Michael Aycox is making history as the first openly gay candidate ever to run in a Mississippi congressional race. He’s currently one of two Democrats on the ballot in the June 5 primary for Mississippi’s 3rd congressional district seat.
The 30-year-old Navy veteran lives in Newton, Mississippi with his husband, Mario, who is currently serving in the Florida Air National Guard, along with their dog, Sasha.
Queerty spoke with Aycox about his historic campaign, what it’s like being an openly gay candidate in a deeply red state, and about that time his dad downloaded Grindr (awkward!). Check out what he had to say…
You initially said that you’re not campaigning as a “gay candidate”. What did you mean by that?
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When we started this race I made it clear that I did not want to be known as the “gay candidate,” but I would settle for being the candidate that is gay. The difference between the two is one defines me by my orientation while the other identifies my orientation. I was not hiding in the closet, although my opponent accused me of this, I just simply believed in integrating–integrating with society as a gay man and [hoping that] eventually acceptance would come. After having numerous people approach me, however, my eyes were opened to the fact that the struggle to find one’s identity is still a big deal. One event in particular changed my own mind and inspired me to address the whispers concerning my sexuality.
You’re talking about the Human Rights Campaign Derby Day.
Yes. While attending the Human Rights Campaign Derby Day, I was introduced to hundreds of members of the LGBTQ community. Each expressed their love and appreciation for my “courage.” To me, this is not courageous. My campaign is for a better tomorrow; to move Mississippi a new direction, to create opportunity, and to remember those who have been forgotten. Courage is the kid who comes out knowing he will be ostracized and rejected by their family. Courage is the Pride organizers in Starkville who fought a city to celebrate equality. Courage is doing something knowing you will receive hate. As I left this event, I realized that my “integration” idea was failing; I had to come out.
Even though you only recently came out publicly, you’ve been out to your family since you were 20. What was that experience like?
My family suspected it. I was just different and never really had a girlfriend. It was difficult for them at first, but I was blessed. My family made it clear that they may or may not agree with my “lifestyle,” but that they would always love me.
My dad was funny though. Before I had told him, his suspicions were high, because of rumors and what not. In an attempt to find out for himself he downloaded Grindr. Luckily for him, I told him before he reached a point of no return.
You and your husband Mario were married in 2013. How does he feel about you being Mississippi’s first openly gay candidate for a congressional seat?
Mario has been incredibly supportive. He is currently preparing to deploy; in an attempt to preserve the integrity of his unit’s mission and his safety we have attempted to keep him out of the spotlight. However, Mario has attended a few events and loved every minute of it.
What have been some of the surprises of campaigning as an openly gay candidate in a deeply red state?
Contrary to popular belief, the Republican candidates have been tremendously friendly and supportive of Mario and myself. Each one has greeted us, generally with a hug, and for some a firm handshake. Our opposition arose from Day 1 within the Democratic Party, ironically. We expected dissention, discrimination, and disdain from the Republican counterparts, but not the Democrats.
Initially, before I filed, I was instructed not to by the state Democratic Chair, Bobby Moake. He explained the party had someone else in mind to run, my opponent, and he would not run unless he was unopposed. I explained my military service, my police background, and detailed my marital status. For nearly a month he would not return my calls or messages, wanting me to go away. In a final conversation, Mr. Moake, when he could not get me to concede, shouted “we will not have a gay congressman in Mississippi.”
How did you respond to this?
His comment was surprising but enlightening. Our enemies surrounded us entirely, it seemed. Mr. Moake’s response not only deeply affected us during our “testing the waters” phase, but it also, in turn, has had far-reaching ramifications in drastically affecting our campaign’s ability to find and secure financial support. While Moake is the Mississippi Democratic party chair, he most definitely does not represent many within the incredible party leadership in this state. Throughout this campaign, the challenges and surprises have kept me alert and served as reminders of the importance of why I’m running for this office.
What do you think is the greatest misconception people outside of your state have about Mississippi and its treatment, specifically, of LGBTQ people?
I think that the single biggest misconception about Mississippians is that we aren’t moving forward. But, we are, albeit slowly. Still, there is much to be done. Nationally, as of late, Mississippian’s voice has been described as hate-filled, divisive, and segregationist. Our flag possesses the Confederate battle emblem and to this day, it alienates an entire portion of the population. This voice commands a lot of attention, but it doesn’t speak for all of us.
Mississippians are a welcoming, hospitable, and kind people; however, Mississippians are proud of their “rebellious streak.” This streak has been felt from the average citizen all the way to the legislative body and in return, we have become last in anything of importance because we are becoming too narrow-minded. It is time for us to broaden our horizons. It is imperative that Mississippi break from this “rebellious streak.” It is time to refocus our priorities.
