Seriously, in this day and age, if someone is so violently offended by people who aren’t gender normative, what on earth are they doing out in public, let alone in the middle of the West Village?

  • Ash

    A thousand thank yous, Mr. B.

  • ProfessorVP

    Ms. Farmer knows exactly what she’s doing. As I said earlier, queerty just shows her head. Pageoneq showed her in entirety. She strives for the look of what most people would swear is a dude. Mission accomplished. More power to her, let her have some fun. But not in the ladies’ room. This ridiculous play-acting the part of victim is really silly and disingenuous. My politics are so left they’re not even on the radar, but Farmer needs to grow up.

  • Alexa

    Professor, this may be your most ridiculous argument yet. So what if she was wearing men’s clothes (and do we even know they were men’s clothes? I have some clothes that are very masculine looking, and all except a couple of t-shirts were bought in women’s stores)? So what if she has short hair? So what if she wasn’t wearing makeup? So what if she looked like a guy? She ISN’T a guy. She was a woman in a woman’s restroom trying to go to the bathroom.

    I don’t have a problem with them checking on her, I wouldn’t want an actual guy hanging out in the ladies restroom, but when she offered to prove she was a woman that should have been an end to it. It is the refusal to look at her ID that is the problem here, not them initially thinking she looked like a man. Everything could have been avoided by the bouncer looking at her ID.

  • **

    I highly doubt that when she gets dressed in the morning she gives herself an extra look in there mirror thinking- “yes! i hope i fool some folks today into thinking i’m a man!” seriously- wtf?

    The correct course of action should have been for the bouncer to check her ID.

  • ProfessorVP

    Yes, she gets off on it, and no, she shouldn’t take her act into the ladies’ room. Women are, as Alberto Gonzales would say, “quaint” in this regard- they like to think there is one place where there is privacy from men: the ladies’ room. Farmer childishly breaks the social contract, then gets all fibbertigibbet. Goodness, gracious, how could anyone confuse me for a man? What’s all this fuss about? I need smelling salts, I’m feeling faint. Call 911. No, call my lawyer.


  • Mr. B

    I love that this event took place in the WOMEN’S room and it’s the FRAGILE LADYFOLK people keep pointing to to justify the action against Farmer, and yet not a single woman has commented with anything but support for her. It seems that on this blog, anyway, it’s a cluster of fags who have gotten their panties all in a bunch about some butch dyke taking her “act” into the ladies’ room.

    I’ve got news for you, folks. Everyone’s presentation, whether it’s suit and tie or miniskirt and heels–and regardless of what gnarly bits exist underneath–is in part an act. Okay–Prof, I know you’re a charlatan of a troll who gets a kick out of making outlandishly offensive statements, but seriously, guys–get a fucking grip. THE WOMAN IS NOT SUING FOR BEING TAKEN FOR A GUY. She’s suing because the bouncers overreacted and turned the thing into a witch hunt. I’ve known enough androgynous-looking women to know that funny looks in the bathroom is par for the course and not much of a shocker for them, but saying “I’m a woman” or, at the very worst, a flash of ID (or tit, depending on the venue) is usually all that’s necessary. Most other women–or security guards, if it comes to that–tend to apologize and move on. Yes, this is a mountain made from a molehill, but it was the bouncers’ actions that did this, not Farmer’s. Farmer is just fighting back for getting her night unnecessarily ruined by a really jacked up (un)due process.

  • Heather_L_James

    I effing love you Mr. B! And thanks for the great idea! Next time I am getting harrassed I am just going to whip out my dirty pillows instead of my ID. I doubt it will work, but the ensuing public indecency arrest and subsequent lawsuit might be interesting.

  • ProfessorVP

    Clearly, the B doesn’t stand for Brains, Mr. B. Nobody said Farmer is suing for being mistaken for a guy. Have a grown-up explain this to you: Farmer likes making trouble. Farmer digs it. The male bouncer is not responsible for checking IDs, then making an announcement in the restroom: “Attention, ladies. I have just verified, by checking ID, that the person you’ve reported is a man is, in fact, a female. You may resume your business now. Good day.” Farmer will lose her case, pea-brain. By the way, do you even know what a charlatan is? Maybe it was on one of those word-a-day improve your vocabulary calendars, but try to use it correctly. Farmer, if you’re reading this, even old-fashioned leftie pinkos like me won’t be behind you. Quit playing bait-and-switch and grow up. When you look, dress and act like Bullwinkle, don’t get peeved when you’re mistaken for a moose.

