Golly gee, Queerty commenters sure had a lot to say in response to our post last week about how bored we are by celebrities who act like they’re risking everything by coming out of the closet. Okay, sure, Lance Bass and Chely Wright risked something by coming out. But when we hear stories every day about Mormon kids getting tossed out on the street, or Iranians getting deported back to possible execution, it kind of puts things in perspective.
Nevertheless, we’re very happy that Don Lemon has the nerve to talk about being a gay black man. While it might not be as hard as being a homeless teenage Mormon, you can’t deny there are unique challenges to coming out in the African American community. Lemon explains to the NY Times,
“I’m scared … It’s quite different for an African-American male … It’s about the worst thing you can be in black culture. You’re taught you have to be a man; you have to be masculine. In the black community they think you can pray the gay away.”
That’s certainly true, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be that way: there’s support out there for gay African Americans if you just know where to look.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
So, on Queerty’s patented DIFFICULT COMING OUT-O-METER, where would you put Don Lemon’s un-closeting? It’s a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being a Tim-Gunn-style “well, yeah obviously you’re gay, so what?” and 10 being an awkward, “oh, Mister President, what an unexpected announcement.”
Also, here’s is a video about Liz Lemon, and another one about Don Music.
Daveny
Yes
Kieran
If I were an African-American, I’d certainly care and be proud to see a black man like Don Lemon on CNN. So YES, DEFINITELY I do care that Don Lemon has announced that he is gay. I just wish he hadn’t made it sound like being gay means you’re less of a man or less masculine. The tired, old stereotype of the swishy, weak gay man who secretly wants to be a girl is what has kept so many gay and bisexual men in the closet throughout history.
Michael in Toronto
Good for you, Don. It MATTERS.
Cam
good for him. The more that come out the better. Hopefully one day the next sentance after they come out in any article won’t be “But will it effect his career?!”
The fact that the NYTimes is asking that is basically them saying “Will CNN hurt you because you are out now.”
If they think that, then do a story on it, if they don’t, then they may want to wait a second before completely going negative.
VictorG
The news of Don Lemon (45) and Rick Welts (58) coming out of the closet as middle-aged gay men who first became successful in their fields is not really something to celebrate. Wow, they waited until they made it and their lives were half over! Better late than never and all that, but really… If this were 1971 or 1981 I would feel that it was important and showed progress. But 42 years after Stonewall, if this is typical (is it?) of how far the LGBTQ fight for equality has come, it is pretty discouraging.
asa1973
Of course it matters. For everybody. Everyone needs to see more gay black men come out…to squash all the mess about black men being on the DL. And so that the members of the black community (of which I am a part) will have to deal more and more with the fact that “strong man,” and “gay” are not polar opposites. Honesty and courage make a man strong.
This, to me, matters more than had Anderson come out.
Drew H.
I think it’s easy to be cynical here & judge someone for when they decide to come out. Honestly, I’m glad that he decided to come out on his own terms & there is one more person of color to look up to. So, yes I absolutely do care.
Dennis
Yes it does matter.
DarSco
I am a Black gay man and yes it feels like double discrimination when you come out of the closet. Religion is big with minorities and we use it as an excuse to justify our behavior. You are seen as weak if you are gay. it is sad but true. If you dont conform to what the norm is you are ostracized, look down upon,etc. If you are a black man you are expected to create children and be a man.
I am a black man who looks sorta mixed, did not use slang, has a high Michael Jackson voice and it was HELL growing up. Afr. amers. judge people easily then when we get it wrong we want a do over…..ANYWAYS… Good Luck Don,I’m still a fan. This is a very GREAT day for gay men of ALL races.
IAbuseGays
(a) I am glad he’s African American. We need to see more people of color. Not that the white gay community will ever notice. There are many out people of color. They still are ignored like the recent Power List by Out Magazine.
(b) I am also happy to see him come out while he’s still in the middle of a strong career. This is unusual, and shows a great deal of courage. And unlike the NBA executive, I am not seeing anything about a horrible back story of supporting anti-gay people or damaging a significant other.
(c) However, I must admit that I knew this dude was gay since it has been covered on some sites before now.