There is no question Mississippi has some incredible people and many that want to move Mississippi forward, to new heights. Our objective is to inspire Mississippians to change the state’s image. To stomp out racism, homophobia, bigotry, and hate. There is a new face of politics rising in the nation; Mississippi is not behind on that playing field.
Is there anything you would like to add?
We have faced numerous problems throughout the race as alluded to above. We were told that to win this race we needed three million dollars, and we are nowhere close to that number. I believe this was an attempt to be discouraging to our campaign, I believe it was an attempt to steal our joy; but it did not. We have been told it was the objective of the party leadership to keep us off stage—to give us media blackout, to suppress our message, because we are not the party pick. But, that has not stopped our fight, our message, or our resolve. When this interview publishes there will be approximately ten days remaining in the primaries and we are still fighting, busy planning for the long haul. We plan on continuing to make history! If Mississippi chooses me through the primaries, the voice of the Mississippi people will bring about hope for the thousands of LGBTQ in our communities.
Related: This Navy vet is making history as Mississippi’s first openly gay candidate in a congressional race
Chrisk
Maybe you could name the campaign to Mississippi rising or something. Ha Seriously anything to move Mississippi forward is a great thing.
fur_hunter
You are right. Someone has to break the ice there. Why not a handsome military man?
ProfessorMoriarty
Already contributed $100 and am considering donating more. We need about 434 more men like Aycox in Congress, and I’m going to do whatever I can from here in Northern Virginia to help.
fur_hunter
Kudos to you for supporting him financially. I’m on a fixed income, being retired, so I have to watch my coins. GRIN!
Bryguyf69
” We need about 434 more men like Aycox in Congress…”
—
Or women. 🙂
PerryBrass
That’s wonderful, Professor. We all need to actively support men and women like Michael.
dgsea06
How can we not help but support this guy? Even though his ambiguous and contradictory statements about Mississipians are ambiguous and contradictory, he sure has a tough hill to climb.
Missippi “Democrats” are as spineless as the whole nation of “Democrats”, with the notable exception of Maxine Waters, Liz Warren and very few others.
If Missippians are as warm and friendly as he asserts, why do they keep electing such hateful senators and representatives? Like Kentucky saying that they are warm and friendly and re-elect Mitch McConnell! The old etc… comes into play here.
Gerrymandering and rigged elections for sure, and the Southern Democrats are complicit in their cowardice.
He sounds like a smart, reasonable guy with a positive agenda. But to be up against Republicans AND Democrats with no hope for “Independents” in the USA, let’s give him a kick in the appropriate place and wish him well and success. And maybe Missippi can prove how warm and friendly he and they say they are.
DerekWashington
As a long time Dem activist and leader, I can attest to this ridiculous mentality in our party. LGBTQ and Blacks are taken for granted and told to stay in our place. God help the dems if a viable third way ever gets going.
Billy Budd
He is so cute wearing that uniform, that he doesn’t need to explain anything. He gets my vote and a substantial contribution.
fur_hunter
Someone has to break the ice. I wish him all the luck. Who knows? He could be the next Brian Sims. But to be honest, I believe Mississippi has a VERY long way to go before they will accept a gay person in their political arena. I shake my head, though. Wouldn’t it be AWESOME if he won? That thought makes me smile. Good luck, Michael.
white-queer-african
Michael gets my vote. Pity I live in Africa 🙁 I am African Dem supporter at heart.
GayEGO
Michael is definitely a great candidate and his identity should not be an issue. I have been with my partner, now husband, for 56 years when I was in the Navy. Over the years I have purposely intended to have straight friends to show them that we live like they do and are not a threat to them, which they once believed. I have watched Americans learn and evolve to support us and one day, equality will be for all of humanity..
gaym50ish
I have a hunch that the Republicans are only being nice to him because they want him to win the primary for the Democrats, believing he would be easier to beat than the other Democratic candidate. Democrats, on the other hand, probably believe — correctly, I’m sure — that Mississippi voters would sooner vote for a straight candidate.
But I may be wrong. I hope he has a chance.
PerryBrass
I have been in the lgbt movement for almost 50 years, starting right after Stonewall, in 1969. No one then would have believed that someone like Michael Aycox would be running, openly, for office in a state like Mississippi. The times are a-changing—sometimes not as fast as we like—but they are, and men like Michael are doing it, without any cynicism, but only with the idealism, drive, and care that leads to real service to our country. Perry Brass, author of The Manly Pursuit of Desire and Love.
dwick
the Mississsippi Democrats Party state chair, Bobby Moak not Moake, is denying making the statements attributed to him by Mr. Aycox. Who are we to believe?