  • Mr. B

    And clearly the VP doesn’t stand for Very Perceptive, Professor.

    I have Googled myself sore and I can’t for the life of me find any news of her prior to the reporting of this Caliente Cab incident. No lawsuits, no calls for public action. So tell me, Professor Charlatan-Strawman, what is all this other rabble-rousing she’s done? Apparently you’ve been present at every venue where she’s been chased out of the bathroom?

    Seriously, I don’t get it. What is it about butch lesbians that horrifies you so much that you feel you must play knight in twinkling armor for all those sweet ladies who are victimized by their bathroom antics? Did some woman in a suit steal your flambé one evening? Piss on your shoe? Piss in your flambé and steal your suit?
    Since you’re clearly not interested in actually legitimately discussing this case, I’ll stoop to your level. Methinks you have such a hate-on for Khadijah Farmer because she’s more man than you could ever be…or get. Ooooooooh.

  • ProfessorVP

    Half-ass, I said believe me this isn’t the first time she’s done this shit, but the first time she’s going public and play victim. There was no need to google it. I suggested you get an adult to help you out, and I stand by that too. Like Bush, you don’t learn or ingest anything, just think of the next crap you’re going to say. And I don’t know how you accomplish this, but you actually write with a lisp. This is as far as I’ll go because you’re a waste of time. Farmer likes making trouble in bathrooms. She’s got it coming, as does Larry Craig. There is behavior that is perfectly fine except in that little room with the porcelain fixtures, where most people don’t want to be bothered. If you don’t get
    such a simple concept, you’re as tree-stump dumb as the decider-in-chief.

  • Jessica

    I met a butch lesbian on a dating site http://bisexualmate.com. She scared me. She asks me to treat her as a man. It’s inadmissible for me.

  • SlowKissGoodNigt

    I guess they should just make “gay bathroom,” “lesbian bathroom,” “trans gendered bathrooms,” hell while we are at it……..maybe then we should include bathrooms for black people again,then one for little people, and then oh heres a kicker……..maybe a bathroom for fat people……….I mean come on grow up. You truly have to be kidding me.

  • Sam

    i would like to commend you on actually printing the details… every other news feed says “a popular restaurant”….
    go you.

  • kermit

    wow .. a gay woman informed them she was female but was thrown out on the basis of her appearance, and offered legal ID .. got to be joking

    did a male bouncer go into the women’s bathroom !??

    is kinda sounding like it might be a classic “direct discrmination”
    as I’m guessing it would probably be under discrimination laws in my country

    i.e. treating someone differently on the basis of a characteristic like their sexuality or sex

    e.g. seems they were informed she was female,
    but chose not to accept/hear that
    on the basis of incorrect/negative attributions and stereotyping

    so the bias – the incorrect/negative attribution and subsequent different treatment are really the problem = discrimination

    plus perhaps detriment due to embarassment and humiliation, and emotional/nervous harm

    along these lines there is also always the general principles and common laws of civil “tort” as well

    brave woman – but go for it – in reality that could happen to any number of gay females, but it should not

  • Kermit

    also hypothetically …

    where exactly was she supposed to go to the toilet .. in the mens .. obviously not a reasonable expectation or condition .. so she needed to go toilet, and the only sensible, reasonable, and even legal option was the LADIES!!!!

    in my country it could also be what is known as “indirect discrimination” to attempt to stipulate a condition (e.g. going to the mens, or not going to the toilet) that the person could not reasonably comply with, but that could reasonably be provided (e.g. female toilet access)

    but it just sounds like “direct discrimination” really .. there seems to be a strong bias operating

    those are some of the laws in my country, but if all else fails, maybe use the principles of “tort law”

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