SteveC
I’m glad he’s out. It’s never good to live a lie.
But he really shouldn’t be applauded or hailed as some kind of hero, for doing something that teenagers are doing (and running the risk of being thrown out of home).
Don Lemon is 45.
What he has done is really not worthy of praise.
I would like the NYT to have asked him ‘What took you so long, seeing as you were in such a priveleged position?’
I’m glad he’s overcome his cowardice though.
He makes Anderson Cooper look ever more contemptible and pathetic.
Stefan
Anytime,anyone comes out-it’s a good thing. If only for the reason that the media gets bored with reporting it and it becomes the non-issue it should be. I love when the ones come out who you had no doubt about.
SteveC
And can I just say that it does not require courage for a middle-aged, wealthy person to come out of the closet.
It requires courage for a teenager who is financially dependent on his religious parents to come out.
It takes courage for an employee to come out in a company which does not have anti-discrimination policy.
I welcome these celebrities comeing out.
But they should not be applauded for coming out. They are doing nothing that many thousands of other people have done (and who have done so at far greater personal risk).
There is no excuse for a wealthy, middle-aged celebrity like Anderson Cooper for staying in the closet.
Cowardice and greed may be his reason for staying closeted. But being greedy or cowardly is nothing to be respected.
Dawn Bassett
WE LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, DON LEMON.
HE CAN DO NO WRONG, IN OUR BOOK.
MAY HE LIVE A HAPPY, AND ENRICHED LIFE…….
Nick
Time for Anderson to come out now since his colleague has a more difficult time.
asa1973
@SteveC: Coming out…at any time…is courageous. We should welcome it always. I never understand why people having more money or more fame or more years in life automatically should make it easier for a person to come out.
And – before you respond – know that I am speaking as a black man raised as a Muslim in Texas who as a teenager never dreamed he would have the courage to come out. Had there been more Don Lemon’s when I was younger, I might have had someone to point to. Lemon’s decision to be honest will help more gay teens. I won’t stop applauding him!
Kieran
I’m so sick of these ANONYMOUS assholes who inevitably crawl out of the woodwork to criticize famous gay people for not coming out sooner or say that they already knew blah blah blah. Tell you what, when you manage to become a rich, attractive and famous person and come out as gay to a national or international audience then maybe we’ll respect your petty complaints about people like Don Lemon. But until then, just STFU.
Dallas David
50 years ago it would have been a terrible scandal, the guy probably would have lost his job, and his social support system would have crashed and burned. Today, it’s really really wonderful that it’s as much of a non-event as it is. The further along we get to the day when outing ourselves is as noteworthy as deciding to get a haircut, the better off everyone will be.
That being said . . . I do realize that black gays have a tougher time. Churches have a greater place in black society, Christianity has more influence. So when black GLBT’s come out of their closets, they have to deal with not only homophobia, but racist attitudes as well.
All in all, I think the guy did good. Congrats, and welcome to the club.
Are human beings inherently sociopathic? (John from England)
@Drew H.:
This is the thing. The White gay community don’t see how much bigger a deal it is then Anderson ‘I take my boyfriend to pride floats, to oscar parties, to opening of gay bars plus we are ALWAYS seen together’ Cooper.
Anderson ‘I always hang out with Jakes Spears and a NY boy’ Cooper!
It’s like come on now. BORING.
This guy is black. From the South. Getting his career properly going-anchors are not FINISHED in their 40’s, in facts, that is when they start to make it big-and also well known in the black community.
I’ve seen white women just as bad but I have to say unless you are literally dressed like a woman, black woman will still think you are not gay. You literally have to be lisping as they have a very warped perception of what is considered a gay man.
I’m also glad that he was never seen with any woman on the ‘DL’, so people can’t try and pin some horrible ‘all black men give black woman aids’ cr*p on this guy.
Apparently he was always out.
Anyway, I have never been bothered by the glass closet in particular Matt Bomer, James Franco, Anderson Cooper, this guy etc who do a lot of stuff for gay rights and don’t pretend to beard.
Your scorn should be left to Shepard Smith-what has he ever done or come out for gay rights?-and all those hollywood actors who are marrying plus having children to maintain that closet because they are so power hungry-YOU Jake Gyllenhaal!
