The act of ghosting, i.e. abruptly cutting off all communication, is the scourge of the dating scene… unless, of course, it’s a matter of self-preservation.
Yes, in some extreme cases, ghosting feels empowering, as one Reddit user recently discovered after suffering through a series of insufferable dates with a guy who certainly sounds verbally abusive.
“On our third date, he told me I look like I have a skin condition on my upper arms, pinched my arm to check the extra skin, called me a whale, told me that I’m easily replaceable at my job,” he recounted in a Reddit post.
The date also made a display of swiping on Tinder in front of our Redditor and told him that he wanted a long-term relationship with someone who “isn’t going to die by the time they’re 50.’”
After wondering whether his date just had a misguided sense of humor, the Redditor eventually decided enough was enough. “I realized what he said really didn’t sit right with me, and that I had too much self-respect to let someone so flippant about making such demeaning comments about me ever have the privilege of knowing my body that way, regardless of how it was intended,” he said.
So the Redditor blocked his date’s number, blocked and reported him on Tinder, and blocked him on Facebook (“which he somehow found despite me never telling him my last name”).
“And I feel good,” he concluded.
Commenters on the post endorsed the Redditor’s scorched-earth protocol.
“I’m not personally a fan of ghosting — I’d rather full-on get rejected so I’m at least afforded the luxury of some sort of closure — but assh*les like this don’t deserve it,” said one. “Cutting him off cold turkey is the best way to mend from the awful things he said and did to you.”
Said another: “He sounds like an assh*le and no one deserves to be treated like that. I would’ve done the same.”
“Ghosting assh*les is acceptable and applauded behavior. Ain’t nobody got time for that sort of negging in their life.”
“It sounds like he was negging you to make himself feel better and make you feel less secure. Good thing you got rid of him. That behavior is toxic.”
Did our Redditor do the right thing? Have you done similarly? Under what circumstances is ghosting encouraged? Let us know in the comments!