In fact, those in the glass closet should be praised because I least they don’t want to lie and have a beard.
TomMc
Obviously I was incorrect. I admit that, with pleasure.
Tuck
@Are human beings inherently sociopathic? (John from England):
“Apparently he was always out.”
Yeah, I thought this was the case which is why I was so confused when my boyfriend told me Don Lemon was gay this morning.
SteveC
I’m not condemning Don Lemon, nor am I criticising him.
I am merely saying that he should not be praised or respected for doing something that other people (in far more precarious positions) do on a daily basis, at much greater personal risk.
While I understand that in the black community, coming out may be more of an ordeal than for the white community. I also understand that Don Lemon’s personal wealth, his age, and his chosen career means that his ‘ordeal’ is in no way comparable to the ordeal faced by the thousands of people in much more dangerous positions than him.
Ricky Martin won a GLAAD award for coming out. Talk about celebrating mediocrity.
Jeffree
@Kieran: Thanks for saying what needed to be said. [You were WAAAAY more diplomatic about it than I would have been].
People posting from a perspective of white, urban, upper-middle class privilege don’t recognize that they have so little understanding of how their lives, families & careers differ from those of other people.
Kim
@SteveC: I agree noone should be praised for saying they are gay anymore including non celebrities.
TMikel
I give him a 2.5. In other words, “ho hum.” I came out in 1969 – LONG before it was safe and easy to do – I lived in Iowa at the time. I realized that not being honest meant that I would have to be paranoid and worried all my life. I lost a few friends, but none that were really friends. Yeah, it is a decision that one must make, but get over yourselves. In the course of human history, YOU are a very small player.
TomMc
@TMikel: Define “come out”? Did you tell your Conservative high-school girlfriend? I told mine in 1984. Of course though, the guys I’d slept with already had an idea before that…
Whatever the case, seems you were being not-totally-straight in the 1970s. That’s cool.
disco lives
Maybe he can help CNN and other networks improve the “gay person” tab in their rolodexes. (As in the almost-always-white gay perosn they call up when they need a gay talking head to discuss some gay-related story).
Young questioning black people aren’t helped any when they turn on the TV and see the “gay talking head” is rarely ever black.
And, by the way, why don’t people like Dan Savage, Michaelangelo Signorile, Richard whats-his-face from the Clinton admininstration etc. etc. take the voluntary step of telling networks “thanks for the invite, but maybe you should find a minority for once to represent the gay comminity.” I highly doubt these camera-loving media whores would actually do that, though.
Curt
As a black gay man, i find it refreshing that lemon has made it publicly known now. Yes some people will betray him and belittle him now but he will be amazed at how many people will respect him even more. Like i have. As far as anderson, i think he feels he’s already out and besides he doesnt want to publicly state then fine. Let him do him.
rrr
Matt Maume is being an asshole in these articles. Coming out isn’t a contest of “who has it worse?” where anyone who isn’t doing it under the worst and most dangerous circumstances gets awarded sneers, derision and minimization of what they are doing.
If you are going to take this sneering attitude to celebrities coming out then Queerty should stop making a big deal about how important it is for celebrities to come out.
Red Meat
I love him on CNN, he is way hotter than Cooper.
Meowzer
While I don’t know who Don Lemon is…. I applaud ANY gay person when they come out of the closet. Good for him!
The
The heart of the matter is that people are troubled with being out. Some choose to end their life rather than to have to come out. Let’s not ever minimize the importance of such things. Please get over your self-hate and misguided anger issues. We need more celebrities to do the same. Hurray for all those who have paved the way since the 90’s for you have made it necessary for folks like myself to do the same!! I came out back in 1996/1997 and times were quite different for being African American and masculine and non-stereotypical in anyway shape or form for being black and gay. I was about 23 and I was not in a good place in my life at all… So I would like to pay tribute to the 90’s for being so upfront about homosexuality, bisexuality, drag queens, and transgendered expressions!!
Ellen (TV Show)
Norm (Real World New York)
Pedro (Real World San Francisco)
Dan (Real World Miami)
RuPaul (Supermodel.. You Betta Work) (But I’m a Cheerleader)
Wilson Cruz (My So Called Life)
Rent (Broadway Production)
Special Thanks to:
Miss Janet Jackson
“The Velvet Rope”!! Songs such as “Free Xone” and interludes such as “Speaker Phone” have also addresses homosexuality and homophobia.
Thanks you Willie Ninja for Vogue (not Madonna)!!
Thank you to the movie “Threesome” and MTV for helping to put the Gay 90’s into the mainstream.
There maybe more, but again thank you for putting a face to being openly gay.
I have not forgotten how hard it used to be.. and to Don Lemon, god bless and peace to you in your life and career!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qw3Z8Oa7E3Y
🙂
The heart of the matter
The heart of the matter is that people are troubled with being out. Some choose to end their life rather than to have to come out. Let’s not ever minimize the importance of such things. Please get over your self-hate and misguided anger issues. We need more celebrities to do the same. Hurray for all those who have paved the way since the 90?s for you have made it necessary for folks like myself to do the same!! I came out back in 1996/1997 and times were quite different for being African American and masculine and non-stereotypical in anyway shape or form for being black and gay. I was about 23 and I was not in a good place in my life at all… So I would like to pay tribute to the 90?s for being so upfront about homosexuality, bisexuality, drag queens, and transgendered expressions!!
Ellen (TV Show)
Norm (Real World New York)
Pedro (Real World San Francisco)
Dan (Real World Miami)
RuPaul (Supermodel.. You Betta Work) (But I’m a Cheerleader)
Wilson Cruz (My So Called Life)
Rent (Broadway Production)
Special Thanks to:
Miss Janet Jackson
“The Velvet Rope”!! Songs such as “Free Xone” and interludes such as “Speaker Phone” have also addresses homosexuality and homophobia.
Thanks you Willie Ninja for Vogue (not Madonna)!!
Thank you to the movie “Threesome” and MTV for helping to put the Gay 90?s into the mainstream.
There maybe more, but again thank you for putting a face to being openly gay.
I have not forgotten how hard it used to be.. and to Don Lemon, god bless and peace to you in your life and career!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qw3Z8Oa7E3Y
🙂
Gary
He’s just a kneegrow. No one cares.
David Ehrenstein
@Gary: You’re defintiely no one, Gary — a big gaping hole where a person should be.
Don Lemon has always been afine professional news anchor. And thank goodness that constant pining has stopped. He’s gay, out and proud. Consquently he can be an even MORE effective news anchor as he doesn’t have a Giant Punk Elephant in the Bedroom blocking our view.
Anderson Cooper just lost another pathetic excuse.
Mick
Good for Don Lemon.
Anderson resists coming out regardless of how foolish he looks for not doing it when others are. I don’t know if he’s really weak or really strong.
UWSguy
I’m proud of Don. Wish more would come out
Eleanor Webb
It doesn’t matter Don. I think you are cute and enjoy your reporting the news. It does not make a difference. You are still a human being living your life. Keep on keeping on!
Trever Levine
I did not need to hear or want to know about his sexuality. It is a Big Turnoff for me to hear him discuss his personal life. I will not be watching CNN when he is on as I will only have one picture of him in my mind. And it won’t be a professional picture.
IAbuseGays
@SteveC: Everything you say is very true. Class is definitely an issue in the gay community as much as race is. So, its great that he came out, but there does need to be a focus on the impact of class as far as how brave someone is and what that means for their lives as far as discrimination is concerned. I wonder how many people here know that gays make less money that hetero males because of sexual orientation?
Reid
@Trever Levine: Just passing through, but gotta say I agree. Just keep it to yourself. He has compromised a professional standard by talking about his sexual desires. No one needs to hear about that.
Jeffree
Reid/Trevor: “Just passing through” is code for “I’m trolling the internet for gay sites.”
If every time you see an out gay man on TV all you think about is sex, then you clearly are gayer than I am. That’s saying a lot.
Run along, cupcakes, to your closets and let the adults carry on the grown-up topics.
IAbuseGays
@Jeffree: I would use the word “fucked up” but hey to each his own. See, the interesting thing here is do they think that each time some straight reporter , which is the assumption, mentions his personal life in anyway. What about any entertainer. And if not, that sums up why they are fucked in the head. At any rate, I really question if these are real gay men or not. I have met some messed ones, but never anything like “Don’t come out” That sounds like something a crazy bigot might say.
Patsy Stoned
Oh Reid and Trever (or should I just call you Single Troll?) — do you picture Katie Couric getting plowed by a guy or Matt Lauer eating out a women when you watch them? Can you look at people you KNOW are straight and not picture their sex lives? If you can’t see a gay man without picturing him in a sexual situation it just means YOU WANT TO FUCK HIM. And ain’t no shame in that – Don’s pretty good looking.
But you are probably just the usual “gays should keep it to themselves” troll(s). So whatever.
And David E – too true (about the racist asshole AND Anderson’s cowardice).
BrandonJD
Who writes for this site? Seriously?
You guys are the gay trolls of the internet.
It is an achievement when ANYONE COMES OUT! Making a scale of how difficult his was paints you guys as the jaded cynical urban white queens I thought you were.
THIS IS WHY GAY PEOPLE OF COLOR DON’T LIKE THEY ARE A PART OF THE GREATER GAY COMMUNITY. Because the greater community belittles them, ignores them, excludes them. The most racist behavior I have experienced oddly enough came from other gay men.
Count me out. Have fun, Dan Savage and the lot.
slurp
mmmmmm…..lemon juice
TheRealAdam
@BrandonJD: Why is it that black gays have to use a time of celebration, such as Don Lemon’s coming out, to whine about themselves and how “racist” white gay men are? There was nothing racist or negatively race-based about this article.
Seriously, just shut up. No one cares how many white men turned you down for a date or flirtation and how scarred you are from the experience. Get over it. It’s always the same thing with you people.
TheRealAdam
@disco lives: Maybe these “young questioning black people” should be more focused on what these white gay men are doing for gay equality (which applies to EVERYONE regardless of color), rather than how much their skin tone matches the other. It’s not about race, it’s about equality.
And your criticism of Dan Savage, Michaelangelo Signorile, etc. for not automatically trying to incorporate racial minorities is ludicrous. Their concern is with equal GLBT rights for all, so why should they be concerned about how many pro-gay/gay blacks or other minorities are visible? That’s not their responsibility, nor should it be, and to somehow hold them responsible for what you feel isn’t sufficient gay POC in the media is just stupid.
Aiden
@TheRealAdam: I see the racist is back.
TheRealAdam
@Aiden: Yes, I can’t stand the racism of blacks, as well.
Trent
@David Ehrenstein: Thank god Queerty is back. Not sure where the old queens judged and ragged on others during it’s down time. Everyone is free to plot the course of his or her life as they see fit, but I guess since this is America, every old queen has the right to critique from their laptops from their little home offices. Sad unfulfilled lives of their own I guess.
David Ehrenstein
@Trent: Speaki for yourself, Trent.
Bob
Yes it matters every time people come out. In this case it matters more, since he is african american. I just wish the flood gates would open up and each coming out would not be a news story. When that happens it matters the most. For those holding back, your will be on the wrong side of history and what really matters. Discrimination in all forms still exists, i expeirenced in the workplace recently, i believe. SO come out!
Lefty
@Trever Levine: Eww, do you imagine all newsreaders having sex instead of listening to the news?
That’s pretty sick.
Lefty
As for him coming out so late, I read a great quote from John Waters the other day: “Don’t judge until you know the full story – and you never know the full story”.
Anyone coming out is an act of courage. Good luck to him.
Lefty
@The heart of the matter: Great post!
I LOVE LOVE LOVE Wilson Cruz, and respect him so much. Same too goes for the others you mentioned. x
Jim Hlavac
How do we know that Lemon wasn’t out all along to everyone he knew? — which is out indeed. The only people he wasn’t out to were his viewers, whom he doesn’t know, and who could and should care less. Being gay has nothing to do with being a newscaster, that’s for sure. But what, are we all supposed to now get on TV and come out to the viewers or otherwise we’re still in the closet? I’m out, I don’t think I was ever even in, but the nation doesn’t know it, only those I know know it. And 53 and never married and a gentlemen friend is a clue, I’d say, without much prompting by an announcement that I’m coming out now. And those who I encounter new quickly find out — not through announcement “Um, I’m gay,” but simple statements like “Oh, look at that good looking guy.” And that’s that, I’m “out” all over again to some hetero who was blessedly clueless and now is shocked that I “came out!” Geez, the blind are limitless.
Lemon isn’t all of a sudden saying “I have been in the closet all this time and never did a gay darn thing in my life.” He’s been living quietly apparently, doing his job, getting ahead, and almost certainly being out to everyone he encountered that needed to know or could figure it out — single and 45 is a clue for most heteros; I’d say his mom knows too. Only now he’s done so in an announcement, like a commercial almost, to sell his book, and so that the world of CNN and news junkies know. And weirdly, to millions more Americans, and a good 100% of the rest of the world, he’s still in the closet or even non-existent.
And that’s the problem with celebrities “coming out.” Just be out, oh famous ones, and say “This is my hubby,” and quit the “oh, the torture of not being out!” while being out with all the people you know in your life. What, no one who knew Ricky Martin personally didn’t know? He was that closeted? And Lemon too? Give me a break. They were out, now they’re selling books on “outing” themselves to strangers. I’m not buying.
Armand
Save your breath, Don Lemon. “I’m scared … It’s quite different for an African-American male … It’s about the worst thing you can be in black culture.”
So he pulls out the I’m-a-Negro-in-the-21st-century-and-persecuted-by-my-Black-community.
Girl please. You’re 45 and have a well paying position.
What’s the moral of this story? Stay in the closet and come out when you are successful.
KBKBKB
@Trever Levine:
His coming out will encourage a LOT more people to take a brave step and face their fears than it will discourage people from watching him or CNN because they can’t get certain images out of their mind when they hear particular words.
Remember, he was a victim of child sexual abuse for 10 years, and overcame that horror to become one of the most prominent and successful journalists in the nation. Anything he can do to share his story of survival should be welcome by everyone, especially those suffering castigation or exploitation by others.
Bravo to Don Lemon, a class act in every respect.
Bob
Gary – your reply above shows you ae mental giant – NOT!!!!
confused black girl
Hi I’ve been reading everything about Don Lemon since he came out,but I have a question for black gay men.Why would you be so afraid of what other black people think of you?I always thought that black gay people pretty much reject black people so that they are accepted in white culture.I’ve seen on you tube tons of black gay people saying they hate being black and black people.
Joey O'H
I have the most respect for Don Lemon, but members of the gay community already knew he was gay, and it takes guts to come out. Just ask anyone who has… and there are a gazillion of us! And thse “Celebrity Coming Outs” are growing a bit tiresome since they seem only to be a vehicle to promote a book.
So celebs are using their celebrity to promote their books by coming out.
We knew Don Lemon was gay.
I’d like to see one person in the public eye come out without having anything to push like a book or even a People magazine cover. This kind of self promotion is getting pethetic!!
Would Don Lemon (at 45 years old) come out to the public if he didn’t have a book to promote. Probably not!
I learned enough last year with Howard Brgaman’s big brewhaha over Chely Wright who must of the population (unless you’re a country music fan) had no clue who she was.
Shannon1981
I am glad he is out, but how convenient that he did it just as he is doing book promo. Kinda cheapens it, because that’s the only reason for it.
asa1973
@confused black girl: Whoever said there was no such thing as a stupid questions was stupid, and this is a stupid question. I hightly doubt, Confused “Black” Girl, that you are even black…
callmeljok
I commend Don Lemon! While he has had solid success in his career he is in no way a household name. He is probably at the peak of his popularity and his career and though he is 45 you wouldn’t know from looking at him. It is very difficult in the black community which has a serious Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy. I know. We should not belittle anyone for coming out when they do…it is personal. We all wish everyone would but for some it is still very hard. I think Don had an epiphany when he admitted that he had been sexually abused on air and this started his progression to coming out. Congratulations Don!